Disclose Dry Wedding and No Dancing?

Kelly, you say it's your dad's said that would want these things so are you saying it's 1/4 of guests that would care? Or half? Like each of your parents count as a side so between you and your fiancé you have four sides? Or your entire side of the family would care and there are two sides between you and your fiancé?

Wait - I have baptist family and they dance...is this really a baptist thing??

to answer your question though - word of mouth should be fine!

@m-Nope. I live in MO. Its ok, I knew asking this, the response I would get. Just wanted to know how to word it.

We are not hosting at the Casino, but, a lot of our family likes to gamble. (I know, its an odd group, No drinking, no dancing, but bingo and Casino, we are all over that.)

I will do word of mouth. For the wedding, we are having a buffet catered lunch. Then cake.

My FBIL's wedding at a Church of Latter Day Saints also did not allow dancing or alcohol. We had dinner and left right after. I think just word of mouth of an after party at the casino is enough.

@Ninjaaa, my MOH's in laws are Baptist. They will not even come to a party if alcohol is present. In some cases, providing alcohol would actually be very bad and exclude a whole side of the family potentially. Some people's families celebrate different and if you aren't in that type of family, the concept can be hard to grasp.

Hosting a party, i wouldn't want anyone to be uncomfortable. I would rather someone be bored than be highly uncomfortable. With that being said, there are ways to make it not so boring for people that would prefer alcohol and dancing.

My FH is inviting his Mothers side of the family. Not his fathers.

I am inviting my Fathers side of the family. Not my mothers.

So, we have about 100 guests. We are a little older group. On my Dads side of the family, he has 5 brothers/sisters, and they are a little more alcohol/weed friendly.

Put the information on your website. Your reception is short. After eating and cutting the cake the whole thing will be over anyway so it doesn't matter if people leave early.

Yes, be sure to let everyone know so they can pack roadies and flasks in their bags.

I think it would be good to mention in the invitations that you will be celebrating afterwards at the casino, so people know that's where to go if they want to party after your wedding. I would also recommend doing a little something for the folks who come to the casino, like giving out a few drink tickets, game cards, snacks.

I agree don't include it on the invitation. Use a wedding website and/or word of mouth. @VM made a good suggestion of making it clear that you aren't hosting a "after party" but just saying like hey we will be here if you want to join us.

Ah gotcha. Spread it by word of mouth, have a short and sweet reception, go gamble. Sounds like a solid day.

What Jeanne said. I've been to all kinds of weddings and some have been dry- IMO if the invitation says a baptist church or a church of any kind of I would at least suspect that it's non- alcoholic, and I'd wonder about dancing as well.

I imagine that not every one is going to stick around all night or go to the after party, but often at wedding people leave early to send the babysitters home, or dancing and drinking just isn't their thing. IMO you're actually making it more comfortable for people from different walks of life. giving them options.

I go to a wedding to wish the couple well and share in their day. if nothing else, I have fun visiting with those I know and/or meeting new people. I don't expect a wedding to be the way it would be if I got to pick and choose everything.when you have guests with very different tastes and beliefs from each other that can be a real challenge. just do your best to have a good wedding and try to make everything fun.

Celia makes a very valid point, Kelly. I know you're not going to budge on this, but you do have to be accountable for your choices. If you have one entire side of the event that would enjoy a cocktail and dancing, they're going to realize that you're catering to the other side of the family that doesn't want it (clause or not, you could have had the reception elsewhere). I won't lie to you -- some of them are going to be bored, but that goes with the territory. The fact that you and FH attended a Black and White Ball and had a great time only dancing to two songs means nothing to those in your family who may enjoy dancing.

Anyway, if you having a two hour reception, I think you could get the dry/no dancing message across on your invitation. Instead of saying, "reception immediately following", write:

"Wedding Luncheon with Refreshments to Follow.

Tripping the Light Fantastic Church

1:00 PM to 3:00 PM"

As for the after-party? Maybe it's just me, but I would feel a little weird asking people if they wanted to attend a casino after having just hosted a wedding that precluded standard elements based on religious prohibitions. But, that's up to you. Let them know you're going, and let them know you're not paying. Some may assume you are paying after such a short, sedate reception.

Kelly, you are not being rude-- expecting your host to entertain you the way you want is rude. Hosting the party you want. And nowhere is it written that a wedding reception MUST include alcohol or dancing. You will be just as married without it, which is, in fact, the purpose of a wedding.

Having a dry wedding is not against etiquette

Not having dancing is not against.

Having a short afternoon wedding is not against etiquette.

Someone please explain to me, why what the OP is doing is wrong. The reception will be short. By the time they take pictures and eat it will be over. IMO people will not be there long enough to be bored. It may not be my taste but I don't see a problem with it.

I'm sorry, but some of these comments are ridiculous. Kelly does not have to host the style of event that her guests want. Not every wedding is a party with dancing and alcohol. An afternoon reception from 1-3pm does not seem conducive to dancing anyway. Short and sweet with some lunch and refreshments and everyone goes home. That's allowed. Every wedding is not on a Saturday night at a banquet hall with a DJ, dancing and open bar. Yes, some guests may not be as thrilled with that style of reception, but it's not their choice. They aren't the hosts. A dry wedding may not be as fun, but it's not against etiquette.

There is nothing rude about not having the wedding reception that your guests are wanting you to have. I've been at weddings where the couple spent money for a DJ and open bar, and no one danced. The reception didn't run late and everyone somehow coordinated together to go to a bar down the street afterward, and no one complained about the lack of dancing.

I wouldn't put it on the invitation, because you don't have to "disclose" anything. Having an optional after party meet up type thing lets anyone who wants to party with you do so, and the people who just wanted to be with you on your day can go home after. I don't often make it a point to get loaded during the day, so I would completely understand the lack of alcohol at your daytime event.

I dont agree that she is "shunning and being rude to half of her guests). She has chosen the type of wedding and reception she wants and has chosen to have a dry wedding. If they wish not to attend, they can decline the invite. I would put "lunch reception to follow at "name of place". That tells them it will be dry for the most part. If they cant make it 2 hours during lunch, without booze, they have a major problem. She is doing exactly what you all tell people to do if they want a dry wedding. Have an early wedding, a luncheon and cake and call it a day. As far as the afterparty, Im not sure how you plan to do that, since once everyone hits the casino floor they will scatter. You could tell people to join you if they like (per VMDizzle) but say we will meet you in the bar area at such and such a time. I was able to skip the reception card completely by putting "Dinner reception 5:30pm at (name of restaurant) and the address. We are not having dancing at our restaurant reception either due to size restrictions of the room. We are having an after party and have just mentioned it to our friends who we would like to have join us.

I CAN make it two hours through a wedding without booze, but do I WANT to do make it two hours without booze at a wedding? I'm so much more fun with a martini.

I don't have any advice but I am so confused. I went to a Baptist church (I'm not sure if it was a division of Baptist but the sign DEFINITELY said Baptist!) and it was all singing and dancing!!! Super loud music, dancing in the pews, etc. It was totally crazy for me because I grew up in the Catholic church and our mass is more quiet and I guess the word to describe it would be rigid. When I went to the Baptist church, it was fun, wild and energetic... I remember asking my mom why our church wasn't like that.. haha.