Destination Wedding & At Home Celebration

There's no need for your bridal party to wear their dresses unless the original dresses were all different and could be worn to other events. The idea of your attendants wearing matching gowns to a post wedding party sounds a little odd. I'd say the same thing about wearing your wedding gown. A white cocktail dress sounds nice -- very appropriate, actually. At the end of the day, this is a party, not a wedding, so you can have a little fun with your wardrobe and leave the wedding gown at home.

The thing to remember is that this is a celebration of a marriage that has already taken place. You had a full, traditional wedding and reception, albeit in Jamaica, and there's really no need to make this event look and feel like the conventional reception you already had, but the guests didn't see.

I'm a firm believer in hosting all social events in a manner that is equal to the occasion at hand. In other words, it's a party celebrating your marriage. Make it look like a party. Destination weddings are fabulous, but when a couple chooses to have one, they know the decline rate is going to be high. I think it's terrific that you want to host a party in honor of this milestone event, but I would plan a party that has little resemblance to a structured wedding reception -- and I always say the top three must-haves at a successful party are good food, good cocktails, and good entertainment.

I've been to a second wedding reception (held for the groom's family members who lived several states away from the bride's home state -- the state in which the original wedding was held). The party itself was fantastic -- great food (and plenty of it), full top shelf open bar, great party venue, terrific entertainment, and with the exception of 4 or 5 conventional tables for the oldest family members, it was all high boy tables and upholstered furniture. It was fantastic, but there was one element that felt a little out of place, and that was the couple's choice to put everyone -- including themselves -- back into their wedding outfits.

So, that's my advice. Have your wonderful party, but keep in mind that despite the fact that you can't reproduce a sacred ceremony, you can certainly celebrate the fact that it happened. Leave the pomp and circumstance behind and just have an amazing party.

Don't know why I'm getting so many duplicate posts!

The son of a friend of ours got married out of state (where the bride's parents lived). The groom's parents hosted a reception here for them a couple of weeks later. The groom wore a tux and the bride wore her gown. I think most of us enjoyed seeing them in their wedding finery. I don't even remember if there were the typical dances (they probably did that at the first reception). But, good food and lots of fun at the second reception!

My cousin had her ceremony in her home state with her and her parents, then a reception the next year with all of our family. There was a vow renewal so she still had a ceremony like thing, and she wore the same wedding dress she did at the vow renewal. So wear the dress again. Especially if you love it.

The bridesmaids, maybe not include bridesmaids at the at home reception. If you do, use the same dresses so they don't have to spend more money!

When my brother and sister in law got married they did a small wedding at my parents house and then an anniversary celebration the following year to include more people. My sister in law had her original dress shortened to cocktail length, it looked great! I was in the bridal party and we all wore our dresses again. I didn't mind wearing the dress again at all!

Thanks everyone for your great advice so far. I was leaning more towards wearing a white cocktail dress and having the bridesmaids and groomsman wear what they'd like. My grandparents, mom and FMIL would like to see all of us in the same outfits (they want to rewear their dresses also). They think it would be nice for the people who don't come to Jamaica see us in our wedding attire and I don't disagree there. And the reason why I'm on the fence about making it reception-like is that, in Jamaica, there is not traditional reception- it's a dinner with all the guests after the ceremony. But at the same time the at home venue isn't exactly a wedding venue. But as I said, either way we're definitely going to do the dances because I don't want to rob my parents of that and of course I'd like to do an official first dance with my husband! Thanks again for the advice!

I had a similar situation! I'm from the US (where the wedding was) but live in Spain, where my husband is from and I've been living for over 4 years. Obviously all of the Spaniards and friends of mine living over here couldn't make it to the wedding, so we had a back home reception in Spain a month after the wedding.

Instead of a traditional sit down dinner, we had a cocktail party with tons of passed food and drinks, music and dancing. I didn't wear my wedding dress again, I went for a champagne colored evening gown instead with a matching headpiece, he wanted to wear his tux again though lol. It was still an elegant event, but less formal than the actual wedding and without the traditional wedding stuff (cake, first dances etc.), although we did get to show our wedding video, which everyone loved. It was a celebration more than a second wedding, if that makes sense.

ETA: Photo of the dress

Have you thought about livestreaming your wedding from Jamaica so that friends and family can participate that can't make the trip?

I think a celebration at home is great! But it's not your wedding. Your wedding will be in Jamaica, so it would be kind of silly to wear your wedding dress to this party. I say get one of your wedding shots blown up to poster size, frame it, and hang it in the main room of the party, maybe above a mantle or something. That way, guests can see you in your wedding attire, but you're not dressed as if the party is your wedding/reception since it's not.

We had an involuntary DW (since same-sex marriage was not legal here at the time), and then an at-home reception. We really thought of the at-home reception as our primary reception. The one after the ceremony was a lunch in the private dining room of a restaurant--just a dozen people and no music, dancing, etc. The cake was just slices of cake for dessert--no formal wedding cake, and no cake-cutting.

At the at-home reception, we had a video of the ceremony and had copies of the ceremony programs available. We wore our dresses and reused the ceremony decor:

* The chuppah (wedding canopy) went over the cake table.

* The ketubah (formal Jewish wedding contract) was on display on an easel.

* The sashes we had used on the ceremony seats were used on the reception seats.

The at-home reception was also where we had the formal wedding cake (including the cake-cutting), music, dancing (including the first dance), and photobooth.

I think that there is a tremendous amount of variation. If you have a traditional reception after your DW, you may not want to have another similar party at home. But some people, at least, think of the at-home reception as the primary one, and treat it more like a regular wedding reception.

I am doing this exactly and no one's advice would change my mind about it.

I am getting married in the USVI on 5/5 - most of the bridal party cannot make it, nor can the guests even though everyone is welcome. Because of this, we are having an at-home reception/celebration of our marriage. It's going to shake out exactly like a regular reception. I'm wearing my dress, the bridal party is wearing their dresses, the groomsmen will be dressed up. We will take photos beforehand of the entire bridal party and they will be introduced and sit with us at dinner. We are doing the cake cutting, dancing, the whole shebang and I'm ecstatic about it! I will probably have video of the ceremony playing on a TV in the lobby for guests. A lot of people don't make it to the ceremony anyways, so I don't see the difference! I'm still wining and dining my guests the way any bride would.

It's definitely up to you and the answer can vary with each situation. I think in your situation either can be appropriate. Maybe wait and see how many RSVP's come back saying that they are going to the Jamaica wedding. If a lot of people are going there, I feel like there's no reason to make your at home celebration a traditional reception. If there are a lot of people who don't show up to Jamaica, maybe make the at home celebration more traditional with the gown and the bridal party dressed in their wedding attire. Either way it'll be great I'm sure!