Disappointments

Aw I’m so sorry to hear about that. I hope everything else works out for yoh

View Quoted Comment I hope it will but at this point I would hardly be surprised if my other vendors cancelled on me too. The wedding is a month away and I’m terrified of being left high and dry because that’s what seems to be happening left and right lately.

I'm so sorry. I completely understand how you feel. Having wedding plans fall through sucks!


In my experience with my own wedding disaster, giving yourself a set time to be disappointed/sad/frustrated and then moving to damage control or other planning is helpful. Also giving yourself time off with your fiance to destress. Keep your eye on the prize: being married

Planning a wedding during a pandemic is mostly stress and disappointment, I totally get it. Let yourself feel sad about the disappointments, and when you’re ready focus on the fact that you found the person you want to spend your life with. Every bride planning for 2020 has had to compromise, figure out back up plans, Move to plan c, plan d... and make the difficult decision to continue or to postpone/cancel their big wedding. It’s okay to be disappointed with how things are turning out, it’s okay to feel sad, angry, let down, etc, but don’t lose sight of the reason you’re going through this in the first place. If you need to cry about it, cry, cry until you have no more tears to cry, I’ve been there. I’m sorry we are all going through this, bit there’s no one else I’d rather weather a pandemic with than my FH. Good luck, I hoped things start looking up for you soon.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the kind words. I feel like once I finally dust myself off after crying and stressing over one disappointment and hasty solution, another disaster happens. What is making me so unlucky.... or rather, why are people cancelling on me when the wedding is just around the corner instead of months ago???

View Quoted Comment 2020 brides seem to be lacking luck in the planing department. But lucky in the relationship department!

View Quoted Comment I echo this. This group has been helpful to me, both as an amusing time suck sometimes and also a community of people who get it. I don't talk wedding with anyone but BM, my partner and WW.


OP I hope you're able to grieve what's happening and then get to someplace that you feel okay about this wedding. We're all in the boat.

I'm very sorry, that sounds incredibly frustrating. Did they give a reason for cancelling on you?

Hang in there. I know how hard it is. The last month before my wedding felt almost miserable, because it felt like nothing was going right. Planning in general is hard. Planning during this pandemic is VERY hard. I promise it will be worth it and your day will feel “perfect” despite the rocky road it takes to get there. Try to work as a team with your fiancé and problem solve together the best you can. Lean on each other and try to be patient with each other in how you both deal with the stress of it all. You’re in the home stretch!

That’s really hard. I would ask the musician and folk dance leader if they have anyone they could recommend to replace themselves. I work in that business and if I had to cancel, I would try to find a replacement the best I could!

So sorry! That sounds rough. Take time to grieve and do whatever self-care you need for mental health. Then work on an alternate plan. You'll get past the bumps in the road and the sun shining through the rainclouds is getting married to your best friend regardless of anything else.

View Quoted Comment Thank you.

View Quoted Comment My sisters are very musical and understand how to dance but they’ve never led dances before. I’m going to have a zoom meeting with the friend of mine who is a professional folk violinist (the musician who cancelled) and she is going to show us how to lead dances. My sisters can make it work. It won’t be what I wanted but I’m going to make it work come hell or high water. I really want this folk dance.

View Quoted Comment It’s true. I just need to sit and cry about it for a little bit and then just get up again and find a solution. I can do this...

View Quoted Comment My musician (who originally was going to lead the dance too) said it was because she wanted to visit her parents and they could only do one trip due to being quarantined by law for two weeks after being out of state (I’m in WI and she is from Boston). The thing is she said she would do this for us in like feb or March, and just cancelled in August. So that’s what’s really maddening. And then my friend WAS the plan B and acted like she could do it, but last night said she couldn’t get work off. So I’m just really annoyed.

If you think it’s a matter of people deliberately letting you down, you really ought to sit down and reevaluate what’s going on in the grand scheme of things. There is a Pandemic and a few months ago we didn’t know we would be in the state we are currently in. Understanding that much and understanding that people are genuinely concerned about the safety and well being of themselves and others is important. Don’t be so hard on yourself, this isn’t just about you and the day you envisioned. It’s impacting a great deal of people on both sides of the wedding industry and in society.

View Quoted Comment Well It’s not so much about the pandemic being a reason. It’s that one of them committed to me in March and didn’t tell me she couldn’t until August. My wedding is in October. If she would’ve let me known sooner it wouldn’t of been so hard to replace her. And then the other one was just due to work that she couldn’t get off, after making it sound like she could come. And there have just been other roadblocks that aren’t due to Covid just due to people not prioritizing their previous commitments.
And thank you, It’s hard not to feel like people just don’t care

Woah I'm so sorry about all this! I'll definitely be sending you best wishes.

View Quoted Comment I understand your frustration and it’s hard.
But in March we didn’t expect things to escalate or get as bad as it did. Our venue was confident things would be back to normal by October but look where we are. That is why we decided to reschedule and alter our plans so people wouldn’t be in a hard spot to make a tough decision. We didn’t want our guests to feel unsafe and also didn’t want them to feel guilty to have to say yes or say no.

I get it. My reception musician canceled on me a week before my wedding. It was a friend of mine so I was very hurt and disappointed. And come to find out he was playing at a bar the next weekend after my wedding which stung a little more. We just rallied and added more songs to our playlist. This whole year and a half of planning was a roller coaster of epic proportions. From the highs of thinking everything was falling into place to the lows of people canceling and me losing my job a month before the wedding. The vast majority of things we planned for couldn't or didn't happen. But you know what? At the end of it all none of that mattered. I could list about 50 things that were forgotten or canceled or just not done. None of the guests knew. All they knew is we had a beautiful wedding and reception filled with our personalities and so much love. We were told all night and every day since that our wedding was beautiful and so much fun and the food was amazing... etc. I know it's hard not to let it get you down... take time to feel your feelings, but then remind yourself to keep moving. You got this!