Discouraged about weight for wedding

Girl, I feel you!!! I always thought I was ugly and just awful, and I had gained a lot of weight since college. My FH has always told me that I'm gorgeous, and it took me a lot of time to try and see what he sees. And after we started dating, i was finally able to relax and enjoy just being myself. I didn't even care what I looked like hanging around in my sweats, which is my FH's favorite look.



Now, I went through a health scare last July. I was miserable, I was anxious all the time, my body was crying out that something was wrong but I didn't know what. And this may be tmi, but it had been months since my last period - I was so heavy that my pcos was working hard. I didn't care what I looked like, but I was so heavy that my heart was working over time and my blood sugar was in the 300s regularly. As a general rule, you want it at 170 or below usually.

My doctor took one look at me and said I had to change. I cut my carbs, I haven't had sodas since that talk, and I only eat sweets in moderation if my sugar allows it at the end of the day. As a result, my sugar is in check and my weight has melted off. I didn't even notice though. It was more important to me to be healthy than to worry about the number on the scale.
My point is, you are beautiful. Everyone can yell you that, but until you accept yourself at the weight you are, you will always hate the image in the mirror. It is a million times more important for you to feel healthy and good no matter what extra weight you have. Being a bride makes us all self evaluate more, but maybe we should all see it more as a celebration of who we are, not the flaws we all see.
My point is, you are gorgeous as you are. If anyone needs to talk about it, let them. Own your day girl. You are who you are, and there's no need to apologize for it. Lose weight for you and your health. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much! I almost teared up reading this comment. I really appreciate your words

Girl, I feel almost the same as you most days and sometimes am already disappointed about my wedding photos because imagine I'm going to look awful. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself and lose some weight if you want to. But know that your man loves you and try to begin to love yourself too. It's not easy and those days for me are few and far between, dont get me wrong. If there is someone who thinks otherwise of you than they are not worthy of coming! Any body changes should be for you and no one else! You are beautiful and deserve all the happiness! Try and remember that in the tough times! Get a beautiful dress and rock it and have an amazing day!

I’m an older bride. When I was younger I was a heavy bride that had limited dress selection. I didn’t want that to happen again. I joined weight watchers before we even started planning the wedding my fiancé told me he loved me just the way I was and I truly believe it. I’m 60 years old and decided it was more for my health but the whole wedding day pictures still keeps in my head. I plan on keeping it off and losing more after wedding. I’ve always been the fat aunt, fat friend, etc. But that doesn’t define me. I’m also the caring friend, the supportive coworker and a great fur mama. Don’t let your weight define you. You’re so much more.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!! That’s my goal!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I’m trying to get better at that mindset.

Sometimes it’s easier to add things in versus cutting things out. Start small by trying to drink more water, add in an extra serving or fruits or vegetables, or try to go on a short walk each day. It’s much more manageable than beating yourself up and trying to deprive yourself of things. Also remind yourself you are not your weight, your fiancé loves you for who you are!

View Quoted Comment You're welcome! We all have those moments, and I catch myself berating myself for eating something even when my sugar is ok. Buuuut your day is for you and your fiance! You take care of yourself, and everything else will follow.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm not comfortable in my body at all either. I don't believe my FH when he tells me he loves it either even though he's in the same boat. I keep telling myself that I want to lose weight but it's definitely a challenge and we both fail miserably going back on our word so many times.

If you want to lose the weight then do it for yourself and no one else. If there's no change by the time your wedding day rolls around, just remember you're getting married to the man that loves you and that's all that matters. Everyone else's thoughts and comments will never change the love your FH has for you. Hold on to that.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I just want to be better for me and for him

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Yea, I understand. We're going to try it again and you know, more power to you for wanting to be better. We keep saying that and then it goes out the window lol but we're going to try it again. Hopefully it'll be more of a serious realization for the both of us when my dress comes in and I try it on for the first time lol.

So what if you are fat? Physical appearance is just one aspect of a person and even if yours doesn’t match up with your husbands that certainly does not make him out of your league. Surely there are many wonderful qualities about you that make you just as lovable and desirable as your husband. For example, I would rather spend my years with someone who is kind, funny, and has a good attitude over someone who is “hot”. I highly recommend working on a way to love yourself and appreciate that physical beauty is not the best or only way to measure a person. Learning and accepting those things will get you much further, in terms of confidence, than a diet will.

I understand you completely & at times I have felt the same. You are beautiful & you are going to make such a gorgeous bride! I find it helpful to focus on one habit at a time, instead of each habit all at once.

Keep focusing on the man who loves you just the way you are, and use that to keep your spirits up! I have also been trying to diet to improve my health, and my fiance's support has totally kept me going. I know that even if I don't meet my weight goals, I still have the love of my fiance and God, and that keeps me from just giving up. If your fiance is up for it, maybe ask if he will help you break those bad habits by choosing one thing to do with you. Having him join your journey could bring you closer and make him feel more empowered to support you.

I find Weight Watchers to be an easy to follow/maintain lifestyle. It helps make slow, meaningful changes that are sustainable!

So many of us have been right there with you! I gained 30+ pounds in college due to falling into bad eating habits. I had never been the skinny or pretty girl in my friend group either.

It can be really daunting to see where you want to be and figuring out how to get there.

The way to start is to make little, sustainable changes. I found that cutting out whole food groups like sweets never worked for me. I would go without eating them for a week or so and then just ate WAY too many after not allowing myself to have any. I started eating everything in moderation and working out a day or two per week. Like PP said, cutting soda out helps a lot. I cut out soda when I was in 7th grade and haven't missed it since. Finding an activity that you enjoy will make you want to show up for it whether it is walking, exercise bikes, hiking, etc. After college, I started by working out at Planet Fitness. It was just ok for me so I didn't have a major drive to go. When I joined a kickboxing gym, working out became fun and I wanted to show up!

For me, meal prepping helps SO much. I spend a few hours meal prepping each Sunday, then I have meals that I can just grab and pop in the microwave for the rest of the week! It helps avoid the convenience of fast food because I already have convenient healthy meals at home. I have found healthier recipes for things I enjoy on Pinterest so I don't get bored with my meal prep.

The most important thing is regardless of whether you do lose weight or not, you are beautiful and will be a stunning bride! Your FH loves you for you. All of your guests will be there to celebrate your love for each other. Nobody worth your time and energy should be tearing you down with comments about your body!

Those are some pretty compelling conspiracy theories about yourself. However, thats all they are. Youre really beautiful, with really nice eybrows might I add. No one that comes to your wedding will be thinking or hoping anything like that, because people who love people just dont do that.

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Aww thank you! I suppose I do know you are right, sometimes I just forget to love myself.

Do not let diet culture rule how you feel about yourself! But also you are allowed to want to make changes if you are unhappy and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty if you do want to loose weight. Let's be real for a second, do YOU want to loose weight for yourself or because you feel like your husband/family/friends won't love you otherwise? If the answer is for yourself by all means go for it, however loosing weight is a choice that you have to stick with daily. This is not meant to discourage you, but encourage you that even if you do not see immediate change but you are truly making an effort to stick with it. Growing up I had always been involved with health/fitness activities. I was always put in sports, my family owned gyms, we always ate healthy (even our "junk food" was healthy) and then I graduated high school and no one forced me into sports. I didn't force myself to go to the gym. No one forced me to make healthier choices. I did what I want. And to be honest I lost my sense of self. I didn't even recognize the person in the mirror. It was then I realized I wanted to do this for ME not because someone told me I had to. I started working out and lifting weights, if I didn't want to do cardio I didn't. I started eating intuitively instead of labeling food as "good" and "bad" I made changes that still allowed me to live my normal life without feeling guilty all the time or restricting myself. You are allowed to have both!

Girl, same! Ive gained quite a bit of weight since being with my FH, and I'm dreading everything dealing with my body for the wedding. I won't even go dress shopping yet and my wedding is in November. I also don't want to anyone with me when I try them on. Ive also canceled our engagement photos twice now because I don't want to see myself in pictures. I ordered beach body on demand and have been working out using the 21 day fix program a few days a week. Its helping, but I still have anxiety about it.
However, our thoughts, as rational as we think they are, are so irrational! You are going to look beautiful on your wedding day and that is the 100% truth!! Our bodies are perfect as they are, and we need to be nicer to ourselves. Good luck on your wedding, you're gonna look great!