Destination Wedding - Grandparents unable to attend

So bothered by it**

Sorry, the rest of the message cut out!

You have to do what you want to do in the end. Talk to FH and see how he feels about it. We are having a destination and booked it knowing that my grandparents would most likely not be able to attend - my grandfather had a heart attack last time he traveled that far and they are not in as good of health as they have been in the past.

We still decided to have the destination wedding because it was important to us. We have a videographer so if they are unable to make it we will be going to see them and showing them the video the first moment we have a chance

I think this really depends on what FH thinks. For you, having your grandparents there may be a priority, but he may not feel the same way. It could also be that no matter where you have the wedding, given there health, it would be hard for them to attend.

Whenever brides ask if they should change their date due to family health issues (i.e., moving a wedding up b/c their mother/father was diagnosed with a terminal illness), I always bring up the few examples of brides who did this, only to have that loved one be too sick to attend due to treatments or pass before the wedding could even happen. It is very sad, but just remember you never know what the future holds, and a lot can happen in 11 months.

I would leave this up to your FH and his family.

this is a risk that you take with a destination wedding - many people may not be able to go for a MULTITUDE of reasons. Travel, $$, time off work, etc. The list is much longer for a destination wedding than it is for a local wedding. Truly, if my best friend asked me right now to go to her destination wedding in Mexico, I would decline. I just can't afford it.

Make sure you and FH are on the same page as far as priorities and go from there

I think ultimately it is up to you and your FH. My grandparents aren't going to be at my wedding, which really, really bums me out. Paternal grandpa died when I was 8, materal grandpa diet in May of this year. My grandmas are both in a nursing home. One could probably make it to the ceremony if the wedding were in my hometown, but it's not. We made the decision to have our wedding near where FH and I live together, which is 3 1/2 hours from most of my family and 5 1/2 from most of his family. It was tough to make that decision, because I always pictured my grandparents at my wedding. At the end of the day though, I would have to sacrifice the wedding that I wanted, in order to MAYBE have one grandma be able to attend. I am having my florst incorporate a rosary that my grandparents gave me when I made my first communion into my bouquet, and I have a momento from my other grandpa as well.

The elderly not making it is one of the big down-sides of a DW. it's kinda to be expected before you decide on one so I think it's silly that this is an issue now.

if it's important, change. if it's not, get on that plane.

I would get FH's opinion if he feels strongly about it I would have it closer to home.

I agree, I would check with FH and then decide based on what FH has to say. Have you considered maybe setting up a Skype or something like that so that the grandparents could see the ceremony "real time" instead of after the fact?

While not exactly the same situation, one of my FH's aunts is in frail health and my FMIL and other sisters think she has dementia. My FH discussed with his mother and she told us that we should not invite her. If nothing else, she has to rely on family to take her anywhere she needs to go and FMIL doesn't want anyone to have to leave early to drive her home.

Plan something special with the grandparents when you return like bringing them cake or go through your professional pictures with them or plan a special photo session with the two of them when you return. Have your FH call them on the wedding day and enjoy your destination wedding!

I agree with what everyone posted above- talk to your FH and see what he thinks. I am also having a destination wedding and am bummed that my grandmom won't be able to make it due to being old and frail (she's 90) but my FH and I had already discussed this when making the decision to get married in Jamaica. I am glad I decided to go with my heart and do a DW anyway because my grandmom didn't even attend my cousins wedding a few weeks ago which was local. This confirmed the fact that she wouldn't attend our wedding due to her health no matter where we get married. I have no idea if this is similar to your situation but just something to consider.

We are having a DW in Mexico and it is understood that my grandparents will not attend. But then they wouldn't attend if we had a wedding at home in DC either. They live in MI, they don't travel at all, etc.

At first, I was upset but to be quite honest, now I think about it and they would not enjoy our wedding. It's going to be a party and my grandparents like to sit at home in front of their shows. Loud music and noise is not their thing. Since I really can't justify a wedding for them, I opted to stop worrying about it at all.

Do what YOU want to do. If that's a DW, then go for it.

If your heart is set on the destination wedding and the location, then do it! See if you can find an inexpensive wedding package including your location that includes pictures and video so you can share them with family/friends/grandparents when you return.