Demanding Bride

I think if you had something specific in mind for the look you wanted them in then you should have just picked the dress. or at least whittled the list down to only the ones you liked. You can't say "choose ANY dress in this color by Dessy" and then say "well not that one, and not that one, and not that one" That is kinda being hypocritical, saying one thing then acting a different way. It's ok if as the bride you want a certain look, but don't expect the bridesmaids to read your mind. either let them choose their own dresses and deal with that or choose it for them, but don't tell them they can choose and then insult their choices. I'm sure you didn't mean to do that, but I think that's how I'd take it in their place. Just make sure you didn't hurt any feelings because they are doing this all for you

Being fair and looking fab can be a challenge even for the least demanding bride.

I would look at the dresses and pick 2 styles from the mix they sent that YOU like. or one you love and one they love.

Give the final two style options to your ladies and tell them that

you feel comfortable with these designs and know they will look GORGEOUS in either one. FLATTER their EGOS!!!

Yes its your day,but giving too many options out of kindness can backfire terribly! I Dont agree on letting the ladies each have their own style on a semi formal wedding, its fine for a casual event.

You may want to play the GENEROUS bride and tie the look together with the same necklace or shawl as a gift.

I made sure that I worded it correctly. My fiance's older sister is who I had to watch my wording with. I just told her the dresses that she chose were more formal than I wanted. Now my sisters, I lived in the same house with those heffas so I'm comfortable with telling them that the dress they picked was too matronly or ugly. I did tell them that I would have to approve of the dress. But I mean, if they can't handle it, by all means, I have too many bridesmaids anyway. I'm just saying... My fiance's other sister chose different styles for us to wear in her wedding. I'm doing the same thing but I'm letting them have a say because everybody has different styles. I will be buying them jewelry as their gifts so I may match them or I may not. We'll see.

Hey there, I'm letting my 1 MOH/4 BM choose their own BLACK dresses---from any source/store---& they are paying on their own, so I sorta know where you are coming from as far as approving styles.

There's a saying: She who PAYS has a SAY. Since the girls are paying, you may need to give up some opinions---or be more open minded. That's what I have to do. I have a few restrictions (big bows, other colors, etc) & sample pics, on a printed list that they can take when shopping, but overall, I need to be reasonable since they are paying.

Also, my BMs have different styles, and I accepted that right away. I have a Muslim BM who right away I told her---you wear a black traditional headscarf, long sleeve pant/tunic outfit and I know you will look FIERCE!! One of my BM is gay and she is NOT a dress person. I said, honey, you wear a nice black pantsuit, and YOU WORK IT!! Now I know your situation is different, but try & be just a little lenient when dealing w/ their styles. GOOD LUCK hun!

I know but I just don't want anybody looking older than they are. Nobody is over 30 years old. I want my wedding party to look young and fun. Flirty dresses. I told them they could wear different lengths. But some of the dresses just wouldn't like right. The material looks too shiny or too clingy or the dress doesn't have a shape. I just everyone to look good because I'm gonna look good.

I agree with Laura about the wording but I do not agree with the idea that if they pay, they can wear what they want. This is YOUR WEDDING!!! They have agreed to be apart of YOUR WEDDING so they must abide by YOUR RULES! That may sound a little harsh but its the truth. If they do not want to do that then they do not need to be apart. Trust me, those who really care and want to be apart will cooperate! God bless!

It's certainly the tradition that the bride chooses the BM dresses so if you want to do it that way I don't see anything wrong with it. Most people know that agreeing to be a BM means you are agreeing to buy a dress that the bride chooses. I think it's great when a bride lets her BMs choose for themselves but you certainly don't HAVE to do it that way. However, I think that if you tell them they can choose ANY dress then you should stick to that. You can't play both sides, either pick their dresses or let them choose their own. At this point since you aren't comfortable with what they've chosen go ahead and pick like 5 styles that you do like and let them choose out of those ones. You'll get the look you want and they'll get some freedom of choice. But from now on in the planning process make sure you mean what you say or they could get frustrated

Same problem here, I had 6 BM now I'm at 5 so.... I had one style picked out, had them try them on , It looked to mature for my 14 year old daughter, and 2 BM are very athletic so it didnt fit them nicely at all ( no Chest)so I figured my MOH and my daughter would tie together with same material and cut of gown just different neckline. The other 3 I would find one that tied it all together. I did. Great. Now MOH wants a different gown all together and the one she wants makes me daughters look like it was a last minute purchase. Im ready to scream. BM are enough to make some one scream

Ok, so you asked them to give you ideas...and they did that. So pick a few you like, and ask them to pick one of those. All this going back and forth and asking them to pick "something better" is kind of insulting...just be straight forward with what you want, and don't expect that they know what your definition of "young and flirty" is. That could mean something different to everyone. I think the more forthcoming you are with what you really want, the better!

I experinced something similar and lets just say I have a new MOH. I too let my ladies pick and only the orgional MOH played diva. Everyone else had no problems. The org MOH picked a gigantic ball gown similar to mine! Long story short -- I told her play ball or kick rocks. She opted to kick rocks. I replaced her with a cousin who has given me no problems. My feeling is this. Treat them the way you would want to be treated. Just because they pay for thier dress doesnt mean they get to tell YOU what to do. If that was the case each groomsman could pick out a different color/style of tux/suit. I say give them 2 options A & B -let them pick and be done with it. Dont let them stress you.

I was planning on picking like 2 of the styles that I liked from their lists and asking them to choose one. But the problem came when a few of the girls only had 2 or 3 dresses on their lists to choose from and none of them works. For instance, my fiance's older sister only gave me 3 dress choices and none of them works. I need a new list. My step sister gave me 2 choices but she thought that she was suppose to pick something that all of the girls would like. I need a list of dresses that she likes. Okay, I haven't done this before. I was excited about finding a designer that carried the color I wanted in a lot of styles so I immediately asked them to check out the website and tell me what they thought. Everybody started giving me a list of the dresses they liked. I just wanted them to see the dresses but I went with it. 2 months later, some of the dresses they picked ain't gon work. Oh well, I need a new list

I think you overcomplicated the process. That's a little unfair. But don't change things now, just wrap them up as you're doing. I wouldn't ask them to go back a third time though.

With 8 bridesmaids, it may be difficult to find one dress that suits everyone's body types. I'm running into that problem with only 3 bridesmaids! Two are taller, about the same build, but the third is short, skinny and flat-chested. We went shopping earlier this week and there were some dresses that looked good on the bigger two, others that looked good on the skinny one, and some dresses that didn't suit any of them. We did find one that works okay for all of them, but it's not perfect. I can only imagine how much harder it must be with 8 bridesmaids! You may need to compromise and have 2-3 similar but different dresses, to suit different body types.

I see your wedding is still more than a year away, so don't stress too much about it right now. You have plenty of time to work it out.

Maybe I'm just crazy....or maybe my friends/family are just different, but everyone has said "it's your day, you tell us what to do..and we'll do it". I thought I had everything figured out about what I wanted with my BM dresses- but I went to look at dresses with them, and hated what I "thought" I wanted. We ran into a dress at the store, and immediately fell in love with it.

The original dress I liked was $200 bucks, which was a little much for my MOH and another BM, so we went back to looking at less expensive sources. It was a Dessy dress I originally picked. Also- no one had THE actual dress in stock.

Long story short- this is YOUR day. Not theirs. They can eat their cake later, and plan revenge if they feel it necessary. It's not like you're trying to put them in a lavender dress with a pink bow on their butts.

I also went with dessy (After 6) but chose the material & colour for my bridesmaids, and had them choose a style. This narrowed things down pretty well (11 dresses were available in that colour/material) & ensures things will match w/o choosing their dress for them. With dessy, it seems the same colour in different materials can be pretty different (eg. there are huge differences w/in colours between chiffon, matte satin, etc).

Have they paid for the dresses yet? Your wedding is one year away. So If they have NOT paid for them yet maybe tell them you are going to pick 3 for them to choose from.

My dresses are all coming from Alfred Angelo and the do seperates (top is seperate from skirt). I have chosen the skirt already since I dont want some of my BM's with short skirts and others with long skirts. I am letting them pick out their own tops from the "aproved" list of tops that I liked the most. My only "Bridezilla" moment is that I want my MOH to pick a top with 2 colors so they can have a splash of my accent color and stand out. This is working well because I have 2 BM's that are 12 years old and it allows everyone to wear something age appropriate. If you explain to your girls that you dont care for what they picked, they should be more then willing to pick something else. Isnt that what they are there for? To have your back and help you out in creating your dream wedding. You did the right thing by telling them to choose a few dresses that they like though instead of letting them set their hearts on one dress. Happy planning and good luck!

My suggestion is to just pick two or three dress styles that you like and let them choose from that. To give the girls who haven't picked something that you like so far a chance to have a say,you could sit down with them and look at dresses together. Then you could tell them what you do/don't like about styles they do and they could tell you the things about the dresses that they liked.. maybe then you could pick styles that you would both like.

I personally just took 2 of my bridesmaids to the store and told them it had to be a specific color, tea length, and either spaghetti strapped or strapless. Then I let them pretty much pick the dress out. The other girls loved the dress, but if they hadn't it would have just been too damn bad. it's my wedding. 20 years ago they would have just bought the dress and been happy to be picked to be in the wedding.

We haven't done anything with the dresses except look at them and choose a few that we like. I've chosen some that I personally like and they have their list. I think I'm gonna loosen up some; not too much. I'm happy that I finally got to see a swatch of the color and its perfect. I just hope that the bridal boutique doesn't go out of business or something.

I have 6 BM's ranging from a size 4-16 and was able to find ONE dress that costs 70$ that looks great on all of them that they all love! try looking at some different websites also? Ones you wouldn't think of like spiegal.com