Did anyone have a courthouse ceremony then have Big ceramony later?

@Elizabeth I am responding however I like. Guess we both have some learning to do.

Except that I didn't tell you how to post. See how that works?

@Elizabeth thanks for another piece of unsolicited advice. Maybe someday I'll earn my degree in "the internet."

My BFF is doing that. She was married a while ago but wants to celebrate the wedding in the Catholic Church. She recently moved to the states from Canada to be with her American husband. It is an affirmation of their marriage in the church. I'm a bridesmaid in her wedding on 9/3 and she's mine on 9/24!

You can do it but don't hide it from your guests. Not going to lie, I'd be pretty miffed if I gave a gift to a couple for what I thought was their "wedding" and found out they were already an established and married couple. Why not just wait?

My DH and I did this because we really didn't have much of a choice. Our local laws are super discriminatory and you have the choice to either get married by a religious official (we aren't religious) or by a judge at the courthouse where you can bring a max of 2 people (so not even all 4 parents could be there, let alone the grandparents, aunts/uncles, siblings, our BFFs, etc). It didn't seem right to us that because we aren't religious the state could take away our families getting to see our wedding. So we went to the courthouse for the legal bit and had a friend of the family officiate at our wedding for all our friends and family. We didn't choose to share that we had done the legal side beforehand with very many people simply because we have family members that aren't ok with us not being religious and we knew it would lead to fights about how we could solve it all by just having the wedding at the family church (which clearly wasn't an option for us) and we didn't see where it was any of their business nor did we feel it was worth a huge blowout fight.

People are in different situations and while I don't see the point of doing it if you don't have a reason for it for those who do need to be legally married before their wedding I don't have any problem with it.

We just returned from our son's wedding. He has been in the military for years. Met a local girl and married. We taveled a great distance and happily hosted the rehersal dinner. Our son's new bride never spoke to us or even acknowledged our presence. It was awkward and confusing. She became upset whenever our son tried to visit with us (only in town 3 nights). She complained about the caterer, the toast and our very presence. Our son continually aplogized for her behavior and we all chalked it up to wedding stess. The day we got home the bride posted on FB that they had in fact been married 4 months. We would have celebrated no matter what! He and his bride wanted it all. Everyone in her family knew they were married. The pastor even knew. The groom's family had no idea. We spent a lot of money both on the dinner, tuxes, gifts and travel only to read the truth on FB afterwards. Why go on FB with the truth after we get home? Our son said they agreed to keep it a secret from us. The FB post by the bride was to was done on impulse hurt us, but he cannot explain why she would want to. The whole experience has been traumatic.