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Devoted July 2016

Depressed in a LDR

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sarabee, on April 21, 2016 at 11:03 PM

I am in a LDR with my fiancé. We haven't seen each other in a few weeks and every time we talk on the phone it isn't the same. He has been really stressed out working on a graduate thesis, and has sounded pretty stressed out every time we have talked on the phone for the past few weeks, to the point where I'm not even enjoying talking to him. Right now I feel extremely lonely, confused and sad. Does anyone have any helpful ideas? I don't even feel excited about our wedding any more

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Master July 2016
Mrs. Mac · on April 22, 2016 at 8:29 AM
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FH and I have been in a transatlantic LDR for almost 3 years. We have gone up to 6 months without seeing one another and I can totally empathize with how you're feeling right now. FH and I go through phases. We feel strong and have great conversations and Skype sessions for a while and then one of us is stressed or preoccupied and the other is left feeling bereft and like things are "off" and "distant." FH and I have an internet voice call each evening on my way home from work because it's his bedtime. I'm just getting off of work for these calls and he is winding down for bed and is exhausted, so he usually seems spacey and distant. Even though I understand why, it still sucks to be the only one fully present in the conversation. I used to take it out on him, but it's not his fault. Now I just chalk it up to one of the MANY things that suck about being several time zones apart.

You're in the home stretch! You just have to tough out the next few months and you're there. That's what keeps me going.
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Master July 2017
BookcaseHat · on April 22, 2016 at 9:32 AM
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Hang in there! FH and I were long distance for eight years (!) during college and grad school. This crappy part will be over before you know it.
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Devoted April 2018
MrsHToBe · on April 22, 2016 at 9:39 PM
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Following, because come August I will be in a LDR for a year and it will be great to have this as a reminder when/if this happens! Good Luck OP!
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Dedicated September 2016
Cass · on April 23, 2016 at 5:43 AM
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Date night ! I'm in a LDR too and every week or two we eat dinner together over video chat. And we also watch movies together. Let him know you need a date night once he's done with his work. Maybe to celebrate it being finished.its really hard especially planning a wedding without him but there are things you can do to feel that closeness agian it just requires your schedules to match up.
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