Disappointed with my ring, tell him or no?

Have you ever thought about getting your own?

i mean i know that isn't ideal but i figured now a days who says you can't get your own ring aha. i chose mine completely so it was as if i got my own anyway

Hey!! So the same thing happened to me. I picked out a sapphire ring and later on I started to not like it. It started to get dirty even tho I did the same. You could tell that it was not a diamond and it would make me sad to see his siblings and their diamond rings and they would always talk about it when we would go out to eat that id just say that I had to go to the bathroom so that people wouldn’t ask me about my ring. I eventually just ended up telling him, like hey I love this ring but I have changed my mind and I really want a diamond. He was a little like ohh okay. But we ended up looking at rings and I just recently got a diamond ring and matching band and we’re getting married next month. We are paying for it each month until it is paid off, because we did not have enough money to pay for it in full. But girl, just talk to him. It is a sucky situation but trust me, it’s better that you tell him how you feel then to be upset all the time. ❤️

I think he might be offended if you told him that because he did put some thought into wearing it unless he is the type of guy who could careless about rings. I would maybe do what Melle said and buy your own if you want something to show up and maybe tell him it was an upgrade.

I would tell my fiancé but that’s just the type of relationship that we have. He would want to know if I didn’t like it, and vice versa

I would definitely suggest that you talk with your fiance. Maybe you could go pick out a new ring together before you do your engagement pictures? It is just a ring, but you also have to see it every day, and it should be one you like. Maybe have the current ring made into a necklace or use it as a right hand ring and wear the new one (if you're able to pick out a new one) as an engagement ring?

The ring my fiancé picked for me, though very petty, was completely not my style. After a few months of rarely wearing it, looking at other rings, and feeling super guilty, I finally just told him. He told me to just pick what I wanted. I love my ring now.


I say just tell him. With a ring you intend to wear every day, you want something that’s going to be able to stand up to that kind of wear - though personally I would continue to avoid sleeping with it on and especially cleaning with it on. He loves you and I’m sure he wants you to be happy.

View Quoted Comment Definitely agree with Melle here. But you know FH better than anyone so if you think it might hurt his feelings definitely talk about it first.

If he can't afford to buy an engagement ring right now without using credit and you agreed to a stand in, I don't think you should say anything. If he has comfortable savings that he is willing to spend on a ring, then say something. But, I tend to think you agreed to the stand in because you know he shouldn't be spending money on that now. Also, just remember that envy is the thief of joy and only shallow people would look down on a gift given with love. (I am speaking of the family at dinner here from another poster)

View Quoted Comment I do agree with this. While open communication is the best thing to have the majority of the time and you should be able to freely express yourself, sometimes things are best left unsaid. You mentioned you agreed to a stand-in until you both are more stable financially. An engagement ring is one of things where it's the love and sentiment behind it, not the actual ring itself.

Tell him. Since it's looking worn out, it'll be obvious you have a point and that you're not trying to upgrade for the sake of upgrading. Tell him although the ring was beautiful, it's not holding up to regular wear. You can still commit to holding out for a "real" upgrade when you're in a better place financially and get something that's durable for the interim.


You can suggest buying the same ring, but keeping the new one in the box to wear for special occasions only and the current one daily. Or you can buy a slightly more expensive ring made with real gold or silver that you don't have to worry about so much. Avoid the jewlery stores and search department stores and online retailers with good reviews. Bonus points if they offer sales and coupons! Good luck!

That sucks, I’m sorry you’re in this position. Unfortunately, you told him what you wanted - I kind of feel like you should have done a bit more research on fake/lab/non-diamonds prior to telling him that’s what you wanted. This is one scenario that I think it on you to upgrade it if you want to. But you’d still have to tell him.

Also, I have an inexpensive ring that looks similar to my e-ring that I wear when I don't want to get my real ring dirty (e.g., festivals, beach, overseas vacations). It's a Ginger Lynn ring in rose gold (fake) that I got from Amazon for $17. It holds up well; the longest I wore it was 3 weeks in a row. I sleep in it, sometimes wash my hands in it, and I've even used hand santitizer (carefully) with it. And it's cheap enough that I can just buy another one if a stone falls out or it tarnishes. Just an idea!

Just tell him with love. He’ll understand.

I can see both sides of this. I know you agreed to a stand in ring until you could afford a real one, but I am sure you also did not realize that the faux ring was going to become so visibly worn so quickly. I also understand not wanting to hurt your fiancé‘s feelings by suggesting you get another ring. But at the same time you have to wear that ring every day, and it is supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment to one another, so of course you’re going to want to like it and feel comfortable and proud to show it to people. I am assuming you both agreed on a stand in ring because it is not financially wise to buy a real diamond at this point. If that is the case, could you maybe meet in the middle? You could get the gold band with the setting you would like now, but just use cubic zirconia or glass for the jewel now, and replace it with a diamond down the road.

This is a little bit tricky because from what you’ve said, you didn’t give your fiancé specification as to what you wanted and now it has come back to bite you (I personally chose my ring because I told FH that if he was going to spend money on me, it might as well be on something I like!).

Speak to your fiancé and tell him how you feel, but I think you need to consider paying for a new ring or at the least contributing to it, particularly if finances are an issue?

Well you did tell him you’d be okay with a ‘fake’ ring until you were more stable. Technically you got what you asked for. I would try to talk to him about an alternative if it really bothers you that much. But it’s really not about the price or value of the ring, it’s the meaning behind it.


My Fiancé and I used to struggle financially, like $10 per hour each struggling. We knew we would get engaged and married one day. I was 100% okay with a ring that wasn’t a diamond so we could get engaged. I found a jeweler on Etsy that customizes vintage style engagement rings with diamonds and gemstones. I fell in love with an aquamarine ring with a halo of blue diamonds and a halo of diamonds. I showed my fiancé and he saved for it and bought it. I was so surprised and so proud of him for saving and not borrowing or using a credit card. He told me he would eventually get me a diamond ring from Tiffany’s. I told him I don’t want it. It wouldn’t mean the same. It’s not the most expensive ring but it is my ring and is something I’ll treasure forever.

I would definitely talk to him about it. Your about to marry this guy do you have to be honest girl! This sucks but needs to be done! A friend of mine purchased a lab made ring that is gorgeous & didn’t break the bank. JCPenny’s has an amazing jewelry sale going on right now too!

The Everly Rings website has a section about how to care for their rings. It may be helpful!

Have you ever looked into moissanite? It may be a good ckmpromi

Sorry accidentally sent too early. Moissanite could be a good compromise, but as cheap as CZ but way cheaper than diamond. It’s almost as hard as diamond, has amazing shine/sparkle, etc. I can post a photo of mine if you like but there are a lot of great articles and videos on YouTube.