Decline Disappointment

No declines yet ... and I'm one of those people who is looking forward to at least a few I've only received a couple back (invites just went out last week) and I'm sure declines won't come in for quite awhile (we are a ways out and I'm sure people will wait to see their schedules).

That being said, there are definitely a few that I'll be bummed out about if they decline. A few of which I think probably will (out of state). None will really make me angry (everyone has lives/schedules) but definitely hoping for a few not to be declines.

My FH has gotten upset about 2 declines so far. For me, it is just not that big of a deal.

I was disappointed that one of my good friends from college - a roommate that always sang silly songs in the kitchen and was just so fun to hang out with - couldn't make it. She lives out of state and has a family reunion that same weekend. That was my only real disappointment over someone who couldn't make it. Other than that, it's all good.

No, all of my rejections were OOT and expected. i did have a cousin who changed his rsvp, and that was disappointing because i was looking forward to seeing him again, but again, it wasnt unexpected.

There are really only a couple people we were "required" to invite-- the vast majority of our invites are people we actually WANT to come, so when we get a decline, it is a bit disappointing, especially b/c our guest list is so small.

I haven't gotten the formal decline yet (hoping they come still) but my MOH told me her mom and step-dad won't be coming to the wedding. They were my surrogate parents throughout college and it really upset me to know they possibly wouldn't be coming. If they had a "good" excuse I'd maybe give them a pass but from what she told me they were given pre-season Packer tickets and plan to go to the game instead. It's not even a 'real' game...it's some serious BS.

I had 4 people decline and 1 no-show that made me sad. However, I understand their reasons. The-no show had to take care of his sick kids (his wife was a bridesmaid - I am very close to both of them) and the 4 declines were because of vacations. I knew that getting married during Spring Break would increase my declines, but it still made me sad.

We had a high rate of decline, 90% of our invites were OOT guest. I was upset at first, but at the end I was happy that we had a much smaller wedding than planned.

I was sad to hear that 2 good friends of mine couldn't make the day (already had pre set plans). They are people I really enjoy and admire and am sad they won't be there. But I wasn't angry or upset. I did have one person that declined that I was irked about but after giving it a week or two I just let it go...people have lives that are not built around my wedding day and I understand that.

I was disappointed that my aunt/uncle from GA won't be able to make it. They've been married for 52 years. She's my favorite aunt.

I have been one of the ones saying I would be so happy when we get declines, but I meant just when family declines. I just sent out our STDs and I got a message on FB from one of my friends who is in the military that he will not be able to make it because he is getting deployed earlier that month. I am so sad, but I understand. He had to miss my MOH's wedding a few years ago for the same reason. He will be missed. However, I will be happy when we start getting declines from anyone else but our friends.

There were a few that made me a little disappointed but not mad. I actually laughed at one couple's decline, because they were so vocal about being sure to be invited (they were on the original guest list but their save the date got lost in the mail). That one sort of made go wtf?

There are two declines that FH and I received that kind of hurt both of us. And we initially wanted to get married on Sunday Aug 17th, but wanted to make sure this couple was available to attend bc they mean so much to us. They took too long to tell us and the date got booked, so now we're getting married in Saturday Aug 16th (which isn't that huge of a deal, but we simply wanted to get married on a Sunday) and now they're not even able to attend the wedding and we gave them 4+ months notice. smh!

One decline was FH cousin. The funny part is she made a big deal when FH said T's bf wasn't invited to the wedding (we're having a small and intimate wedding with only 70 guest). Since she made such a big deal FH invited T's bf and didn't invite his great-aunt. We received T's RSVP last week and she put "NO" for the bf and yes for her. smh! That def made no sense to me.

I feel like the ppl we expected to decline RSVP yes quickly and the ones we thought were coming for sure are taking forever to send back their RSVPs.

My current issue right not is people not being responsive to invites. I honestly don't mind the declines, but don't wait until the last minute to send back a decline when u already know ur not going to come. I have a friend whose due any day now and also has a 4 year old. She initially said she was coming and would send back the RSVP. She asked if we have to pay for each seat and I told her yes. We're still waiting for her RSVP. I'm ready to just give her and her bf seats away bc if I had a month old baby, I wouldn't be attending anyone's wedding (and I'm having an adults only reception). This makes me think that she was planning to RSVP yes, but no show up.

I was upset over some of the declines.

My cousin isn't able to make it. I was really hoping to see him again. And a older friend of the family can't make it either. And my best friend, her new husband can't make it because of work. And one of my FH's cousins who I was hoping to meet won't be there either.

Also all our friends that we invited from Calgary can't make it either. It makes me sad that they can't be there to share our special day.

I have gotten many guest declines though. We gave many family members a 1 because we didn't know if they were in a relationship or not, and many of them aren't bringing a 1 and declined the guest. So it is nice to know that we can save money and only pay for those people we know.

Half of our 120 guests are from OOT so I understand many can't make it for a plethora of reasons. Several OOT declines included detailed reasons why which I competely understand. However there is one friend of 25 years who sent in her Regretfully Declines RSVP with a simple note of "Sorry I can't make it" - no explanation. Although I know etiquette dictates no explanation is necessary I am hurt that she can't attend my wedding because in the 15 years since my 1st husband died, I have driven or flown the 450+ miles to see her 5x (and there would've been a 6th if my teenage daughter didn't need emergency surgery) in a 13 year period. She has never come to see me but is always adamant about when I will plunk down a bunch of money and time off work to see her. It just chapped my butt to read her non-explanatory note. All I could think of was "You'd think you could come see ME once every 15 years and this is for my wedding, not a Tupperware party." She owns a successful business, travels all over the US for fun (she posts about plenty of OOT weddings she has attended on Facebook) so its not about the money (her divorce settlement left her very well off).

It would've been one thing to say Sorry can't make it due to another wedding/work event/visiting sons in Europe. But the no explanation makes me feel like I am not important enough in her life and haven't been for a long time.