Deployment Call

So yesterday FH got the call that he will most likely be deploying to Cuba for a year beginning in January. I am devastated (which I feel stupid and selfish for feeling because men and women get deployed every day from their families) and it was unexpected being that he is in the reserves (of course we knew he could get deployed at anytime just a shocker with the time frame because he was set to get out in February, a month after he is set to leave) So now I am forced to sit and wait before I can tell the vendors I have booked that we will need to push it out. All of our families and friends have already booked our bachelor/bachelorette cruise that they are going to loose their deposit on which I feel awful for. FH is going to miss other things like my graduation (which I feel stupid for feeling sad over AGAIN because some military members miss their children being born) I am just a hot mess right now and wanted to vent. So overwhelmed and so sad at the possibility of him leaving.