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GrayCatVintage
Master October 2015

Dilemma with inviting my gay cousins...

GrayCatVintage, on April 4, 2014 at 6:28 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 24

I have 2 gay male cousins. It does not bother me one iota at all that they are gay. I used to be close with one of them, but he moved OOS and was in a relationship with a man for several years. Well, last year they had a bad break up and he moved back home. I have not seen or spoken to him since he...

I have 2 gay male cousins. It does not bother me one iota at all that they are gay. I used to be close with one of them, but he moved OOS and was in a relationship with a man for several years. Well, last year they had a bad break up and he moved back home. I have not seen or spoken to him since he came back, but he has been "hooking up" with guys he meets on Craigslist and I am not even getting into that. The other cousin has been in a committed relationship for over 5 years. This is the problem: I am not close to my cousins but I am close with my great aunt and uncle (their grandparents). The cousins' mother remarried a man who is a raging homophobe and a pig. We are inviting the great aunt/uncle but I really do not want to invite my cousins because I am not close with them, and I do not want the one to show up with the hookup of the week. By not inviting them I also then do not have to invite their mom & new hubby. I am worried (cont).

24 Comments

  • A
    Dedicated November 2014
    Angela ·
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    Invite the cousins because it seems as if you like them. Don't invite the aunt or her husband, just because they have issues. I have an uncle who stole from me and the ONLY reason he is invited us because my grandmother lives with him. If she didn't, he wouldn't even be told about the wedding.

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  • GrayCatVintage
    Master October 2015
    GrayCatVintage ·
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    I do not care what either cousin does with his time or who he spends it with - I DO CARE that I do not want some weird person that NO ONE KNOWS at the wedding (and quite frankly someone that my cousin barely knows as well). This would be no different than if I allowed one of my friends to bring the "fling of the month". I do not know them at all so they do not belong at my wedding period. All these people (the cousins and their mother and stepfather) are 3rd and 4th cousins so I think I will just not invite any of them and avoid any mess.

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  • Pezzy
    Master May 2014
    Pezzy ·
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    Sorry I did not see this earlier - but Gray - its simple, if one is in a committed relationship, he gets a guest, the other doing the fling of the month thing, you don't have to give them a guest. That's equality. It has zero to do with their sexuality. I have straight friends that sleep around, they aren't getting a guest. I have straight friends in committed relationships - they are getting guests.

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  • GrayCatVintage
    Master October 2015
    GrayCatVintage ·
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    It was more like two issues are combined into one - the fact that one cousin might bring an unsavory person to my wedding and the issue where if we invited them, we would also need to invite his mother and her homophobic new husband (all 4 people are 3rd and 4th cousins). The fact of the matter is the husband would likely make an embarrassing scene pertaining to the cousins' sexual orientation - something else I will absolutely not tolerate from anyone. After I spoke to some other family members about it, we decided just not to invite any of them and cut the guest list overall. In the end, we are not very close to these people at all anymore so there is no real reason to invite any of them to the wedding.

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