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Super August 2022

Did i Do the Right Thing?

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Lynne, on June 6, 2019 at 3:05 PM

I chose my bridal party and one of my bridesmaids kept complaining about the dress style and length that I chose. Her complaints were really stressing me out and started to get me to rethink the dresses. I removed her from the bridal party.

Dress length is tea length (rockabilly style) but she kept saying that she wants her dress long because she doesn't like her legs. I told her that she can nylons and that no one is going to be looking at her legs. She then started complaining again. She also doesn't care for poofy type dresses.

Was that the right way to deal with it?

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31 Comments

Dedicated August 2019
Misstomorris · on June 6, 2019 at 5:18 PM
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That is not compromising. That is asking her to spend additional money because you value a photograph more highly than you do a friendship. Good for her - I’d hate to see what else is in store for your remaining bridesmaids.
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Dedicated June 2020
Margaret · on June 6, 2019 at 5:45 PM
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Maybe there was an underlying anxiety on her end and you made the decision easier for her. I am sure you're sad, but if you two are okay, then you don't need to second guess yourself.
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Super July 2020
D · on June 6, 2019 at 6:31 PM
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Honestly I feel it was a bit hasty. However I'm glad she took it well.
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Savvy June 2022
D Ross · on June 6, 2019 at 6:33 PM
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Sounds like she really didn't want to do it and just set it up to be able to say "she kicked me out". That said, I only have my sister and best friend of over 30 years as my bridesmaids. They would wear anything for me, my best friend even asking if it was ok to cut her hair, over 16 months out! I told her it was her hair. At the same time, one of my colors is coral. She is a redhead. She said she would be willing to wear coral, but would feel more comfortable in my other color, cornflower. So, were going to look at coral swatches and if she doesn't like any, sh and my sister will wear cornflower. But I am asking my sister to cover her tattoos wit makeup and she has no problem with that... I say if it's causing you stress, it's gotta go. Yes, even entire, whole people. If you aren't close enough to come to a compromise, then it may not have been that strong a relationship in the first place.
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Super August 2022
Lynne · on June 6, 2019 at 6:40 PM
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My bridesmaids are not paying for their dress.
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Super August 2022
Lynne · on June 6, 2019 at 6:42 PM
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Yes, it hurt to remove her. But I'm happy that her and I talked it out. We've been hanging out and everything since then.
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Super August 2022
Lynne · on June 6, 2019 at 6:43 PM
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I wish she would have said that she didn't want to be in it before saying yes. It hurt removing her. But I'm happy we are ok
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Super August 2022
Lynne · on June 6, 2019 at 6:44 PM
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It did hurt to remove her. I am glad we are ok. But, I wish she would have said she wanted to do something else for the wedding.
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Devoted December 2019
Samantha · on June 6, 2019 at 9:55 PM
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This is a tough one.... you have a vision for your wedding and your friend might be a little self conscious. I think a little compromise goes a long way.. for my bridesmaids, I picked the color and let each girl pick out the style they liked. Hope you guys can work it out!
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VIP December 2019
Michelle · on June 6, 2019 at 11:40 PM
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I agree 100%
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VIP September 2019
CDickman · on June 10, 2019 at 8:47 AM
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I get the whole vision thing. I also understand not stuffing some one In a dress and completely disregard their opinions for your vision. Nylons by the way is not a compromise you can still ses legs in nylons.
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