Another sign that misery...LOVES company!

Oh Dai, you poor dear. I hate to hear that. What does your FW say about it? Would it help if the four of you sat down and discussed why it is so important to you. Maybe if they realize they will be more accepting. Here, we don't judge. In my humble opinion, love is love and if you are lucky and blessed enough to find it, it shouldn't matter what form it is in.

Lucky couldn't have said it better. I am so sry hon, you don't deserve to have to go through that type of drama. Yes, I agree a heart to heart is definently in order. Good luck hon and don't worry, be happy!

Dai, i know where you are coming from, my baby girls godmoms just got married in august. it was a beautiful ceremony, i wish they would download the video but they won't. Because one of them still hasn't not come out to her family. she feels they are old old old school and would not be accepting of it.mind you she has never been with a man. i say the pain in her eyes on her wedding day wishing her family would have been there. they have been together 13 yrs. it was truly heartbreaking to know that on the happiest day of her life, she had no family members to share it with.

My point is speak with your mothers as a couple. let them know you could not control who won your heart. you would really want them to be happy for you, but, if they truly cannot its ok. they will still be your moms and you will continue to love them for it. but it will NOT deter you from getting married.

You would think when it's so hard to find someone you truly feel connected to that the ones closest to us give us the most grief. I raised my kids but I've always been very accepting of their choices. I have & had to even though I might have had reservations. I had raised them to make up their own minds & I have to respect that. I always told them I don't care if you bought home an alien, as long as that alien is good to you then it's fine with me.

Yes consuelo, my mother has taught all of us the same thing. the only thing she has told all of our mates is "Just remember she will always be MY daughter. the day I find out that you even think of raising your hand to her, just know it will be the last" my older sister is gay, i am with some one out of my ethnic background, my brother also dates out of our ethnic background, so we have heard many negative things. bu8t our parents will tell any one " are they with a dog, a fish or what? cause all we see is some one who loves them"

I'm a firm believer that everyone should find happiness, no matter the race, religion, or gender of both parties. I do agree that yall should have a heart to heart but I doubt it will make a difference. From my experience, when people are set in their ways about something, you won't be able to change their minds. They will eventually have to accept it. But you need to prepare yourselves for the possibility that this "talk" doesn't change their attitudes towards you and your FW's relationship. I would hate for you to get your hopes up. Whatever happens, whatever they say, know that you have the love of a special someone and that your special someone has your love as well and that is all that matters. Whether either of your families accept it in the long run doesn't matter because it is yall's life and you need to do what makes you happy, regardless of whether your families agree with yall.

I'm actually not hurt by any of it, because like I said I've been doing me when no one was even there to care what was doing. Plus I'm one who does not stress over what I can not control. I can't control their feelinsg or anyone elses for that matter.

I am more pissed than anything because even if she doesn't agree don't try to get my mom on your side you can feel more powerful in your convictions. My mom was doing what she needed to do and that was mind her own business and let me live MY life like she's been doing all these years.

I'm not sure if my FW would want to sit down with them because she doesn't like confrontation. As for me, I just want to keep it simple.... either support us with love & respect, or stay away on my wedding day! I'm not making it complicated at all. lol

Jlacy1987...exactly! I'm not expecting anyone to change their views. I just feel we've been together almost 10 years, I don't need any of this nonsense!

Don't you'll think it's funny that in some people's eyes they'd rather see you abused, beaten and put down by someone of the opposite sex....then respected, cared for and loved by someone of the same sex!?!?

Yes dai that is so f**king true!!!!!

Amen sista!!!

Dai I think you are completely right either they treat your relationship with respect or stay away from your wedding. I cannot believe your FW mother would try and get your mom on her side. My brother is gay and I have never once had an issue with it. As I have told every person that has asked how I can accept this its very simple I would rather see my brother happy and in love than stuck in a lie and unhappy just to keep everyone else happy. I hope that either your mother and mother in law realise that this day is important and do not intervene or they stay away. This day is for you and your FW and no one else.

Being happy no matter what is important. We here on WW support you and you FW. You both are just like us planning a wedding to the one you love.. so if your FW's mom is not happy than she doesn't need to express her imput. You and your FW happiness and love is much greater than hers of being selfish.

Man, I'm glad my life is filling enough to not care about something that just isn't my business! In all seriousness, I don't see a problem at all with homosexual relationships and it's just ridiculous to try to prevent those marriages - especially since heterosexual couples do their fair share of making a mockery of it to begin with, with the cheating and the spousal abuse. But it really isn't any of their business who you pick to be your spouse. I know that's a bit harsh because it's your guyses moms, but if either of you would be marrying someone who was exactly like the other but male, would they say anything? I doubt it. You certainly have our support here, and I hope that you and your FW will find the support you need.

Today is even funnier. The FW's mother tells me that her bestfriend is to busy worried about what other people think because her son is gay, and that she shouldn't worry about what other's think. Huh?!? what!?!?! She's giving advice!?!?

I had my FW cracking up because in one conversation she tells me that it's harder because it's two men & that two women are more acceptable, plus we don't look like 'that'. The she says that she knows people can't change unless they really want to, then she calls herslef my 'mother in law'. Again... huh!?!

We really wouldn't be going through this if her mother was not living with us temporarily. She relocated back to NYC in May and so now we are dealing with HER issues, not ours. We are fine.

It's funny how so many people are against making it legal, but even if we say we are having a 'committment ceremony' in the wedding business that dollar sign equals the same as saying a 'wedding'. This why I will keep calling it a WEDDING/MARRIGAE!!! lol

It's totally a wedding, and you will totally be married. I hate the whole debate about marriage vs. committment/partnership/whatever. If you love someone, then you love someone. Simple as that. :-)

I agree with Katie. A commitment ceremony is a wedding in my eyes.

Dai69 do you boo back in the day when I was in high school I showed a pic to my BBF(who is by the my MOH)of mom and her girlfriend my BBf ask me if my mom was gay I said yes she just looked at me I told her if my mom was a hooker,druggie she would still be my mom and I love her unconditionally what I'm trying to saying is no matter what happens your FMIL will still have a daughter who is gay either she can accept it or let it go but if she let it go it's her lost because not only is losing a daughter but a beautiful DIL you and FW be there for one another don't let know one get in between of your happiness and after the wedding we want to see lots of pics be bless

Your tolerance is what will keep you blessed. You tolerate ignorace and have the good head about you to ignore it. Keep doing that and it will be all good.