Disappointed- so many friends not coming

Melanie, what you do in that case is push back. There is no earthly reason your venue needs numbers that early and it's rude to your guests to expect an answer that early, especially for a holiday wedding.

Our guest list was about 250, and 60%+ were out of town so we had no clue how many would actually come. The total number ended up being about 160 rsvped and I estimate about 175 showed up.

We didn't even invite a lot of H's family because his parents said they never come to anything, plus H hadn't seen or talked to them in the over 5 years we had been together.

When I was waiting for rsvps, someone on here made the point that if fewer people come, there's more room in your budget to really spoil the ones that DO come with upgraded food, etc. That really helped me when nos came in. And I really think we put together an awesome night for our guests who attended!

They get very busy around the holidays as they host a lot of weddings/family parties. My dads friend owns it and I know they are going to take great care of me, their one request was a early headcount and I really didn't see it being worth not working with them. I would rather chase people, down for RSVP's in the beginning of November instead of around Christmas, anyways.

Definitely tough. December weddings are almost impossible to go to unless they are local.

@stephanie did 15 people show up that didn't RSVP? Like you didn't know they were coming until they showed up????

@Amy Stay positive! Yes, it's sad that many of those you care for won't be there but it's also less money you have to spend for them. It is definitely okay to be disappointed, but don't let it diminish your excitement. I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful!

Yep. We had 40% attendance. We were bummed, but when the day came, it didn't matter. Enjoy those who do attend. IMO, if they don't attend it's their loss.

@Melanie B in my neck of the woods it's very common for extra people to show up. I actually don't even know the final count. Practically everyone does a buffet and has extra seats for this reason (we had seating for about 220 and food for about 200, with the rsvp of 160).

I also got a deal on catering for just over food cost, because my dad has a side business doing caterings and some of the people he works with often catered my wedding. So it wasn't super expensive for us to add in extras. But even full price it wouldn't have been more than about $15 per head, and the buffet caterers typically plan for an extra 10-20 people anyway just in case people go heavy on certain items.

@stephanie very interesting! We are doing family style so if we have anyone who slips in without an RSVP I think it would be easy to get them food, maybe I'll keep this in mind when I doing seating.

I haven't sent out the invites for the wedding yet but my little sister who is my MOH set up a Facebook event for my bridal shower and allowed me to have access so I can invite people as well. It's 2 months away and I am getting can't go after can't go with no explanation. It's very hard not to take it personally as well as trying to not let it hurt your feelings. So I definitely feel your pain. I just try to remember that I'm marrying my best friend and in the end that's all that matters! I'm really sorry you're experiencing this and I sincerely hope you have the most beautiful wedding day! Enjoy every minute because it's really just about the two of you! Good luck girl!