And so it begins. Are we being thoughtless and rude not providing transp?

I agree with Stephanie. I don't think you're rude for not offering transportation.

Heck, I guess I'm being super rude because I couldn't find or make a hotel block within 20 miles of my venue and I'm not providing transportation. I just put on my wedding website where people could stay and made suggestions on the best way to get there. Our venue is 2 miles from our house but 1.5 hrs from 3 major cities (it's in the middle of nowhere).

I agree with everyone else. Figuring out transportation is not that big of a deal. Post on your website numbers of cabs and whatever, but let your guests figure it out. Most people know or can find out how to rent a car if the cab options are too expensive. Have them carpool with each other and split the costs either way.

I never expect transportation when I attend weddings. They are nice, but def not required by the couple. It's fine if you do t provide transportation. They are adults, they can work it out themselves.

Don't make this your problem. Tell them "No" and maybe provide some cab phone numbers. They are adults, I don't know why people feel so entitled to everything these days.

This is ridiculous! If people are coming in from out of town (which presumably they are, or they wouldn't need hotel rooms), they have to have some way of getting to the hotel in the first place--driving to the location, or just getting a rental car from the airport. So they can use that same car to get to your wedding.

Believe it or not, even with my small wedding and restaurant reception (37 peoole including us) people are asking us the same and putting pressure on us about it....even our wedding party. I have just said, we looked into it and we just cant swing over $700." This followed the comment from my MOH..."what about hair and make up" Even we are going to be cabing it after the reception. My Mom and Step Dad are driving us, in their escalade, from the church to the reception and then we will be carless. As far as hair and make up, Im doing my own and suspect, unless you want to pay for it, you will be doing the same. Geezus.

I LIVE in Salem, MA and it does get crazy that time of year. If most of your guests are from the area, they should understand. Honestly, Uber may be more affordable than a cab company, too. And your guests can definitely carpool, like you suggested. You should never feel guilty about when your wedding is. I would certainly never expect a couple to pay for my transportation to their wedding!

I've never had anyone drive me anywhere unless I was in the bridal party. I've driven myself. 20 minutes isn't to bad- I think the last one I went to was over 30- from church to hotel to reception (there was like 2 hrs of down time between easily- miserable.)

I just have to say HOW CUTE!!!! FH asked to you to ask WW...

And also, I have yet to be to a wedding that provides transportation (especially if you took the time to explain on your website why the hotel is 20 min away). You are planning EVERYTHING else, you're feeding them, and giving them a good time. They'll figure out transportation!

And a Halloween-ish wedding?? In Salem???? So awesome!!!!!!!!! (We're big Halloween fans over here )

"Uber is a great invention"

They will be able to find their own way. I think that giving out the number of cab companies is a great idea. I am sure people can share cabs to cut their costs down.

How were all these people planning to get to the hotel in the first place? It seems like most would have either driven their own vehicles, carpooled or rented a car anyway.

I agree, they're adults. If they can't function as such, don't come.

I'm with Nicole. Anymore, one is doing everything but wiping their guests ass.

It's ridiculous. Weddings are expensive as it is with catering/alcohol. Welcome bags and transportation is above and beyond. With the exception of one cousin, the OOT guests belong to my FMIL. I personally don't think they should waste their time and money coming to my afternoon luncheon reception.

@Mrs.Cheapskate, love your profile name by the way. I am at the point where I am constantly asking myself where does the money wheel stop? I can't believe even your smaller guest list is asking about transportation, what are the odds with that many people? Geesh. Yeah everybody pretty much expects everything.

@BetsyFaye - I know, it was a cute moment when FH asked me to ask WW what they thought. I'm not having the wedding IN Salem, but like the next town or 2 over. Close enough apparently. About a 15-20 minute ride to Salem I am thinking. I'm not really having a Halloween-ish wedding, although I LOVE Halloween, fave time of the year, and I often refer to it as my favorite holiday, or certainly in the top 2 favorites. I am having a Fall-ish wedding though. I might have some white decorated pumpkins, but I don't know if I want to put the time, money and focus into them.

I am also with Nicole! Ridiculous! We have choice of chicken or filet mignon on our rsvp cards and ppl are asking: "Is the chicken boneless?" So many details ...

We came down the same way it sounds like you have - no transportation, they're adults. I am going to set up a google doc where people can find others to carpool with. It'll take me 5 minutes and assuage my guilt for much longer

OP did you check the two Hiltons on route 1 (near Sonic) in Peabody? I don't think they have two night minimums ever. Rates are $149-190 normally. They aren't bad.

Your guests should be able to adult enough to call a cab. Or Uber. Or carpool.

ETA: I do not think you are rude for not providing transpo.

I guess I'm alone in saying that I'd definitely provide transportation if I was in your situation, which is basically the same as mine! We've actually got 2 different hotels to stop at, which further complicates things, but it was really important to both me and FH to have shuttles. We really want people to take full advantage of the open bar, and have as unrestricted a night as possible, so it's worth the extra time and effort for us. I've actually never been to a wedding where transportation wasn't provided; it's always really appreciated, but I would certainly have no problem figuring it out for myself. Of course, as a guest I'd rather not spend $60 on a cab there and back, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I certainly don't think it's rude at all not to provide it, but you just need to understand that it will probably affect how late people stay and how much they drink, which tends to determine the tone at the end of the night.

ETA: OP, I just saw your "is the chicken boneless?" comment -- that is totally insane and not normal lol

Op, I've been struggling with the same thing. Our venue actually recommended we provide transportation. Our venue is 10 minutes from the hotel. It's a brewery and we will have open bar, but that fact shouldn't make our guests less able to adult. At the time they recommended it, I thought it was a cool idea. Then I started looking into costs and if our hotel had a shuttle (6 person). It all just adds up. I'm probably going to end up with the same conclusion you have and not do it. I've only been to one wedding before with provided transportation via a hotel shuttle and we didn't even use it. Your guests seem particularly demanding if they are asking about if the chicken is boneless!

I agree with the special snowflakes comment.

Our venue was at a hotel. I only considered hotels or places where guests could stay. 52 rooms were booked there - only about 5 were for people out of town. The rest wanted the convenience of staying over, with a reception ending at 11:30 and 5 hours of open bar; we got them a fairly discounted rate, too.

Other guests stayed in hotels in the downtown (small) city, all within a few blocks from our venue. Whether they got a room a few dollars cheaper, or had a coupon, or other discounts, I don't know. If someone would have asked for a shuttle to drive a few blocks, when they could have walked, I would have screamed. (We also provided free valet parking).

I went to another family wedding where a shuttle was paid for and provided, for the room block hotel with the most people staying, but less than half the guests used it. Some wanted to drive themselves, not wait for the shuttle to return, had a family member under 21 to drive etc. I'm sure the hosts considered it a waste of money.