Am i wrong?

As a member of the Wedd

As the member of the Wedding Party, since they have a job to do the day of the wedding, you should allow them to bring their children and a plus one.

View Quoted Comment

Even if its adult only? Other bridal party members were okay with not bringing their children.

Thats fine, but I just dont want them at the rehearsal dinner, church ceremony, or bridesmaid brunch. The child can come the reception.

I wouldn't be in someone's wedding party if I couldn't bring my child to the wedding. Think of all the regular bridal party expenses, plus a babysitter? No, I'll pass.

I definitely would not leave my 2 year old for 4 days for someone else's wedding. 2 year olds aren't well behaved, generally. It's a developmental stage. I doubt the child is a terror. Of course she wants her mother- separation anxiety is a big deal.

We did invite children to our wedding.

Honestly I wouldn't leave my young children for 4 days unless they were with trusted family members. I def know a friend my age couldn't handle it for that long! My children are very well behaved but they are also wild & crazy & testy because that is the age they're at!

View Quoted Comment

Thanks!

but 2 things you mentioned:

1) You wouldnt agree to be a bridesmaids if you knew you couldnt bring your kid: She knew 1 YEAR AGO that it was No kids wedding. The wedding is in 18 days.

2) 2 year olds aren't well behaved: EXACTLY..... thats what I dont want her at the ceremony or rehearsal.

View Quoted Comment

Her sister, whom she lives with and has a 10 year old has offered. And again, yes her kid is wild & testy.

But I understand your position. Thank you for your perspective.

Didn't she know this going in, though? I can dig if you sprung this on her after she bought a flight and a dress but this was something she knew. I think she had multiple opportunities to politely decline or work something out months ago but is working a guilt angle now. I think limiting the child to just the reception is about as much as you should do.
Also, while most 2 year olds are a handful I'm gonna take your word for it that this one is particularly difficult. Plan for the worst and hope for the best.

View Quoted Comment

Thanks.

Yes, she brought her ticket in Feb but since the child is 2 she was able to add a lap seat for free last night.

I paid for her ticket and she reimbursed me. I was wondering why I rcvd an email from United last night, bc she already added her daughter without asking.

Its great to be able to vent here.

View Quoted Comment Maybe see if her sister will come with her & only go to the reception with both kids??? If that's an option? I should clarify I w ouldnt leave my kids for 4 days with anyone except mine or my fiances parents... we are going to Nashville for our Bach parties but my fiances mom & my dad are taking turns watching the kids each for 2 & a half days at our house where they are comfortable ( we have a 2 year old (terror) in your opinion even tho he's super well behaved for the most part he def has his moments he is still learning & a 10 month old. I get why you don't want her kid at the ceremony but maybe make it open to the reception if she wants to be able to make sure her kids ok

View Quoted Comment Actually, a flight attendant just told me that 2 is the cutoff for a lap baby. This decision may be made by that.

& I'm not talking down to you just really want to make sure you are not telling her her child is a terror....some really are. I have a friend I will not go out to eat or in public with her or her daughter because her daughter will throw food all over the restaurant, run around screaming, anything really it's super embarrassing! But I just tell her let's do something at one of our houses before saying her kid is a terror. Single moms have it rough!

View Quoted Comment

Her friend is making the trip with her and she said that her friend can watch her daughter. Which is between her and friend.

But she is getting upset that her friend cant watch her daughter at the actually rehearsal or brunch venue. I KNOW her kid, if her mother is around she will want to be with her mom. So i said she will have to watch her at the hotel or somewhere else, that is when she got upset.

The kid can come to the reception, we are okay with making that exception.

View Quoted Comment Yes. You are asking a favor for someone to be in your wedding party. Because it has duties on the day-of, you should allow them to bring their children (or provide a babysitter on-site) and a plus one (if the don't have a SO. Our wedding is an adults only wedding with exception of the wedding party members children (not just wedding party children) and internationally travelling children). We took it a step further and are providing a nanny service and two kid rooms at the venue (we are renting out a mansion). Also, ALL wedding party members get a plus one regardless of relationship (but not all single guests).

View Quoted Comment

Terror may have been extreme. I dont have any kids so all 2 year old can seem like terrors...kidding.

View Quoted Comment Ahhh ok I guess I misread.

View Quoted Comment Lol if you don't have any they def all can seem that way If you catch them at the right time!

View Quoted Comment Did you tell her that it was a no kids wedding INCLUDING wedding party members when you asked her? If not, and she was told later, maybe she tried to make arrangements to come sans child or didn't want to withdraw out of a commitment over such an issue.

None of my bridesmaids had their kids at our wedding, and they all travelled. However, had it been a choice between having them at the wedding and having them have to bow out because of child care, I would have obviously opted for their children to be invited.

If you are worried about other family members being mad that her kid is there while theirs isn’t, can you make the little girl your flower girl ? Have her walk down the aisle with her mom.

View Quoted Comment

We are allowing her kid to come to the reception. But I have a problem with the bridesmaid brunch and rehearsal dinner.

I agree we are asking her a favor to be in our wedding. Thank you,