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VIP January 2018

Destination wedding problems

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MrsRidley, on December 19, 2016 at 10:47 PM

Posted in Planning 24

So I'm having a huge dilemma with planning a destination wedding. I originally planned a tradition wedding with a church wedding and reception, however, many people gave me the idea of a destination wedding. I looked it up and now I love it and can't take my mind off of it. My original ideas weren't set in stone, they were just ideas. I haven't even put a deposit on a venue being as though my wedding is a little over a year away. My issue comes in where some people are saying they don't have the money for the destination wedding, including my FMIL. She and I are close and talk about everything. However, she downright does not like the idea and says that no one will come (on her side of the family). I can't take my mind off this idea and she completely hates it. She said she will "think about it" but I know she is not down. What do I do?

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24 Comments

VIP March 2017
Laura2.0 · on December 20, 2016 at 9:32 AM
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It's easy to say people who want to be there will make it, but that's not always the case. People have different budgets, they may not be able to get the time off work, they may not be able to travel for a number of reasons. It doesn't mean they don't want to be there.
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Master December 2016
Elizabeth · on December 20, 2016 at 9:49 AM
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Agree with @Laura2.0. This thinking of "whoever wants to be there will" is a bit immature.

FMIL not coming would be a deal-breaker for me. Unless your FH isn't close to his parents at all, he may eventually resent you for putting your vision over his own mother being present. Even after you offer to pay for her lodging, if she doesn't want to come, she doesn't want to come. She could have any number of reasons for it. The bottom line is she doesn't want to travel that far for her son's wedding so IMO, you need to compromise. She isn't any old guest. She's the person who created your FH. She needs to be there.
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Dedicated August 2017
Ashley · on December 20, 2016 at 10:04 AM
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I'm having a destination as well and I just put it in my budget to pay for some family members I really wanted to come that I knew who couldn't afford it. I know that's not realistic for alot people but it's something to consider or with some or just cover hotel accommodations.
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Devoted July 2017
GetMeBodied · on December 20, 2016 at 9:35 PM
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I was 100% sure I was
doing a DW until I ran
the numbers. There
are VIPs in our lives that we would have to sponsor to ensure they could attend. I considered the cost of covering my 2 kids, his 1 son, my mother and his father and realized I would not save money. I also felt a bit guilty about asking close friends and other family members to spend that much on our wedding (I'm easily guilted). With all that in mind, the DW idea was scrapped.
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