Destination wedding. shower/i do bbq 1 week after the wedding.

I am having my DW in June. I am not having any bridal party no bridesmaids or groomsmen it’s just me and my fiancé. We are not having a traditional bridal shower since I want my fiancé involved and I want all my guests women and men included to see us before we get married or after. So I invited 90 people to the DW and the CO ED wedding shower/I do bbq we are having. We don’t know if we want it before the wedding or after but we’re leaning towards after because we want to have everyone see us as a newlywed couple! Just so you all know EVERYONE I INVITED TO THE WEDDING SHOWER IS INVITED TO THE DW . Only 20 people are attending my wedding so far. I know I won’t have much more then that. All my guests said they will attend the wedding shower/bbq before or after the wedding when my fiancé and I decide on the date. But DID ANYONE ON HERE EVER HAVE A SHOWER AFTER THE DW? That is all I want to know.
* if you wanna talk about not having gifts I don’t want to hear it. Every bride has gifts at a bridal shower so I’m entitled to have one of my own and i tell them I want no homely gifts only money if they choose to. To many people don’t understand that at a wedding and a shower, gifts are not asked for directly, but they need to be stated so guests know what to get you. Bridal registries and cash registries would never exist if you weren’t supposed to get gifts. I’m tired of being told it’s tacky for saying I want money over pots and pans for our future honeymoon at our shower. Why does everyone say for their shower “im registered at here and here” how is that not tacky then? IT ISNT NEITHER IS MINE!

Here is an invite I got from my friends wedding in May that is requesting money and saying we don’t need to bring money but that is what they want over homely gifts. (I do not want to hear gifts are tacky) I just want people to tell me if they had parties after the wedding and how it went. THAT IS ALL.