Destination Wedding

No. If they need to pay to get into the resort for the wedding, you should cover that cost. Any other optional activities would be her responsibility.

For the wedding day, yes, you should cover the cost. Anything else they should pay for, but also expect that they may not come to the second day of activities.

Wow those are huge expenses for a day pass. I would agree with PP that if they need it for the wedding day that you should pay but other day should be on them. Do they know about the cost of the day pass? They might reconsider staying at the resort.

I think you are most definitely not responsible for paying for the day pass for your guests. They knew in advance it's a destination wedding and the cost of staying there. If they decide to attend, any travel costs are their own responsibility.

No!
The day pass was included with her stay.

Since she has choosen to stay off-site, then she is responsible for paying for her pass.

I feel that they should be responsible to pay both if they’re not staying at the facility, if they knew ahead of time that rooms were blocked out via contract. I had a block of suites for my wedding, and with that, we got the bistro for free and a huge discount for the food. Before I signed the contract, I talked to each guest (most were family) and got their confirmation they’d stay there. It was $109 per night in Georgetown, Washington DC. The boutique hotel was breaking into the wedding business so we got unheard of prices. The week before my wedding my sister wanted to book an Airbnb where everyone could stay, and we had a big argument about it unfortunately. If they all bailed on me, I would have been responsible for 10 suites. I feel that their not staying at the resort will cost you an additional $1,000+. If they’re family or close friends could you explain that to them?

I certainly don't blame your guest for shopping around to find the best deal on accommodations. And the fact that you were counting on your wedding guests to subsidize the cost of your wedding isn't your guest's concern. I think you should pay for the day pass on the day of your wedding; guests shouldn't have to pay just to get access to your ceremony and reception. But you don't need to pay for day passes for other, non-wedding days.

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I had save the dates with pricing out as early as January 2019 for my Feb 2020 wedding. This guest understood the number of bookings needed for the wedding incentives (she had her wedding at the same resort) and was one of the first non-family guests to reserve her stay. I was and am prepared for the cost of not meeting the number of reservations. My question was about the day pass for the wedding day and celebrations the day prior to the wedding.

I would pay for both days. As a plus, it would give them an incentive to come to the pre-wedding celebrations!

When you have a wedding at a resort, and your guests have to stay at the resort or pay for a day pass to attend, you are effectively asking your guests to pay for your wedding. (The resort has already collected the charge for the meal from the guest as part of the cost of staying there/day pass, so they typically don't charge you for that.) You should really be having a wedding you can afford, not asking your guests to pay for your wedding. So yes, you should pay for the day passes.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this. I cant stand those DW packages that uses the guests to get the bride and groom a better deal.

I guess i'm not really familiar with how the destination wedding work. the one person that i knew did one only got a free night stay per X amount of guests staying at the resort. It didn't have anything to do with the wedding itself. I don't see how it charges you money for her NOT to stay there and then charge you again for her to attend...

regardless, if its for the wedding unfortunately i think you should pay. best of luck!

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In this case i would pay only for the day of your wedding. The day before i think should be on her - especially since she knew if she stayed in the resort then that would be included with her stay.

You absolutely should be paying for her and her bf's day pass. They were invited to a wedding, that doesn't' mean they're required to stay anywhere specific. If they choose to stay elsewhere, you need to cover the cost of them actually being able to be on your wedding property.

I have mixed feelings about this because all of the information was given so far in advance, and they made the choice to attend. In making the choice I feel it makes them responsible for said expenses. I would feel differently if they weren't aware.

You should definitely pay for the day passes for the day of the wedding, and if you want your friend to attend whatever other plans on the 2nd day you should pay for the passes on that day as well. The day passes are part of the wedding costs.

You can't dictate where your guests stay if you aren't paying for their accommodations and you shouldn't be using them to subsidize your wedding costs. The cost of the wedding isn't the guests' problem. It doesn't matter when save the dates or invitations were sent out, your guests have every right to choose where they stay, and they likely found something more affordable and didn't want to pay more just so you could pay less.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree.

If you let this know in advance I would cover it, however if they didn’t know I might feel a little responsible

View Quoted Comment I also agree. This type of DW structure is off-putting and puts the financial burden on the guests so the couple can get incentives at their guests' expense. Definitely pay for the day passes so they can participate in wedding activities.

You would need to cover the cost for her coming to the wedding and her significant other.
If you made it MANDATORY for people to stay at that resort then that person wouldn’t have that option to do that and you would t have been in this predicament.
For destination weddings, it can be tricky, if it’s a resort type thing you need to be super strict, otherwise anyone can stay anywhere and you’d have a wedding in a more public place.