Alcohol- No great story started with a salad

I believe at my aunt's wedding, they had to stock their own bar, BUT it was tended to by a bartender. No one was making their own drinks or anything like that. It was also an open bar as well.

It depends on the venue, however.

My venue includes an open bar for the entire reception. They do allow us to bring anything additional to serve without any corking or pouring fees.Its easier for us because we don't have to try and figure out how much per person to buy and all the Whatnots

@Jenna it has really been helpful for me. I'll post in my BAM in few weeks how it all works out LOL

Well I'm from a small town where people take their own alcohol everywhere anyway. we aren't having a huge wedding, maybe 150 or so. I do not think a cash bar or BYOB Is a bad idea. In today's world most people live pay check to pay check and aren't loaded. If they don't want to drink they don't have too. I guess it comes down to own choices. We aren't trying to impress our close friends and family. They love us with or with or without free booze. Lol

Amanda, that's nice. Doesn't make it any less tacky though.

150 IMO is not small LOL but that's me. I'm definitely not loaded but at the same time even before WW confirmed I knew I had to serve some type alcohol to my guest because I know my crowd and most will expect it. It's really not about money it's about hosting guest properly. It makes sense to have alcohol like why throw this expensive party for people to become bored and leave early.

I am. Had a private DW and am having a reception with around 80 people on Nov 4. My venue is owned by the city parks dept and was super cheap, so it has pretty much no rules when it comes to alcohol. I am providing my own and used an online alcohol calculator and my caterers suggestions to know how much to get. Online suggests 1 drink per person per hour and my caterer suggested 1.5 pp per hour so I am doing 2 drinks pp per hour. I just would be horrified if I ran out bc I've been to weddings like that and I will never forget them. Too much is always better than not enough!

But that's the thing. Maybe 30 or so of our 150 will drink. If that. Most aren't big drinkers if they drink at all. And just because one person thinks it's tacky doesn't mean it is for someone else. And we are having some alcohol just not a lot. I also thought the point of this page was to help each other, give friendly advice and kinda a support system type thing? Guess I was wrong, but then I'm also tacky too!

Note, I didn't call you tacky, just your idea. Important distinction here because one is against the rules and one isn't.

This isn't a support group.

ETA: Etiquette also isn't person-specific. It's the same for everyone.

Well it seems pretty counter productive to provide alcohol but only enough for some IMO. I say either go all in or don't

We are providing our own alcohol and having licensed bartenders serve it

We are getting a few kegs, and having wine. And putting on our invites that we are having kegs and if your a picky drinker (like the groom) feel free to bring something that better suites you. My side are all beer drinkers and FHs fathers side like their liquor and his mothers doesnt drink so, it works out. Wording isnt perfect yet but along those lines.

Like @kiandra said, pinterest has several charts and if your venue allows it, I would shop around at a few liquor stores. Costco does bulk liquor for events as well as Binnys etc. Just ask them what they think is a reasonable amount also. And my best advice is to find a place that allows you to return any unopened bottles or cases and get money back for them, that way you can buy more than you expect to use JUST IN CASE (:

I didn't want to deal with the areas with having to figure out how much to bring, getting a license, getting bartenders etc.

We did it and spent about 300 and had some left over.

FSS, no BYOB. No venue is going to allow that because of liability, it's rude AF, and it's another avenue for confusion and chaos.

If I was invited to a BYOB wedding, I'd pass on the whole thing.

Some venues will allow it here; women's clubs, etc, where you bring in your own caterer, but most provide their own alcohol, bartenders and glassware.

@Amanda; No. I tacky. It's called being a bad host.

If your paycheck to paycheck lifestyle won't allow for offering your guests drinks, then you have too many of them. Don't blame it on a small town; blame it on poor planning. Even if one person drinks, you should offer something for them.

For the record, one of my favorite parts of our first date story starts with a salad and I think it's pretty fucking great.

It is cheaper, especially if you buy from a place that lets you return any unopened bottles. It Also depends on how many mixers and garnishes you want.

Cheyenne that's kinda what we are doing. A keg and then a few popular liqueurs.

Also it must depend on where you live. Because I'm not from an area where there are just licensed bartenders for hire everywhere.

And almost every venue here allows you to bring in your own alcohol. I don't think it's tacky to tell people if they want something else to bring their own. Nor do I think it's being a bad host.

I will say I just started using this forum yesterday and I have learned a lot of things really must be where you are from. It's common here to bring your own. But I'm also from a town with one red light and we just got a McDonald's a couple years ago haha. We are pretty laid back and help each other with things. These weddings where I see people spending ten thousand dollars and up are on heard of here.

So my conclusion is you do you! Do what's best for you and your FH. I ask on Facebook after this post and did a poll. No one thought it was bad. Most said that's what they are use too. Some of you all would really turn your noses up down here, we also have pot lucky weddings I will keep my small town life.

Wow! Talk about a mean girl. Some of you are just mean and rude. What gives you the right to judge others? You can give your thoughts with out being so mean and rude. Did you ever stop to think that maybe someone may not have the money you have? Or that maybe they are choosing to use it in a different area of the wedding. Or maybe just maybe they have bills, and real adulthood things to worry about also.