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Expert August 2015

Didn't get our invitation. Do we ask or just forget about it?

xxxxxx, on June 2, 2015 at 2:54 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16

A couple of weeks ago, my fh's old friend texted him asking for our address so he could send an invitation to his wedding. I think we were D listed, which is fine with us. We know how it is with space/budget. Anyway, we haven't received an invitation, and their wedding is THIS month! Should fh tell his friend we didn't get an invite, or just let it go? Fh was invited to this guy's bachelor party via text last week, which makes us think we are supposed to be invited to the wedding. We truly don't mind if something came up and they weren't able to actually invite us like they thought they could. I just don't want us to look rude for not sending in the RSVP that we never received. At the same time, I don't want to put the couple on the spot and ask about it if it was a mistake asking for our address. What would you do?

16 Comments

Latest activity by Joy, on June 2, 2015 at 5:49 PM
  • Maltese
    Master June 2015
    Maltese ·
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    Just forget about it...if it actually did get lost they will call you when the RSVPs are due to see if you're coming, and if they do then apologize and say that you never received it.

    Also...your FH going to his bach party doesn't mean anything. Guys tend to do it differently, FH had his over the weekend...there were about 65 people there and not even half were invited to the wedding.

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  • Barbara
    Master September 2014
    Barbara ·
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    Agree with Maltese-- its up to them to follow-up, not you.

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  • X
    Expert August 2015
    xxxxxx ·
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    Oh. Ok, thank you. I thought it was rude to invite people to wedding events if they're not invited to the wedding. But, I only read it somewhere. I have no actual experience with weddings.

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  • Maltese
    Master June 2015
    Maltese ·
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    It is....according to women (like showers and things like that) but guys dont think stuff like that. FH had friends of friends that he didn't even know at the bach party.

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  • MrsTex
    Super October 2015
    MrsTex ·
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    I had a friend do that to another friend. She asked for her address and then never sent her anything. No accident, just decided not to invite her. I thought it was super rude to go as far as giving them the idea they would be invited and then not. Anyway, Maltese is right, they should call around RSVP time if it was legit.

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  • X
    Expert August 2015
    xxxxxx ·
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    Ok. I was just worried because I see so many ladies on here upset because people didn't Rsvp. I don't want them thinking we're rude, or inconsiderate. Also, I know I'd want to know if my guest didn't get their invite. Thanks again. We'll just pretend they never asked for our address.

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  • X
    Expert August 2015
    xxxxxx ·
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    Yeah, I would never ever ask for someone's address for an invitation, then not invite them, but I know people do this.

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  • Maltese
    Master June 2015
    Maltese ·
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    Either you'll be a rude guest who was invited didn't RSVP for a good reason (ie, not receiving the invitation) or you'll put both you and the bride/groom in an awkward situation if you call up saying you didn't get and invitation and we may see a thread pop up on Wedding Wire from a bride to be had to field a phone call from people asking where their invitation was that weren't invited to her wedding

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  • X
    Expert August 2015
    xxxxxx ·
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    Lol I know how men are...I don't think I know any who could even define the word etiquette. hahaha

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  • Princess Consuela
    Master November 2015
    Princess Consuela ·
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    Maybe your FH could just ask the groom at the bachelor party? If they're close enough friends, I'm sure he could mention that you guys didn't get the invitation in an offhand way.

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  • E
    Master July 2015
    Emma ·
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    With your picture, I can't take you seriously.

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  • Kris E
    VIP May 2015
    Kris E ·
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    I would just wait to see if I got an RSVP call.

    As a bride would you rather tell someone their invitation got lost or that they were never sent one.

    @Emma! Love

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  • X
    Expert August 2015
    xxxxxx ·
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    Emma, would it be better for you if I changed it back to the rings? I got quite a bit of shit for having rings, and now I find out that my new pic isn't good enough either... lol What kind of picture will make you happy, cupcake?

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  • X
    Expert August 2015
    xxxxxx ·
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    We won't ask them. I was hoping you guys would say not to! I just wanted to see what other brides thought.

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  • Annie & Javi
    Master October 2015
    Annie & Javi ·
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    Forget about it.

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  • Joy
    Super August 2015
    Joy ·
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    I would just not worry about it. It is true that it is very rude to ask people for their address and not invite them. My FH and I made our guest list early on, however when it got closer my FH started feeling somewhat guilty that he didn't invite some friends and extended family. So he decided to ask for more addresses and then tell them if we had space we would try to fit them in. His logic is to invite people who is able to come and willing to come instead of inviting family who may not come due to distance to travel and money. We did not add any of those people on the list. I am waiting to see what happens next.

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