Amy
Beginner August 2020

Did you include fh family in wedding party?

Amy, on February 26, 2020 at 1:46 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 22
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My future husband actually has 5 sisters and one sister in law! most of them are older, but one sister and SIL are my age I kind of want to include them but at the same time my FH doesn't want to include my brothers as groomsmen and it just means he would have to find another groomsmen for her to stand with.

And also his SIL and sister are best friends so if I include his sister i'm only leaving out his SIL. Since her husband (his brother) is the best man. I would be adding two bridesmaids then, i just don't want them to feel left out but at the same time we are not super close but I did want our wedding party to incorporate both of our families. so my options are (none of his family) (just his sister) or add his (sister and SIL)

right now I just have my sister, my niece, and my cousin.

these are just questions i feel like nobody can relate to.

FYI wedding is in August already is it to late to ask?

who all did you have stand in your bridal party did u include his family?

22 Comments

  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle Online ·
    • Flag
    We didn’t include each other’s siblings. My brother and my sister in law were in the wedding walking in the processional but they weren’t groomsman and bridesmaid. I don’t feel like it’s an obligation to make them a party of the party just because they’re siblings. Have the people you are close to be a part of your wedding parties
    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag

    We are not including my FSIL in the wedding party. Her 2 daughters are flower girls. But his sister and I are not close at all. Not for the lack of trying on my part but she just doesn't seem to want to get to know me. So I just don't include her in stuff. I tried but it didn't work.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Super August 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    Only ask those closest to you to stand by you. Remember, you are not obligated to ask someone just because you're marrying their family member. Ask the people who you couldn't imagine standing up there without!

    • Reply
  • Chantal
    Expert May 2020
    Chantal ·
    • Flag

    If you've already asked your bridesmaids, you should probably stick with the people that you have, so anyone who gets asked at this point doesn't feel like they've been "tagged on." If you've just started asking people to be a part of the bridal party, then you could totally have them (2 added, right?) and have them walk down the aisle together at the end. The two parties don't always have to be balanced. If your FH doesn't want to include your siblings, though, that's his call, so it would be uneven.

    My FH thought about asking my brother to be a groomsman, but they aren't very close, and I told him that I wouldn't feel insulted if he didn't. We both have really small groups (3) like you, and we're really intimately close with the people we chose, so it felt weird to add my brother just out of blood obligation.

    • Reply
  • Jill
    Expert May 2020
    Jill ·
    • Flag

    I included only my sister on my side and FH chose to have his sister stand on his side. Pick only who you want to be there and don't feel obligated to choose them only because they are future family!

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    First off, you don't need even sides. To me, that's pretty dated and I almost never see it anymore. I don't think it's too late to ask if you ask now. We included all our siblings in our wedding party (my husband's 4 sisters and my 1 brother) but we are all very close.

    • Reply
  • Ashley
    Devoted August 2020
    Ashley ·
    • Flag

    I have one sister, who is a bridesmaid, and FH has one sister, who is not in the wedding party. His sister and I get along great, but when I was thinking about who I wanted to be my bridesmaids I immediately came up with 4 girls, and his sister was not one of them. I talked it over with FH, since he is very close with his sister and he told me if I don't want to ask her, don't. He wanted me to make sure I asked the girls I'm the most close with, and if I didn't end up asking his sister that was fine. My own sister even told me that if I wanted to kick her out to make room for my friends that I could, as long as I was happy with who I chose. So I guess that's my advice to you. Don't ask someone just because you feel like you should. Choose people who you genuinely want standing next to you and who you can't imagine not being a part of your wedding.

    • Reply
  • M
    Devoted October 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    You're not obligated to have anyone in your wedding party, and you definitely shouldn't ask (or not ask) people to make the sides even. Ask the people that you're closest to and have your fiancé do the same.

    • Reply
  • Dayna
    Devoted March 2021
    Dayna ·
    • Flag

    I am including FH's sister, but that was a personal choice because we have become very close and I basically see her as my little sister. FH isn't even including one of his brothers who is fairly distant from the family, so we chose our BP based on personal relationships and not family obligation. I agree with PPs that you should choose whoever YOU want up there with you, and don't need to worry too much about even sides. I don't think it's too late to ask for an August wedding, but you'll probably want to start picking out dresses pretty soon.

    • Reply
  • Hallie
    Dedicated August 2020
    Hallie ·
    • Flag

    We are getting married in August too! My fiancé has 6 brothers and only one will be in our wedding. Our wedding party consists of people we are close with. None of my bridesmaids are blood family just all very good friends who are like family.

    • Reply
  • Kaitlyn
    Devoted May 2020
    Kaitlyn ·
    • Flag
    We included FH’s sister and her husband. Their kids are our flower girls and ring bearers. He is very close with them, and since the beginning of our relationship I have been close with them as well.

    My siblings, on the other hand, are not in the wedding party. Previously my sister was married and had a nasty divorce and now has a grim view on relationships and marriage, and my engagement/wedding/impending marriage has caused a large rift between us. I had always imagined her as my maid of honor when I got married as I was hers, but she doesn’t support my marriage so she isn’t included in the wedding party. And my brother lives hundreds of miles away, never visits our family and has never met my FH (we are not close).
    • Reply
  • Theadra
    Dedicated June 2020
    Theadra ·
    • Flag
    Have the people that you’re closest too! I have 3 friends and 3 family (2 sister in laws and my cousin) I’m close to them and consider them my sisters. My hubby has his brothers and my brother. We’re just naturally close to each other siblings. So it’s really nice. But that’s not always the case
    • Reply
  • Allie
    Dedicated November 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    My FH has 3 sisters and I’m an only child. He is very close with one sister but the other two not so much, so what he did was he asked his sister to be his best woman and the others are just guests at our wedding. You shouldn’t include anyone just to include them because it’s your day and who you want to be included, so if you want one over the other or only want to include one, that’s what you should do. My FH’s family was understanding when it came to this and they didn’t mind. If you think it’ll cause issues not to include them all, then I’d say probably include none before you include people you don’t necessarily want being part of your bridal party.
    • Reply
  • S
    December 2020
    Shelly ·
    • Flag

    My husband has a large family (10 siblings, all older). We settled it by me choosing the girls and he chose the guys. He chose 2 brothers he was close to and the rest were his friends. I had 1 cousin and the rest were all my friends.

    • Reply
  • V
    Dedicated August 2020
    Valerie ·
    • Flag
    Hubby & I both agreed we would each choose who was going to stand by our sides respectively. My sister and cousin are the only family I have standing on my side and a number of my friends. Didn’t ask his sister or sister in law because we are not close, just civil at family functions and holidays. He chose his brother, brother in law, and my brother among other friends on his side. He and my brother actually get along, joke with each other constantly and have bonded so it made sense. Do not feel obligated to ask family if you are not close. So glad I kept mine the way I did.
    • Reply
  • Andrea
    Super May 2020
    Andrea ·
    • Flag
    I picked my bridesmaids and my maid of honor (who is my sil, but my brothers wife NOT my fiancé’s sister). I am not close with his sister, she’s actually been pretty crappy to both of us but his mom would not stop saying that his sister Stacey needed something to do in the wedding, like literally every tine we spoke. I refused to just add a random reading because it’s what they asked for (we are paying for 100% of this wedding too)
    About a month ago my fiancé expressed it was important to him that Stacey and my brother are in the wedding (my brother is walking me down the aisle, he was already in the wedding) but his family couldn’t expect that Stacey wasn’t. So 8 months+ after i asked my bridesmaids, I asked Stacey to be one as well 🙄🙄🙄
    It’s worth it to me to keep the peace with his mom and honestly she’s less annoying to me as a bridesmaid than if she woulda had a big speaking role. Hope she knows her place day of! Long story short, you don’t have to do anything. There is something to be said about keeping the peace and trying to form relationships with new family members, but at the end of the day, it is your and your fiancés day. If it was only my fiancé’s family that cared she was in the wedding and not him, I woulda stood my ground. You don’t have to include anyone you don’t want to but weigh the pros and cons. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • Eshell
    Devoted January 2021
    Eshell ·
    • Flag
    I chose my maid of honor , bridesmaids, flower girls and ring boy and the readers of the scripture lessons in the ceremony
    He chose his best man and grooms men
    We didn’t cross lines Lolol That worked best for us
    • Reply
  • Laura
    Expert August 2020
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    Find other things for them to do: greeters, candle lighters, readers, etc. Have them be part of your day and ceremony that way.
    • Reply
  • Katharine
    Devoted July 2020
    Katharine ·
    • Flag

    I probably could have invited his sister, but I had only met her once when we got engaged and didn't feel comfortable with that ask. I don't think it bothered her in the slightest though. She's pretty laid back and is happy to be joining us to party. I don't think his SIL would be even remotely interested in being part of the wedding party.

    FH didn't have to worry about this question since my only brother passed away several years before we even met.

    • Reply
  • Laura
    VIP November 2019
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    H added his brother as a groomsman basically to get his mother to shut the##%% up. She was still on him up to the day before the ceremony about having his best friend as his best man instead of the brother he barely talks to. She just couldn’t fathom him not choosing his brother as best man.
    Fortunately my brother never had any intention of coming so we didn’t have to worry about him.
    • Reply

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