Destination wedding deposit cut off date

I would never book (even a deposit) a vacation without guaranteeing that my husband would be able to get the time off and his job doesn’t guarantee vacation time that far in advance. I also think you might have people willing to put a deposit down who will then back out right before payments are due because they realize they can’t go so just keep that in mind. 10 months is a long time. It’s really hard for people to be able to say whether they can or can’t do something next fall. We had friends have a DW this past January and a month before the wedding date several people who had put deposits down changed their mind and canceled their reservation.

View Quoted Comment They can back out. The deposit to to hold the room and price. I am very certain that my headcount will change, however I know the people that I am dealing with 😊. I would think guest would arrange time off in advance. It’s no different than planning vacations in advance.

I do understand where you're coming from with guests requesting time off in advance, but I wouldn't expect most people to be able to do so until AT LEAST the first of the year. My job is pretty lax with vacation time, we just put it on a shared department schedule. But my FH works for UPS and they don't start designating vacation times until January at the earliest (it's based on seniority so each person has a deadline to choose their preferred dates). 10 months is a long time in advance even for a personal vacation, let alone someone else's wedding. Especially with the holidays coming up, I wouldn't expect very many people to be able to make that December deadline.

Wow that’s a really early RSVP. So much can happen in 10 months. Did the venue actually need it that early?? If not why would you push people to give it to you. We had a DW and the count was due about 7 days in advance. I realize there are limited rooms and prices will go up, but that’s on them to worry about. Most people won’t plan that far out so be prepared for your numbers to change a lot. Good luck.

View Quoted Comment I totally understand your point of view and value your opinion. I feel more at ease knowing that I sent a memo out in case rooms become unavailable or the resort fees increase. I sent invites out in June, bc it was requested by my family and friends to receive them in advance. Thank you 🧡

View Quoted Comment Hello Cyndy, I needed it not the resort. Yes a lot can change, and i am okay with that. I need an idea of whose coming. I’m not asking anyone to pay in full, simply a deposit to hold the room and price. If they drop out like flies, I’m okay with that. What I’m not okay with, is last minute bookings. Everyone has their way of doing things. This route will benefit both myself and my prospective guest. Thank you 😊

If the resort doesn’t need it, I would at least wait until the end of January. This is honestly the worse time in multiple ways...peoples PTO hasn’t reset for 2020, people are in the middle of holiday craziness including th is being the most expensive time of year (to have an extra 200 expense). Asking people to commit by December 19th (the week before Xmas!) will basically mean some people decide they can’t go, who would have been able to make it with more time to plan.


Ultimately it’s your wedding and your call.

View Quoted Comment Hello Natalie, invites were sent out 5 months ago so I don’t feel bad about the holidays. I do respect your opinion and see where you are coming from.

Ultimately, its your wedding, so do what you think is best, but I do think it is a little soon for a deadline, especially for October. I might wait until at least the end of January, especially considering the time off argument. I know personally, at work our 2020 calendar is frozen until the first of the year (so I cant even take of time for my own wedding yet).

If you really want this deadline, then I would ask if the deposit is refundable and make that information clear to the guests. If it is, that might change things as people could put the deposit down even if they weren't sure and get it back later if things just don't pan out. I may also add a suggestion of a place or two near the resort where they could stay. That could help people either commit or understand their options.
Honestly, I agree with the milestones and deadlines. But I would treat this more like a milestone but not a final deadline. More of a friendly reminder that space is limited and prices change. I know that people have had this information for a while and have time to get everything together, which I think is great, but also understand different people have different circumstances and its not always cut and dry.

We wouldn't be able to RSVP or pay a deposit that far in advance due to our jobs. Are you saying that you won't allow anyone to attend the wedding who doesn't RSVP 10 months in advance? If so, that's really harsh. People can book last minute if they want to. They also don't have to stay at that particular resort. You can't require they stay there if you're not paying for their accommodations.

View Quoted Comment I love love love your response! Thank you so much. I will def treat this like a milestone. The Destination wedding I attended last month was for my fiancé’s brother. Guest were scrambling around bc they waited until the last minute, then blamed the groom n bride for not sending invites out in advance etc. I’ve learned so much from their planning and want a better outcome.

This is your wedding and your timeline. As long as you’re aware that it’ll change (which you mentioned you understand and are ok with) then I think it’s great. You’ve worded it beautifully and it’s not pushy or rude in any way. You clearly know your guests and this gentle reminder will help people start to make arrangements. Sounds like an incredible wedding!!!!

Some people are planners and some are procrastinators, so good thing you gave everyone a heads up earlier than later.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Elizabeth. You hit it on the nail. I think it’s because of the group of guest that are invited. I love them to death, however they tend to move their feet a little slower and sometimes need gentle reminders. Everyone responded to my memo and those who need more time can get more time. Life happens and I’m prepared to deal with the changes 😊

I think it’s great that you are getting the information out to everyone early. I’m also planning a destination wedding for February. We didn’t send out invites out until the last week of October, but had sent out save the dates as well as emails and a Facebook group to share all the info ahead of time. We have a December 10th rsvp date for our February 2nd wedding, which gives us wiggle room to collect missing responses before the holiday.

I’m not sure if I’m understanding this correctly, but your resort is closing off the pricing ten months ahead of time? That is very unusual. Mine had the room block open up until last week, which was about 80 days out from the wedding. If it is the resort telling you that you need rooms booked so early, I would ask for an extension. Ten months is a very long time out, and as others have mentioned it can be difficult to request off work that far in advance. Furthermore, a lot can change in that amount of time. You can get pregnant and have a baby in ten months! I personally am not on top of things, and wouldn’t even be considering a wedding that far out. If your guests are able to book after your December 19th date, I would make that known. People like me would end up inadvertently missing your wedding because they didn’t know they could still come if they couldn’t make the commitment that far out. I am totally on board with you wanting to have a final rsvp date, and understand that you’re trying to avoid what happened in the last wedding. However I think you need to have a little more leniency with the response date if it’s not required by the venue.

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You are correct about that, however, not everyone can arrange time off that far in advance. My FH works at a place where you can't ask for time off more than 3 months in advance. So, if we got your invite, we'd have to wait until July before we knew if he'd get the time off to go on the trip. I think that's the main point that others are making here. You say you know your crowd, and that's great! That will help you avoid some stress down the line. I really hope you get a lot of responses, even this early. Like I said, I might want to go, and plan to go, but if my job won't let me off, there's nothing I can do. Just keep that in mind.

View Quoted Comment Hello Cristy, I agree. Everyone responded and appreciated my nudge. I didn’t do room blocks and I explained this to everyone. I will make exceptions for people who communicate to me about any situation that may arise. Everyone’s different. I have several people who booked in July. Some people are early birds and some are last minute. I hope everyone understands. The deposit isn’t a commitment, is to allow them to make payments if they need that and also to reserve their room. Thank you

View Quoted Comment Hello Jeanie, congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I chose not to do room blocks bc FH and I would be responsible for the rooms held if no one booked them. My DW is a bit pricey, so I sent invites and save the dates 15 months in advance, to give guest enough time to get things in order. This was communicated to everyone. I am close to everyone who I invited, so if they need special arrangements or more time they can contact me. I don’t think I can wait 3 months before my wedding for
RSVPS, when invites went out 15mths prior. It’s like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. I like to plan ahead 😊.

Personally I think this totally appropriate for a DW, especially one like yours outside of the US! Since you said they can cancel if unforeseen circumstances happen, I don't see a problem with it!

I would also feel that I would need to send out a notice in advance for a DW but personally, it would be difficult for me to know my personal schedule since I am not able to request off until 3 months from the date. As a guest, I would think that would be fine but if I was part of the bridal party, I would be afraid to accept not knowing if I would have to back out so close to the wedding and leave you and the others picking up my slack.