Deposits?

Most timelines suggest locking down your venue before you sign contracts with any other vendors. You don't really have a "date" until you have a contracted venue. As much as you love this photographer, what happens if you can't find a venue for the date you've contracted the photographer? Will you lose your deposit with her if you have to change the date? In most cases, everything else follows the venue(s) (if they are separate for the ceremony & reception). Good luck!

Get the venue situated first then trickle down to the other vendors.

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We wanted to do that we tried to do that the last few months but things with my planner kept coming up . Thats the stressful part when she filled out the contract but without the venue and my planner is good friends with her the reason he wanted us to meet with her is because she will do our engagement shoot so we can get the ball rolling. My fiance has been so patient with our planner and this whole process and doesnt seem worried we havent put anything down and we are doing things out of order it bothers me we are 4 months in today on April 1st and nothing has been put down. Its driving me nuts. He sent us a timeline and so far nothing is following the timeline we should have had our venue by now and the photographer it has given me anixety.

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Thats what i want to do but our planner just lost his grandmother a few weeks ago and he had to cancel our venue tours last week and its been a nightmare . i am growing more and more impatient and frustrated my fiance isnt too concerned that we havent put anything down yet. I am afraid when i go dress shopping in sept i wont even have my dress and basically we will still have nothing put down this makes me feel like less of bride and not special. I am all for details and deadlines.

View Quoted Comment It sounds like the planner is the issue. I would get rid of them if they are stressing you out this much.

First, if you haven’t already set a budget for your overall wedding. Then use the vendor search on here and the knot to request information from venues. Ask them for information on pricing, what they offer, and capacity. Pick a few to tour, and then pick one to lock down.

I agree with PP, you need to get a venue before you book anything else. You also have plenty of time. Im getting married this September, and just got engaged/started planning in the end of December.

Just take deep breaths, relax by just remembering this is literally one day in your life and it will all work out!

Do you need to have the planner with you in order to your venues? Also, I really don’t mean to sound harsh, but if your FH isn’t able to come up with the money for the photographer for another month, perhaps you should choose a less expensive photographer? Once you choose a venue there will also be deposits for that, then a caterer, and so many more things. Will those each take another month to save up funds? Perhaps you need to talk to him and discuss a budget based on what you’re both able to afford in total.

View Quoted Comment Everything will be perfect. You guys have plenty of time. Honestly I ditched the wedding planner and only got a day of planner. Me and my fiancé booked our venue tours ourselves and went to see them. I like being in control of things and making sure I’ve done my part. We get married next March. We have been planning since March 2018. I didn’t get my other vendors until closer to the end of 2018 and with all the time in between saved up the money to pay the deposits and I’m almost done with paying the smaller vendors off. Big deep breathes. Nothing to fret. You guys have everything under control.

I am trying to be understand with my planner he is really good but even from day one when we met with him to pay for his services he had mishap after mishap. He gave us a good deal on his services since he plans alot of the weddings for students at my university hes just really hard to get ahold of and takes forever to get back to me. We hired him because my fiance works full time and i am a full time student so we would have a really hard time sitting down to plan every day or so for our wedding. we have a budget its not too big but not too small either. I might try to contact him this week to see when we can schedule tours I just want some of our deposits paid and our wedding to come to fruition we have been together by june 15th for 3 years and i want us to finally plan our wedding. Sorry if i sound irritable my fiance doesnt seem worried by it and every time i bring up how we arent doing things in the right order he said we should cancel our planner and get our money back he gets mad at me like he doesnt understand why i am stressed out when i feel i have the right to be.

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Thank you . Its hard not to Its like as the months keep going on nothing is being paid for or planned it just we keep making appts but no signing of contracts or deposits. I am beyond annoyed and bothered by it. I have been wanting to get married since i was young and the reason we chose sept 12th of next year is because that is the weekend of my 30th birthday. Its just beyond frusrating and overwhelming . I just feel undervalued and not my wedding will happen.

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Your right we probably should the biggest thing when my FH and me sat down with her he seemed so relaxed about meeting with her i really thought we would have smaller payments we could pay not half down. I feel like instead of him saying we should have no problem coming up with the deposit he should just tell me we cant afford in a month. This biggest thing is that I told my planner we needed a less expensive photographer he did that but I guess I should have said alot less. Its just diffcult for me because i am a worrier and I just want to make sure we meet deadlines. I just look forward after our wedding is done and we can get this planning behind us.

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Your have over a year until your wedding your dress can wait. Secure the venue first and then the caterer if it doesn't come with the venue and I promise you everything will fall into place after that. As far as the photographer I know you like her work but if money/deposits is an issue I would suggest trying to go with a more affordable photographer. Maybe reach out to a photographer student they may do it for cheap or free because you're helping to build their portfolio/giving them experience. Maybe place an add on craigslist or social media. Reach out to some of the colleges in your area.

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I think the biggest thing my fiance wants is to give me a good wedding . I feel upset we had even met with her because I feel I will let down again because of not locking anything down I want to believe my FH can come up with the money but it's hard. She the photographer added me on fb she said if we don't pay her soon we may lose our chance at her. I wish good wedding didn't have to revolve around money . I want to wait the month to see if my fiance can come up with the money if not I need to swallow my hurt and look into cheap options .

Why can't you go look at these venues without the planner? I don't have a planner I'm doing it all on my own with my family n bridemaids help too. I've already got venue booked n photographer booked n hoping to get the dj book n talking to different flower vendors and still gotta get catering booked.

You can do all that without a help from a wedding planner.

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I just dont know anything about weddings i was engaged once when i was just 20 years old and honestly this is my second engagement. I dont even know what questions to ask but the reason we wanted our planner to plan the venue tours is because he knows of good places to book and honestly I wish i had family to help me my own family was abusive to me growing up the family i care about live out of state. 4 months in with planning and nothing to show for it. It really doesnt help my fiance will say what he likes for budget and such but its sad and discouraging when we have nothing to show. Every time I get like this and get frustrated and upset he said I need to let our planner to do his job and its what we paid him for its just really sad wedding planning would be mainly fun its supposed to be the biggest day of my life but i feel like i am undervalued and like i dont feel like a bride.

I would ditch the planner and find answers here or on Google about what to ask places. I also would push back the wedding. If you are paying for it yourselves and don't know if you're going to be able to come up with the deposit for the photographer, then you can either elope and not do a wedding now, or have a small wedding. Then a year or two have a renewal of vows and have the wedding you dream of. It would be a whole lot less stressful.

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I have suggested to FH about eloping and he was like i will never support that. He wants us to have a good wedding because this will be our only wedding. I feel like the biggest thing is he doesnt see how much it adds up. He set our budget as 10K for our wedding for everything. At this point i want a wedding too i dont want to elope he said the reason he doesnt and will never elope with me is because he believe its cheap and doesnt express our love the way it should be . I feel the stress. I am trying to not let it affect my schooling but I also have bipolar disorder and it doesnt help matters. FH is about to get home from work and I feel like if i honestly ask him if he feels we will be able to pay the photographer he will give me the answer he gave me earlier which is he will see where his paychecks lie. I feel if he was going to say that he should have never said to the photographer we would be able to come up with the money in probably a month.

View Quoted Comment You say you have a budget but is it based on what you've been actually saving or just a number you want to spend? If you cant afford to put deposits down, you probably should adjust you budget to what you and your FH can save and you should probably allow yourself some time to save BEFORE you start booking vendors. A deposit on a venue/caterer will most likely be more than the photographer.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. If you don't want to elope the best option is to limit your expectations and have a lot smaller gathering or to push your date back and allow for time to save. Also the focus needs to be on school because that to me is more important than a wedding. I say this as a college senior. The actual wedding does not dictate how much you love your fiance. So it is not a bad thing to push it back. We did a 4.5 year engagement to allow me to focus on school and we are getting married right after I graduate.

Hopefully everything works out.

I mean this in the kindest way possible, but if you are having trouble coming up with deposits for a photographer, why do you have a wedding planner? Wedding planners are pretty expensive and usually aren't used when you are planning a wedding on a smaller budget. I agree with other PP's - find the venue and get that locked down right away. That way you have your date and can go from there.

I agree with so many previous posters

1. You don’t have a date until you have a venue
2. You should be putting a deposit down on a venue first before any other vendors, including a photographer
3. Of course he photographer says she may be booked, she wants to get a deposit and have a guaranteed date on the books. It may be true, she may be bluffing but there are plenty of photographers out there if she does end up getting booked
4. It your budget is 10k I assume that’s what you can come up by the tentative date you have?
5. You are going to have to put deposits down for all your vendors to contract their services. If coming up with deposit for just the photographer is already an issue how are you going to come up with other deposits?