Destination wedding problems

Unless she's paying her opinion doesn't really matter, that's not to say you shouldn't consider it since she is your FMIL.

We are having a destination wedding. You should check if your VIPs to see if they can come. Ultimately, you need decide which is more important destination wedding or more people attending the wedding.

Realistically, you are very likely going to have a higher decline rate for a DW. Not everyone can afford it and/or take off time for it. Think of who your VIPs are, those you absolutely have to have with you. Are they able to attend if you do a DW? Eta: Also, some may say now that they can attend, but as the time comes closer things may happen that prevent that from happening. That is something that you should be able to accept and not take personally.

I agree with others about making sure your VIPs, like your FMIL, are able to attend your wedding, destination or not. If you're set on having a destination wedding, are you able to help pay some so FMIL could be there?

My friends went off on their own to Jamaica.....very intimate, had a lovely reception when they got home.

Majority of MY VIPs are able to attend, its my FMIL who has the issue. She like immediately dismissed it as if she didn't even think about it.

If my FILs could not afford to come to our DW I definitely wouldn't have one. It means way too much to us to have them there. You'll have to decide what is most important to you.

Yes I offered to pay for her lodging but she still was not sold. I am also paying for all my bridesmaids lodging, but unfortunately I am not rich and cannot pay for everyone to come along. I can only provide but so much.

You've got a bit of time to think on it. I'm always one for a pro/con sheet!

Where were you thinking about having the wedding? Could you compromise somehow?

Ex:

If it was a far island location, could you compromise and choose a beach within the states?

I would be willing to compromise. I will look up some places in the states. Maybe that will ease the stress of cost a little more. I plan on talking to a travel agent this week to discuss places, prices, and packages

Have you thought through everything? Paying for your bridesmaids accommodations is very generous of you but that's a big expense when you factor in the cost of the wedding, which I can say from personal experience will likely cost you the same as a local wedding. If you add in your extra generosity, I would guess you'll spend more having a DW

I would be concerned if your fmil is so against it. Would she miss the wedding? Are you ok with her not being there? Will she be vocal about not liking the idea throughout the whole process?

I'll tell you I had friends who swore up and down they were coming who are backing out of my DW. If you're already having people be hesitant, I would move forward only if you are ok with a wedding that's just you and your fiance. Life happens for people - they lose their job, they get pregnant, they just don't want to go, they don't have vacation time etc so if you would be upset if people would miss your wedding a DW might not be for you.

On my side, I have 5 family members coming out for my DW so that's a lot of family members missing. I knew that going into this a lot of family probably wouldn't come but I'm not sure if everyone really gets the reality of a DW

We almost did a destination wedding..we thought instead of the Bahamas or something we would do TN or Michigan which is pretty for weddings..it would have been 5 hours driving instead of a plane ride so more could attend. Decide whats best for you and people will make it work if they want to be there. This is your day!

Did your FH talk to your FMIL? I know my FH talked to his parents about the DW before we made the decision. They are not the happiest about it, but they wouldn't miss thier baby boy's wedding. They were surprised because the original place for the wedding was only an hour from their house vs everyone else coming for the wedding was 10-12 hours away (at a minimum). It might be the same there, but I would have him talk to his parents. And then if it is financial and you can help then it is a nice gesture. Also, it is great to pay for your bridal party's accomodation, but will they be bringin SOs? I am paying for two of my bridal party to come and they are sharing a room. I wouldn't pay for my bridesmaids room with their husbands. I would help if I could, but like you I don't have endless funds. Thankfully we had no VIPs say they didn't like the idea, I hope your FMIL comes around if it is what you really want to do.

Florida beaches are amazing, if you decide to stay in the states

We're in the same boat. Well I'm set on one, but FH doesn't think his family would be willing to go. Although he thinks a beach in the states would work better.

I think she could also use some time to sit on it. We live in Seattle and are sort of having a DW (my family from MO, his from MA). When we first told everyone the wedding would be here we were literally met with crickets and silence. No one was overly thrilled about it at first but we were afraid of playing favorites with one city and only one side of the family traveling. After a while they started looking at Seattle and realized they could make a fun trip out of it since they had never visited before. Maybe show them all of the cool stuff there is to do?

I was in the same boat, I really wanted a DW but my VIPs including FMIL mentioned it would put them in a tight spot financially so we decided against it. Having our VIPs present at our wedding was more important than they type of wedding.

At first, everyone turned there nose up at my DW in Mexico idea. About a month later everyone was on board. If its what YOU want, do it. People who want to be there will make it.

We are doing a destination wedding too (in Florida... we are from Wisconsin). We had an issue with my mom! She was very much against the idea. We figured out she couldn't get past the idea of having a church wedding like she had dreamed of. When we told her, she voiced her objections. We waiting a bit and then told her that we loved her and she could decide. But that this was our wedding and this what we wanted to do. She could come if she wanted to or not. It took her a bit but then she got on board somewhat. She still voices her objections every now and then but for the most part she has been good. We also gave all of our bridal party and guests at least a years notice that we were doing this. Then for all birthdays and Christmas's we gave gift cards for flights down there or gas gift cards. That kind of thing to off set the cost of the wedding. Remember this is your and your FH wedding. You need to do what is right for you! Make sure to talk to him about it and then make your decision.