Did i Do the Right Thing?

I'm not sure removing her was the right way to deal with it. By doing that, you basically told her your wedding is more important than your friendship with her. I think a better way would have been to kindly tell her that you are sorry she doesn't like the choice, but you have your heart set on it; and that moving forward she'd have to be okay with your choice, or she can opt to back down if she really isn't comfortable with it. BUT that's too little too late. Hope it all works out for you though!

Well... while it is your wedding day and I'm sure you have a vision of what you want you are asking for her to buy a dress she doesn't like. I would have taken into consideration the wants of the bridesmaids. It's not like most people re-wear their bridesmaid dresses. Removing her as a bridesmaid is pretty harsh. You have to remember snubs that happen during your wedding do echo afterwards.

View Quoted Comment My bridesmaids aren't buying their dress. My uncle and I are going to make the dresses.

View Quoted Comment Her and I have talked and she says that she's ok with not being in the wedding, she would rather help with set up.

I agree with Danielle. It would have been better to let her know you couldn't change the dress but would understand if it was a dealbreaker for her. What's done is done. Hopefully you two can have a discussion about it and move forward.

View Quoted Comment We have talked. She told me she would rather help with set up.

I guess it depends on your priorities. Friendships come before bridesmaids dresses in my opinion, but I suppose not everyone feels that way.

I don't think removing her because she didn't like the style was the right thing to do. While it's your wedding and you are the bride you want your bridal party comfy and confident in what their wearing. But, if you say shes okay with it... then why are you second guessing yourself?

This is tough. My friend removed a bunch of her bridesmaids who made same kind of comments because she felt unsupported by them. But if you guys worked it out and she's happy to still help but not have the title and role of bridesmaid it's ok. As long as your friendship is still in tact. It's always sad when people fire bridesmaids and it affects the friendship after badly. My friend after she removed her bridesmaids, she never talked to them again.

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Agree with this completely

I personally want my bridesmaids to be as comfortable as possible. If I’m asking someone to spend money of something they are going to wear one time and ask them to stand in front of people and help me with my wedding then I personally want them to be as comfortable as they can be and if that means they don’t like their dress that means we find one they do like. It will make everyone’s lives easier. You had her in the wedding party for a reason so hopefully if you still want her in it you two can make it work. I think there are others ways to have gone about it but you can’t go back now you can only either move or or try to fix what happened

I don't blame you. It's your day. Incessant complaining is only going to lead to stress. You can't switch stuff around just because of her issues

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I may get backlash for this, but I agree with this comment. I'm sorry but you ask someone to stand up with you because of your love and affection for them. When they accept that role, it should be because they want to do whatever they can to show their love and affection and support for you. When you get women who immediately start making the whole thing about them, that really turns me off. It's one thing to be not all that excited, that's to be expected. But when a bridesmaid makes the whole thing about her, and starts complaining about what the bride wants her to wear, then it's just unnecessary stress for the bride. Who needs that?? You all are saying she's not being a good friend by putting the wedding before the friendship. I say the bridesmaid is not being a good friend by complaining, and trying to make it about her!! That's rude, and if I were the bride, I'd be pissed that someone I trusted was acting that way.

From your posts it sounds like there is more to the story then the initial thread lets on. 1) she isn't buying her dress - so there's no financial investment on her end, 2) she seems ok with it, and it seems like you did talk.

I am thinking, and I might be off, that you are feeling sad, because you want her to be a part of the day. If that is the case, maybe you can talk to her again, and bring up doing something in the wedding to make her feel involved...

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Glad you found something that works out better for both of you!

I think it depends, and each bride will have a different response. I assume if you remove a bridesmaid, the friendship doesn't survive. I specifically let the girls pick their dress because I wanted everyone to feel beautiful & happy in a dress they love.

I couldn't imagine one of my girls telling me about an insecurity of theirs and my response being either suck it up or get out of my wedding essentially. I think it's unfair to ask someone to sacrifice being comfortable in their own skin as a way of "supporting you" on your day but that's just me. I wold see if we could come to some sort of resolution, same material, style and color at a different length perhaps. But if your friend is happier not being a bridesmaid then I guess there's no real issue here.

Yiiiiiiiikes. You couldn’t have compromised a little with someone who is supposed to Ebates your nearest & dearest? Wow.

*be your nearest & dearest

View Quoted Comment I did try to compromise with her. I was giving her suggestions of what she could do to hide her legs. But she didn't like anything I was saying because she was really trying to get me to change the length of the dresses.