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Ashley
Dedicated March 2016

Did you call those who didn't RSVP?

Ashley, on January 30, 2016 at 1:29 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 25

So I have less than a month for RSVPs to come back. My FH and I have differing opinions on if you're supposed to contact the guests who did not respond by the RSVP date. The WW checklist says you are supposed to call those people, which is what I thought as well. Did you call or text the people you didn't hear from? Or, did you just assume they weren't coming? Or, told them they couldn't come since they didn't respond by the specified date?

25 Comments

Latest activity by NewMrsWesely, on January 30, 2016 at 9:00 PM
  • Ostrichka
    VIP February 2016
    Ostrichka ·
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    A couple days after our RSVP deadline we reached out to those who had not RSVPed primarily via email, text, or in person. Everyone but for one person responded promptly to the follow up, because they felt badly they missed the deadline! I'm assuming my one cousin who lives out of state who never responded is not coming. If for some reason I suddenly hear from him, I'm going to tell him we can no longer accommodate him, as we've already given all our vendors final numbers and seating charts are done, etc. Frankly, I do not believe that more than one follow up per person should be necessary; it is rude not to RSVP to a big event like a wedding!

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  • FutureMrs.Davis
    Expert March 2016
    FutureMrs.Davis ·
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    Our RSVP deadline is February 1st. We plan on contacting those who did not RSVP after that.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    God people are rude.

    I'd say send them all an email that says, "Since you didn't think it was important enough to RSVP to our wedding invitation, for a party that will end up costing a gazillion dollars, and even though we had to cut people who really WANT to come, we are releasing your seat. To hell with you."

    Okay, not really. But I would just send a group email and give them a drop dead date to respond yes or no. If you don't hear from them by then, consider them no's.

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  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
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    You absolutely must contact people who did not reply. Don't assume they aren't coming. I had 3 RSVP cards that did not make it back to me, but when I called those guests they said they had mailed them back. Things do get lost in the mail. Also, people have busy lives and they do forget but they may really want to attend. Call them a few days after the deadline (not before).

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  • Sqwiggy
    VIP April 2016
    Sqwiggy ·
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    Following

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  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
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    What Celia said. It blows my mind people can't circle yes or no and put the pre stamped envelope in the mail. fFS

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  • Rebecca
    Super November 2016
    Rebecca ·
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    I would say absolutely yes. Maybe they forgot, maybe they haven't been married & don't realize how important rsvps are but in the end, it only benefits you!

    I'd hate to get a bunch of people show that you expected not to come.

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  • Theresa
    Dedicated June 2016
    Theresa ·
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    Definitely contact them. I've had several scenarios with things getting lost in the mail...either the reply card or never receiving the invitation in the first place.

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  • Britti
    VIP May 2016
    Britti ·
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    I would definitely contact them.

    I'm planning on reaching out by phone, text, private Facebook message, just about every way haha

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  • Ashley
    Dedicated March 2016
    Ashley ·
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    Yeah that's what I was thinking. My fiancé is crazy lol! He also doesn't think people send declines.

    @celia I love your email response lol. If only I could actually send that to people...

    Thanks everyone for the advice!!

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  • Mrs. León
    VIP October 2015
    Mrs. León ·
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    We contacted them either phone, text or email. If we didn't hear from them in a week after that we took it as a no. I either texted or email the person and got a response from people that way. DH called people and 2 people told him yes over the phone and didn't show. One of our friends said something to them afterwards and both said they didn't want to tell him no when he called. I guess sometimes it's easier to say no through email or text.

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  • Dana
    VIP October 2016
    Dana ·
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    My friend had a bunch of RSVP postcards get lost in the mail, including ours. Our post office had recently switched to a different sorting facility out of state and it really really messed up everything. I felt terrible for her because she ended having to call 1/4 of her 250+ guest list.

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  • F
    Master December 2015
    Fiona ·
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    If we really wanted them there, we reached out on facebook and via text/phone. Others we didn't care as much about we assumed they weren't coming.

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  • kahlcara
    Master August 2013
    kahlcara ·
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    Yeah, I called/emailed/messaged everyone who had not responded or asked MIL or my mom to reach out for some of the more distant relatives.

    My advice would be to check with your parents first though--there were a couple people who had mentioned to MIL that they couldn't make it (one even sent her a letter), but apparently it never occurred to them to send in the RSVP, and MIL assumed they had told us and didn't mention it until I asked her about it.

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  • F
    Master December 2015
    Fiona ·
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    The family members we had to invite but didn't want to? Eh. We posted in our guests' private Facebook group reminding everyone several times of the RSVP date. That felt sufficient for those we didn't care as much about.

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  • NowASeptMrs
    Master September 2015
    NowASeptMrs ·
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    Yes contact them by the way you primarily communicate.

    Aunts and uncles, I emailed.

    FILs friends, I had FMIL contact them.

    People we knew, I called or text.

    Don't take "no RSVP" as a no. Of those who didn't RSVP about 80% were "yes".

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    Eh, I think if they are important enough to invite, they're close enough to care enough to reply.

    But I'm ancient.

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  • Heather
    VIP May 2016
    Heather ·
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    I added some extra time to be able to follow up with those that didn't RSVP. But I do kinda assume that they aren't coming. Just nice to know either way.

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  • Z
    Master May 2012
    Zoe ·
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    Ug-- tracking down people, just to have them lie and no-show-- how awful!

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  • sandpiper
    Super March 2016
    sandpiper ·
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    Currently struggling with this... my RSVP deadline was 1/15 and I still have quite a lot of stragglers (and folks who have told others on FH's family that they plan to be there but who haven't officially responded to us...)

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