Destination wedding guest

Sadly, this is one of the downsides of a DW- not everyone you would like to be their will be able to. But don't count your chickens before they hatch. Wait until you send out invitations and get RSVP's back.

Op - i saw your comment. I get it. It definitely hurts when I see guests who aren't coming to my DW book vacations to Italy, block island, etc right around the same time. But the thing to remember is that it's their money and their prerogative how to spend it. Some people just don't want to go where your wedding is, don't like traveling, would rather take a family vacation instead of a DW, or are avoiding areas with Zika (not sure if yours is zika free or not) and that is the downfall of a DW

I get how you are feeling but that happens with destination weddings. Some of my best girlfriends didn't come to my destination wedding even after they said they would. When it comes down to money and taking time off, you can't get upset. I was upset for a while but then you move on and enjoy the time you have with those that are able to make it. You should and have to brush it off..

We invited 110 to our DW, 50 accepted and 46 attended. We sent STDs a year in advance, but some of the guests (including 2 of the BP) didn't even book their travel until a month beforehand. Don't micromanage their travel process. If they RSVP yes, the plan to go. Leave it at that, no need to hound people for responses until the RSVP due date.

Part of having a destination wedding is realizing that a lot of people might not be able to attend. Just because they have good jobs and you think they can afford it, doesn't mean that it's actually possible for them. What if they are struggling financially and don't want to tell anyone? What if they can not take the time off of work? What is they are pregnant or trying to become pregnant and are unsure if they will be able to travel? There are so many things that they could be considering. Do not let this ruin your friendships. Be understanding of what ever their situation is and know that they can still be supportive and happy for you even if they are unable to attend.

And stop bugging them about it. Constantly asking just makes people annoyed. When they make a decision the will let you know.

@JandJin - while you might feel a slight pinch of jealousy/annoyance, etc. when you see them traveling to other places, or purchasing luxury items, understand that they can do what they want with their money. Maybe they don't WANT to go to your wedding.

Just out of curiosity, this is a wedding right, not a vow renewal? Just wanted to confirm.

@GymRat I am actually really glad I asked this question because the responses have been so eye opening for me. I am acting like a little bratty child right now and needed all theses comments for me to realize it.. LOL. It's easier to assume people have money, or WANT to come to your wedding, or have the time off for vacation, when in reality they may not. GEEZE..someone needs to slap me.

I think I was initially shocked because I just assumed that it was a no brainer..why wouldn't you go to a DW with all your friends, but not every thinks like me or has the same reaction to things as I do.

And yes, it is a wedding! :-)

@Private_User832 It now all makes sense. I think I just needed opinions from a different perspective! It does hurt..I think because it's not what I had expected..I just assumed they would go. It's definitely not worth ruining a friendship over. Thanks for your input!

I would not let their decison to attend your wedding or not ruin a friendship. Comitting to a destination wedding as a guest takes a lot it planning, money, taking time off, making arrangements for pets, etc. I would accept that some people may not be able to come and not take it as a personal insult if they decline.

Oh, I totally get it. It'll be a fabulous vacation for those who do go! Jamaica is lovely!

I'm really encouraged to see your replies OP, and I hope you stick around here and share your plans with us because I for one love seeing gorgeous DW pics!

I would have a hard time getting out to attend a DW because my FH and I have a two week vacation planned and I'm going camping with my BFF this year plus I got a $1000 bill in the mail yesterday plus my dog recently almost died under anesthesia and had to see a cardiologist afterward. My good job is pulling me through, but barely. If another unexpected expense comes up I may find myself struggling.

@orchids oh my goodness I hope your doggy is okay!! I have two fur kitties and one has to go to the wmrgency vet back in December and BST was not cheap! I wish I would have found this site sooner in the wedding process but I'm glad I found it now!! So many helpful things and guidance! I definitely get it now which is why I asked the question. I try not to be too irrational about things. I planned a DW bc I don't think I could have handled the stress of a traditional one!

@Kate Thanks girl!! It's definitely easy to get caught up in all the wedding craziness! A PP said we are not the center of people's universe bc we are getting married which really brought this to light!