Did you have someone turn you down when you asked them to stand up in your Wedding?

No one turned us down, but DH's brother backed out pretty last minute. I f***ing wish he had just said "no" from the get go (he was flakey/not into it from day 1). It would have saved us a lot of difficulty.

I didn't, but FH did. He asked his son, who is almost 24, to be his BM. Son said he'd have to "think about it" and to my knowledge, they have not spoken since... and this was in May.

There's a long story behind it... son isn't actually FH's, he adopted him when he got married to his XW. Son was like 2 or 3, and they've never been close. FH and his XW had a very ugly, very recent divorce so I'm not overly surprised about it. Honestly, I think it's for the best.

I had asked my best friend to be my MOH. She didn't seem excited that night, we talked and drank to it to celebrate. Went home and then she text me that she thought she wouldn't have the time, etc to do it. While I was glad she told me no if she truly did not want to be in the wedding, I was so hurt and yes, it has really out a strain on our friendship. I have only seen her a few times since March where we used to spend a lot of time together. I don't even want to talk to her about the wedding. Petty and childish, yep, but I can't help myself.

Aww, I'm sorry to hear about that val. :[

I did. Originally I asked my sister to be a BM. My mom was overly excited when she agreed. The next day though she asked if we could talk alone and asked if I would be really upset if she wasn't a BM. She gets really nervous in front of that many people (which I had no idea about that). She kept apologizing, but honestly while I'd love for her to stand up there with us, I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. Instead she's being as helpful as she can from 2 hours away, and at the end of the day I'm just glad she'll be coming to the wedding.

FHs brother quit twice. Does that count? I wouldn't let him back in if he asked

Well kind of. Before FH and I even got engaged we talked about getting married and my best friend straight up said she didn't want to be a MOH but she would be a BM she didnt want to have to host or plan anything said she knew she couldn't handle it. Funny thing is when I finally got engaged I had asked my younger cousin who is like a sister to be a BM and she mentioned something on FB and my best friend got all mad and thought I wasnt having her be in my wedding. So when I went to ask her she said "OMG I was so upset and thought you weren't going to have me in your wedding and I wasn't even going to go to your wedding" you have to know who she is to think this is funny I just laughed and told her no I wanted to ask you in person and reminded her of the prior conversation we had. Lol i have some crazy but amazing BM's

My FSIL and her husband had their BM just not show up to the wedding. He was at the rehearsal the night before and his on again off again gf asked him last minute to head out of town. He did without even giving them a warning that he was taking off. They haven't spoken to him since.

We didn't have anyone say no but...

-My younger sister is crazy but asked her to be my MOH out of family obligation asked her in February. In June she went bat shit crazy and dropped out. I refuse to let her back in the bridal party, and the relationship is more strained that it was before

-One of the Groomsmen dropped out when he found out that his wife (who lived 20 minutes from our venues) wouldn't be able to be with the bridal party riding on the limo and taking photos. He and FH are still friends

-Another GM may drop out (I have a thread going on right now about it). Not sure what this will do to his and FH's friendship....have a feeling they will fall out of touch over the course of a couple years anyway

FH's best man/brother has repeatedly whined about not wanting to be the best man. It's his only brother. FBIL keeps saying he doesn't want to give a toast or plan a bachelor party or whatever. FH always responds that FBIL doesn't have to do any of that. He just wants his brother standing next to him.

Awhile back I finally told FBIL off about his whining. I told him that he either needs to quit or shut his mouth because I was getting sick of hearing it. It maaaay have been alcohol-assisted. FBIL's wife backed me up on it and I haven't heard him complain since!

I asked my FSIL and she said no. She said that she would be too "emotional" to be up in front of everyone and she didn't want people looking at her. We aren't close. I only asked to keep the peace with my FH and FMIL.

Yes, my sister and my cousin turned me down. My sister because of money and my cousin because she wasn't going to be able to get her own dress (she a bit of a diva and didn't want a typical bridesmaid dress).

I have also turned down my brother (before he officially asked but I knew it was coming) and my god sister.

edited because I cannot type as fast as I think and was missing words.

My sister. Accepted and then backed out a couple months later as MOH AND as s guest. I'm upset but I have to let it go.

One of my friends and i have known each other since we were four (we are twenty four now) and have always said we would be each others maid of honors. even in the past few years she has said she better be my maid of honor, etc.

so i got engaged and went over to her house and asked her and she honestly kind of beat around the bush. didn't really say anything and didn't seem too excited. i was really surprised. so i asked her again because i wanted a clear and definitive answer. she said no because she didn't think she would have time being in school and all and she thought she might be getting engaged soon but that she would still like to be a bridesmaid. about three weeks later she did get engaged and i'm not her maid of honor either but will be a bridesmaid in her wedding.

it was whatever. i told my sister in law and asked her if she would be my maid of honor (i really wanted her to be my maid of honor anyways) and she said yes and if i didn't have her....woooo....this wedding wouldn't have been what it was. it all worked out PERFECTLY and i think it happened this way for a reason. love my maid of honor to death.

A friend I've known for >30 years sent me an email (all caps) not to ask or invite her. I love her to death, but she's one of those people who find it difficult to be happy for another person. She's going through an extremely ugly breakup (her fault) and is angry at everyone but herself.

Yes. My best friend was in Nepal with the Peace Corps when I got engaged/married. She *had* said, "Wherever I am in the world-- I'll come back for your wedding." but that turned out not to be true. 8-( At first I was super-bummed, didn't feel like getting married, was jealous that DH's friends were all available to be in the wedding, etc. But I asked another friend, she was delighted, and I got happily married. I later learned that the first friend was completely miserable in Nepal, and was worried if she came home for my wedding (and let's face it-- even if she were having a great time-- Nepal to California is a looooong, expensive trip!) she wouldn't go back.

I totally forgave her and we are still really close. And the other friend I asked never knew that she was my second choice, so she was really thrilled and flattered.

My FH's brother agreed to be best man and then backed out in August over some disagreements about his wife. lol They haven't spoken since! To be honest, I'm glad he's out and not even attending because now I don't have to worry about a BM speech that is full of backhanded compliments.

FH had lifelong buddy who just joined the Police (maybe fire :/ I'm awful obviously) Academy, and usually has to work on weekends and can get called in in a moments notice. He felt bad committing this far in advance when he wasn't sure if he could be 100% committed to even attending- after seeing some stories on here TOTALLY respected it, and glad he realized the commitment involved on being able to actually show up to the wedding, and didn't wait til the day of as he was getting called in.

One of my best friends is in the Phillipines with the Peace Corp (she likes it a lot- she has always enjoyed traveling and living in other countries). When I asked her last January, she said no because of the money and she wasn't sure she could get the time off. We considered putting off the wedding for another year, but we really didn't want to do that. So I said, ok, no problem. We kept in touched through email.

In September she emailed saying that she had looked at flights and talked to her boss and that she was coming back for the wedding I am super excited. I talked to her mom and decided that she is going to be a bridesmaid. She doesn't know. I got her measurements and ordered her dress and I will surprise her with it in December when we are both home.

We assumed that my FHs best friend would be a groomsman because he talked about it when FH proposed. But when he was officially asked he said no. His reason was he didn't do well in front of crowds. I don't understand that because all he had to do was stand there. My FH didnt seem upset at all. But I was really hurt that his best friend didn't want to be there for him on his big day. Until then I had never heard of someone saying no to being a groomsman or bridesmaid.