Destination Bachelorette: Do bridesmaids have to pick up brides airfare/hotel

1) I would decline the invite. Too much.

2) If you do go, you (imo) should not be responsible for getting the bride to/from the destination.

3) those going to a bachelorette party pay for the bride's entertainment, dinner and drinks.

You can if you would like but if you think its to much then dont. All of the destination bachelorette parties I have been to have been the bride paying for her own travel and everyone else footing the bill for the activities while she is there. Just tell them what you feel comfortable contributing.

I actually think if the bridal party is planning a destination trip for a bachelorette - they should pay for the bride's travel costs.

But in this case, the moh didn't ask you. So I would decline if you can't go or suggest something more affordable. Unless the bride is suggesting the travel, I think it's unfair to plan something like that and then make her pay. The event is for her so I'd try to come up with a more affordable option everyone is happy with. If the moh is insistent, then I'd decline.

This is coming from someone though who told her moh not to plan a trip like this to save those attending money so I would be annoyed if I was expected to pay for travel if I suggested something local to keep costs down and the group then decided to do a trip or for a bride who had no say and then was told she owed money

For mine I paid for my own airfare and park tickets for universal. I refused to let them pay for that for me. Seeing as there was only 4 of them the expenses were higher as opposed to more people to split costs.

ETA: don't feel bad if you have to decline due to finances. Don't stress yourself out over it.

Personally, if I were the bride and I knew this was happening, I would definitely say I was paying for my airfare, possibly my hotel. My girls and I are doing an overnighter a few hours away from where we live and my MOH refused to tell me where we were staying or how much it was and split it between everyone else coming but it's nowhere close to $1000 each for them, not even $100 each. I personally think bachelorette's have gotten out of hand. I live within driving distance of Vegas so that's pretty typical here and won't break the bank for anyone. But one of my girlfriend's wanted to have my bachelorette in Miami (cross country flight) and another one wanted to do a week in Cabo. Adding up the costs was a disastrous headache.

It's unfair to ask the bride to pay her way either if she had no say in it. Whoever decided on a destination bachelorette should be the one paying.

Airfare? Absolutely not! As a bridesmaid or just bachelorette party attendee I've always pitched in towards the cost of the bride's hotel room, but we always have 4 girls per room so it's always a really small amount each person contributes.

I'm a bride who had bachelorette party in Vegas (with everyone flying from the east coast). I paid for my own flight, treated the group to dinner one night by hijacking the check, bought favors and made hangover kits for everyone, and I had "my sister" pay for half of our bottle service at the club and at a pool party. I do have a real sister, she just wasn't there and it was me paying for it My friends wanted to fight me on the "bride" paying for things but were happy to accept money when "my sister" paid for it!

Attending bachelorette weekends with my friends, we always split the bride's hotel cost, her meals, and buy her drinks throughout the weekend. We normally have a group of 10-12 people so it has never been expensive!

I wanted a destination bachlorette and because of that, I offered to rent an apartment/house for the BP (for two nights) since I was asking them to fly halfway across the country. Further, I purchased my flights before anyone made it an issue. Regardless though, I personally wouldn't want my BP to be paying for my accommodations and flight to the bachelorette in addition to their own.

I'd be bailing on this one, but I think multi-day big $$$ bachelorettes are nuts. Asking people to chip in 1000+ for a party is ridiculous. If you're at 3000.00 already, without her transportation, I'd be declining.

But's that just me.

No, absolutely not. You pay for you, if you can afford it, and maybe split the bride's dinner and drinks one night. Whoever planned this should make sure the bride is on board too. No one should be forced to pay if htey can't afford it.

No. Just no. People don't have unlimited funds for this stuff. "I am sorry. I won't be able to participate."

And don't let them sucker you into paying for part of the bride's stuff if you aren't going.

Ugh that's super annoying. My bridesmaids are throwing a two night bachelorette party for me, but a part of that is just logistics because none of us live in the same city so everyone has to travel no matter what. And I'm definitely paying for my own airfare at the very least. If this is the bride's idea, she should be paying to get herself to Vegas. And if it's someone else's idea and she can't afford the flight, she should be suggesting something local. Either way, you shouldn't be paying to get her there. Dinner and drinks, sure. Hotel, ok. But flights are a bridge too far in my opinion.

Did the MOH not ask for anyone's input and just plan this all herself?

Might just be me but as a bride I'd be paying for my own airfare. also, i wouldn't expect every meal to be paid for- its a nice gesture but this bach trip seems like its too much. the MOH seems sweet but ppl have lives/bills outside of the wedding too

MMB: Yes how I said it was what she wrote, I wasnt consulted or anything before this

I am thinking about writing back, saying, "I am fine traveling for the destination bachelorette as I know I live far away for everyone, but with traveling twice and the other wedding expenses, I dont think I would be able to contribute to the brides flight/hotel at this time. I know at past bachelorettes if the bride wanted a destination bachelorette, she offered to pick up those expenses. If she does not care that much about having it in Vegas, I am happy to come up for a local party, and can look into planning a night out"..hopefully this sounds fair?

Personally, I love destination bachelorette. Any excuse to vacation with my friends!

Every time I've gone to one, the bride has paid for her own transportation but her room and meals have been split between the other attendants.

Were you even ASKED about the plans or just told what they were? Its even more bullshit if you werent even in on the decisions on what to do.

Ellsy62: Told, which is another reason Im annoyed. Had they asked up front what I was ok with, I would have said, I am fine splitting decorations, food and drinks with the other attendees, but I dont think I can pick up the flight and hotel, so please ask the bride if she would want to travel to her bachelorette or stay local

That sounds like a lot for the Brides expense! Truthfully, as a bride I would be embarrassed if my bridal party had to pay that much money for me and with that being said, I attended a bachelorette party within driving distance and just pitched in for hotel and expenses for dinner and stuff. I planned another one in Austin (we live in SoFlo) and I mysely paid for her plane ticket. I did it because I wanted to and it wasnt more than $300 some other friends tried to pitch in but I just asked them to pay a little more for the hotel. Mine was planned in Nashville they all pitched in and no one would take my money. One day I bought them all lunch and dinner because I couldn't be okay with them covering all my costs! They got mad but I didn't care. I will also add, the 3 destination parties were planned around what location could be the cheapest for everyone. I am sure finding a different location would be much cheaper than what ever they are trying to plan because $3000 is not okay.

The MOH definitely should have consulted with at least the bridal party before she made plans. Full disclosure, I think destination bachelorettes are ridiculous. No wonder so many people say they can't afford a house when they spend this kind of money on one party.

If you want to go, contact the MOH and tell her exactly what you can afford, and that having not been consulted when she made the plans, you are unable to stretch your budget any further.