Decision making

H worked on food, music, venue, dessert (we had pie and doughnuts, not cake) and his and the GMs attire. He also got to give his opinion on the photographer I liked (we went with her) because he has to look at the pictures as well and the STDs/invitations, because it was his wedding too.

I'd say it's very common for the FH to not be as involved. I tried to include mine when we met with vendors to discuss stuff but whenever I looked over for his input he would shrug and say anything you want lol. I've had vendors address everything directly to me because it's so uncommon for it to be the other way around. I still ask for his opinion before finalizing anything even though he mostly agrees. His main interests were the alcohol, the menu, the outfits for him and the guys and then just keeping me sane lol. There were times I was definitely over doing and over thinking and it was nice to have someone not going as crazy to bring me level.

My fiance was an equal part of every single wedding decision (except my dress). He didn't have a lot of free time to work on the small details in wedding planning, so I would do a lot of the research on something (such as the invitations), show him a handful of options that I liked, and he would give me his thoughts. If there was one option we both liked, we went with it. If we couldn't agree, I continued researching until we found something we both liked. He also found almost all of our vendors. We both met with potential vendors and made decisions together. I feel lucky that he's been so involved. I think it's common for one partner to not be as involved in wedding planning as the other.

Mine would get married at a courthouse if I let him lol. Other than helping choose the venue, first dance song, and food, he doesn't actively ask to participate in the planning process which is totally fine with me. He doesn't care much about details (flowers, table settings, decor, etc), but he's super supportive whenever I ask his opinion on something and we made all the vendor choices together. It's a good mix for us since I really like being in control of planning and parsing out every single detail while he just goes with the flow. (:

My husband didn't/doesn't care too much about the "little" details (centerpieces, linens, dinnerware) but he was definitely active in all of the big decisions (venue, dinner menu, cake flavors, colors, etc)

My husband wasn't overly involved. I made most of the decisions. There were very few things he actually cared about. I think this is fairly common.

We are planning a tiny weddimg (3 guests) and the only decisions needed to be made was guest list, photographer, lodging and food. He was involved 2 out of the 4 decisions.

My FH is generally not a planner, so I’m doing everything. He went with me to select the venue, the food, and the cake tasting.


He will also handle his groomsmen attire, I’m doing everything else.
Is this normal? Lol

View Quoted Comment The first time he said “whatever you want..” I cried, I was like “you don’t want to marry me..” lol


Now I’m ok with it. He told me he cares more about the marriage than the wedding, and really doesn’t care about the details, so if I needed to add things to make me happy just do it.

My husband gave his input for everything except for a few decor things (like I bought some table numbers at Hobby Lobby without him). Otherwise, we planned the wedding together. Sometimes I would research things and then show him 3-4 options out of things I liked and he would choose from those.

View Quoted Comment Same here, I was like what do you mean you don't care it's your wedding too


But at least they are looking at the bigger picture, can't be upset with that. He also doesn't really view himself as a "creative" person so I can only imagine asking him his opinion on how something should look and he goes into override lol.

View Quoted Comment Haha! Yes! It’s best that we plan everything.


My FH also said “just do everything and tell me when to pay and show up..”
Then just don’t get it! Lol

My husband was involved to an extent aha he was assigned aspects of the planning like alcohol that he got excited about

Oh ya, I forgot he did say he wanted open bar. He got to choose our entrance song and we agreed on our 1st dance song and a donut station.

View Quoted Comment Me too. The only thing I didn't consult him on was the flowers.

It takes two to BE married, so it takes two to GET married.

In other words, DH was involved with nearly everything. I told him flat out that it would be a courthouse wedding if he didn't do his fair share, and he agreed that made sense. Also, there was a quite a lot he wanted to help with.... but he also would have anxiety attacks about what to do... while staring at the planning book.... on the floor... in front of him...

But, yeah.

I don't care if they don't care.

It's their wedding, too, and it takes two to get there.

My FH has been surprisingly involved in the planning process. He's generally not a planner and gets stressed if I ask him to make a decision about anything, but he's been pretty helpful so far. I think part of it is that for him it's a destination wedding in a foreign country (my hometown) and he's excited to plan an elegant event for us and our friends/family. He's designed the Save the Dates himself and will also do the invitations, and has been giving helpful input in terms of vendors. We're still more than a year and a half out but I know he'll be excited for things like tastings, venue visits, etc. when we can make those things happen.

I’m definitely the planner in our relationship, and enjoy it.
He was very involved in picking the venue and the food. For the decorations, it’s not that he doesn’t care, but he doesn’t have ideas on what possible decor could look like so I just discussed with him my vision to make sure we were on the same page. And I made sure to show him things before I buy them so he feels involved.
I also know the music we both like but wanted to make sure he was happy with that so I made a playlist but we picked out songs for the ceremony and dances together. I think that generally we have seen more wedding items, or have paid more attention than they have so it can be easier for us to come up with ideas.

FH keeps saying he "doesn't care" but half of the decisions I've made to him, he's like, "actually, what about . . . "

View Quoted Comment

Lol this is the same thing for me!

My FH keeps telling me he's fine with whatever I pick, but with some details he'll say, "I'm not sure about that, what about this?". So he's actually more involved than he thinks! He looked at venues with me and gave his honest opinion with the ones I sent him or showed him. He was also very opinionated about our wedding colors and what type of suits he wanted him and his guys to wear.

He's given me his opinion on pretty much everything, so he's been very helpful!!