Disappointed- so many friends not coming

Anybody give a reason? Is it the distance? Are your friends and family non-local?

My RSVP date is in 2 days and 2/3 of my guests haven't even responded yet. My best friend since high school isn't coming because she can't afford it, my Godmother said no, two other close friends can't make it, and I'm starring to wonder if my Matron of Honour will even be there. I know how you feel, and I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. It's going to be a beautiful day, and what matters most is that you're marrying the love of your life. They'll catch up later.

It is disappointing. Just don't let it get you down. There are so many reasons why someone has to decline and all of them have nothing to do with you personally. Celebrate with those who are able to make it.

I'm so sorry. Did they give you a reason for not coming? I also wonder if they're out of town and can't afford it so close to the holidays.

Bulbasaur, why is your RSVP date 2 months before your wedding? Your invites should be going out this week. I'm going to guess the reason you haven't heard from a lot of people is because they don't know if they can make it yet, which is why you don't make your deadline so early.

Most of our friends and family are LEO or merchant marine and were unable to make the wedding. In July, it looked like we were having around 120, and due to schedules and not having reliefs, as well as it being OOT for most people, we had about half that day of. It's so disappointing to have friends you think "should" be there and makes you wonder about people's priorities, but you don't know everyone's struggles or what they have going on in their lives. It's hard not to take it personally, but don't. Ultimately, you pay less for fewer people, you will get to spend QUALITY time with those there (we got to spend time with literally every person there not just hi, love you, bye), and most importantly, UM, DUH, YOU GET TO MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND!! Our day was absolutely beautiful, and perfect in every way.

Have people gave reasons why they're unable to make it?

We are having a short engagement so we didn't send out save the dates. We gave everyone two months to RSVP, especially because we are getting married on a holiday weekend and most people make those plans pretty far out. I will be following up with people mid November, but need to know the total numbers by 12/1.

Did you really just say it makes you wonder about people's priorities after stating they are in the military? Sorry but your wedding is just that, yours. It isn't as important to everyone else especially when it comes to traveling and taking time from the military. (Not directed to op)

I'm sorry to hear that, i would feel hurt too... i hope they have good reasons so you can still enjoy the wedding planning and the day without feeling hurt.

@Amandaw we are both merchant marine ourselves, so we know the schedule struggle. Our enlisted friends actually were the ones who took leave to be there. Those were not the people I was referring to. I've edited my initial post for clarity.

When we picked our date we knew the time of year would be hard. My cousins are all OOT, I understand they are all married and have their own lives. I made the choice to go to all their weddings over the years, even though I was OOT, (one of them, I went to 2 of her weddings). I'm mostly sad that not any of them even returned their RSVP's, I had to ask them all... my friends are here; I'm the last one to get married.

I know it's not a big deal, I'm just whining right now.

I wanted to say this doesn't refer to my wedding as it's still a year out but .. at my baby shower the only family that came where my brothers and my mom .. my 2 best friends came .. but my fh family rolled in with like 50 people .. and at my brothers baby shower my whole family went besides me and my little brothers.. (they are teens and my dad's ex wife and I get along and my brother lost it on her .. and I was not allowed to bring my 4 month old who was breastfeeding ) my entire family went and it hurt a bit especially since my brother and his gf are addicts and I felt like they chose him over me .. which is not the case .. sometimes things come up

It's okay to be disappointed- I would be disappointed too. Take a deep breath, and realize that the people who are going to be there are so excited for you and will make your wedding wonderful.

So far, all of my main people have rsvp yes. Many aren't coming to my shower though, and that sucked but it's ok. Honestly, those that really care wouldn't miss it for the world, especially if your wedding is local. I've said it countless times, your wedding is one of those events in your life were you get to see who really cares. Close people that love you guys will be there

Thanks everyone, it does help to hear that it's ok to be disappointed. I am excited for our day! I have a big week coming up, shower, bachelorette, hair and make up trial AND second dress fitting!! Can't wait to see my dress again!!

Do they have something against ur fiance?

@Amy I would be hurt but really what can you do besides make the best of it...make plans for a smaller crowd, save money and be glad in ur day! I wish you the best!

@elizabeth, I have the same wedding date as bulbasaur and I have my rsvp date as Halloween, I had to have it so early because my venue wants a head count the 3rd week of November when i meet with them. Since it is right after holidays they need it earlier than they normally would. This gives me 2 to 3weeks to track everyone down who haven't rsvped. So far I have gotten 44 out of 58 rsvps back. Only one person has declined...

@Melanie - your venue asking for a headcount 5 weeks before your wedding date is ridiculous.

Just to add another point of view- a friend had a destination wedding and many of us (myself included) couldn't go, even though when the STDs were sent out a year in advance we thought we could swing it. When the official RSVPs came around, most of us had to graciously decline.

Within that year, financial and marital status changed, unexpected expenses came up, time off wasn't as easy to come by. I heard the bride was upset but, there wasn't anything i was able to change.

Especially if it is OOT, right after a holiday weekend, I'm sure your invited guests feel just as bad as you. When I declined it was heart wrenching, but I decided that my financial wellbeing was more important.

Just wanted to offer this perspective- I'm sure your guests feel terrible too.

Is there something you can upgrade with a lower guest count? Maybe you can serve steak instead of chicken or something like that (just an example). Find a way to get excited about the lower number to cheer yourself up!