Destination bachelor expenses

By being honest and letting her know you just can't right now. Then make plans for a weekend visit soon

I am sure she will understand if you can't make it. Shit happens and you are planning a wedding yourself. I would send her a gift for sure if I were you, and don't stress yourself so much over it I know you want to be there for her.

WOW! Where is her bachelorette party happening? That's a lot for a weekend for sure. I spent less than that that when I was HOSTING a bachelorette. I would just be honest and say, while you would love to attend, you just can't swing it right now.

When is her wedding? Could you maybe get there a day early (like on Thurs if her wedding is on Sat) and take her out for drinks?

I wouldn't go

I don't travel out of town for showers or bachelorettes as a rule. I wouldn't expect anyone to for mine either. Most people have to budget to travel for the wedding and that's way too much for. A lot of people.

I can't ever do things like that because of finances.

Hell...I have friends coming IN TO town (I'm in Vegas) and most of the time, I STILL can't meet up with them because we're too broke.

I'm sure she'll understand...that's a lot of money for a weekend...

All my friends have done bachelorette destination parties too, since we're all spread out. I feel your pain! I luckily can afford to attend using savings/tweaks in my budget, but it sickens me to think of the money I've spent sometimes.

What about if you have a bottle of champagne delivered to her hotel room or at dinner one night? I was at a bachelorette party last year and the bride's coworker/friend who couldn't attend had champagne sent to our table (she talked to the other girls attending about our plans so she knew where we'd be.) It was a nice surprise and the bride was so touched!

I'm sorry, but that's ridiculous. The whole bachelorette and bachelor thing has gotten out of control. When I got married 2000 years ago, we all went out for grilled mastodon and wine. The end.

Get together when you get back. I"m sure you're not the only one bailing on it because of the money, which is tons.

Lol @Celia 2000 years ago

FH & I have a deal that we don't attend out of town extravagant bach parties. Not because we don't love our friends or want to but because we have a lot of expenses that need to come first. Honestly, if I'm taking time off and spending that much money then I want it to be for a vacation for us. A friend of mine is going to Iceland for 4 days for her friend's bach party. That's nice of those girls but seriously I think its obnoxious to ask people to do that.

Your friend should understand that she is asking a lot and people may not be able to attend.

It's OK not to go. FH went to a bachelor party in San Diego last year for his cousin. No one was from San Diego. They had fun but it was extremely expensive for everyone to fly, stay and do activities. People should understand that this is a very expensive thing to ask people to do ON TOP OF coming to the actual wedding. Don't feel bad.

I love Celia's comment I wholeheartedly agree that bachelor/ette celebrations have become over the top and unnecessarily expensive.

If you can't afford the destination bachelorette party (most people probably can't afford a $1,000+ weekend), just be honest with her. If you're good friends, she'll understand.

@Celia, lol and I agree!

I would never expect friends to travel for a bachelorette party unless I was footing the bill for everyone.

You're not a bad friend for not being able to go. Finances are personal and so are weekends. When did it become normal to monopolize the whole damn weekend?

Buy her a drink the next time together, or don't. If you're going to her wedding you are supporting her plenty!

She should understand that $1000 is a ridiculous amount for someone to shell out for a bachelorette party. You have nothing to "make up for".

I agree with Celia. The bachelorette stuff is reaching a fever pitch, and it's kind of silly, as far as I'm concerned. Why anyone should feel guilty about not being able to get their hands of $1K in discretionary funds to attend a party is beyond me.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a ladies' night out in celebration of the upcoming wedding -- if -- and that's a big if -- everyone is local enough to make it a one night thing. Life is what it is, and when the BMs are all over the country, maybe you don't get a bachelorette party. The world will not end, the wedding will happen, etc.

I truly don't understand why bachelorette or bachelor parties have become so extravagant. So many times there are people going who don't want to or can't spend that kind of money and feel guilted into it. I think it is completely understandable that you can't attend and I would let her know that and celebrate in another way with her like buying her a drink the next time you're out or get her a fun gift for the Bach she can open that night even though you can't be there

If I am spending $1000 on a trip, it will only be with my FH.

That is a lot of money. We are doing a destination wedding and we are having bachelorette/bachelor parties the night before the wedding. Everyone will already be there and it's not an additional cost to get there. I would let her know that you are unable to attend. She should be understanding.

My best friend had a destination bach party in the Bahamas. I don't even know how much it cost because I knew from the begining I would not be able to afford it. She understood and we got together when she was in town. Thankfully for me, her OOT wedding was in the city I live, so I saw her when she came for her food tasting.

If people can afford a destination bachelorette, why not? For my group of friends it's become the norm. Shelling out the money can be a bit painful, but some of the absolute best memories I have are from partying in Vegas, Miami, and other fun cities with my best friends.

Laura, I'm glad you have a great time with your friends on these out-of-town bachelor/ette parties. And I have to wonder-- how much fun would you have had *in town* and still $1,000 in the bank? I'm with Celia- one night out is all I could possibly ask of my friends, and I didn't even consider asking OOT friends to pay to fly to the comedy club. Clearly, you and I run in different circles.

Grilled Mastadon hahhaaaaa

I just want to go to the Irish pub if I get a bachelorette. We old Irish gals can drink