Difference in opinion about honoring dead family

Okay, this will be long- please bear with me. I’ll section this out so it’s a bit easier to understand (hopefully).


Basic event details:FH and I will have been dating 5 years next week. We got engaged Nov. 2019, and our wedding date is 10/17/20. We are not postponing, nor are we cutting back on the guest list because where the event space is, there are very little if any restrictions for COVID. We plan to have ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception same day, with total guest list of 80-85 invited.
Basic family dynamics and relationship details:- I grew up in a non-broken home, had an idyllic childhood on a farm, lots of family gatherings, always getting together or calling on the phone to chat. My parents are still married, and are very involved in my life still. However, my paternal grandparents both suddenly passed away at different times when I was younger. They helped raise me when I was very little, due to busy life situations with my parents (I’m first-born). So, they were like a second set of parents to me, and I had a *very* strong bond with them.- FH grew up in a broken-ish home, dad was barely present, mom did everything for the family. FH was SUPER close with his mom, and still holds her in very high regard. He didn’t see his other relatives much, and the family didn’t really do “traditional family gatherings”. FH’s mother became very ill in the last few years of her life, and her health greatly declined, ending in an early death. FH met me a couple years after that happened, so I’ve never known his mom.
Current situation:We are deep into planning, and are struggling with how to handle deceased family members that meant a great deal to each of us. We got into a heated argument over this tonight, and it’s weighing heavily on my mind. I need some outside advice and opinions to help me formulate how to move forward with discussions on the matter.
My opinion/want:I initially wanted to honor the deceased in some way, via photos of them at their own weddings on display at a table with a lit candle and small signage stating something along the lines of “In remembrance of those who can’t be with us today” -or- “All that we are & all that we hope to be, we owe to our loving families”. For the mother/son dance, I suggested he dance with one of his aunts (grandparents are all deceased).
FH’s opinion/want:He doesn’t want to do a mother/son dance at all, as he feels that there is no substitute on this planet for his mom. He did not want pictures, but would be ok with names on a small sign with verbiage about honoring them, and a candle, if I absolutely had to have some “in-remembrance” table. He ultimately would prefer to not have ANY references to any of the dead, as he said “it’s not a funeral and this is supposed to be a happy event, so why should we shove sad memories in our guests’ faces?”
In Conclusion, TL;DR:FH’s mom died before I met him. I want to honor her and family from my side that I held dear at our wedding, but FH doesn’t want to. However, FH would be ok with only having my family’s dead remembered publicly, since that was my desire. How do we compromise or move forward in discussion about whether to honor the dead in a public way, discreetly, or not at all visibly (let each person remember on their own terms in their thoughts if they want to.)?