Deceased parent on invitation-PLEASE HELP!

My initial thought was no. Those who are hosting are listed & a deceased parent is certainly not hosting. You could include it when you pit the announcement in the paper after your wedding.

Then, I thought, "why not"? It could be worded something like: Joe Smith, son of Sally and Jim Smith and the late John Smith.

Certainly ask your FH what he thinks about it. This should be his decision (IMO).

I'm in a similar situation as you are, in a way. I was just talking to FH about it a moment ago. FH's father passed away 10 yrs ago. FH and I decided to just put my parents name on the invite since they are hosting and my parents are not happy with it. They keep asking why his parents names are not it. Well FH doesn't want just his mom's name on it and mom doesn't want FH's dad's name on it. FH also doesn't want to "announce" to the world via his wedding invitation that his dad has passed. So here is what i told my parents "FH has decided that he doesn't want to have his late parent name on the invitation because he is not comfortable with it. This is his wedding as well so respect his wishes"

For you, you can add Mom and Stepfather's name at the beginning after your parents name and then put "son of...." after FH's last name.

No, it is not proper to listed a deceased person on an invitation. I would suggest mentioning him somewhere else, such as a program.

Actually, it's totally fine to put the deceased parent on the invite. It is usually done as something like John Smith, son of Jane Smith and the late Bob Smith (and then the same for the bride).

Where it gets tricky is how to include the step father as well. I'm sure there is a proper way to do that but I've never seen it personally so it would take some checking.

This sounds like a perfect scenario for the use of "Together with their families..."

Whether you can list a deceased parent depends on how the invitation is worded otherwise. If it's the traditional:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

request the honour of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter...

then a dead person clearly can't be issuing an invitation. However, if it's something like:

Susan Smith

daughter of Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

and John Jones,

son of Mr. and Mrs. James Davis and the late John Jones...

then you could include a deceased parent's name.

I was going to ask FH but wanted to get some opinions on etiquette. I am fine with either.

I also was going to do a tribute to his deceased father in the ceremony program and at the reception.

We just didn't list parents... We just said "together with their families"... We're paying ourselves though, so we didn't even have to do that. I have divorced parents who were remarried when I was young, my stepmom was killed a few years ago and my FHs dad passed in 2012... Just easier to say "together with their families"

That is a lil weird I've never heard of putting the deceased name im sorry is a wedding not a funeral. I guess if you want to be nice do what kimi said.

I don't see a reason to include him.. I mean I do out of respect but then again every situation is diffrent... Like with my FH he isn't even inviting his real dad so he won't be mentioned when we do our announcement... but were inviting both dad's sides because he visits his dad some but ends up spending the time with his grandparents.

So technically the parents listed are the ones who are hosting the event. So "together with their familes" implies that both sets of parents AND the couple are hosting the event (hosting here is code for they are paying for). If the brides parents are hosting, you could word the invitations as "Mr. and Mrs. Parents of the Bride invite you to the wedding of their daughter, Bride's Name, to Groom's Name, sone of Mr. and Mrs. Groom" or you could go with "Together with their families, Bride and Groom invite you to their wedding...".

One that I actually found via an invitation sample on Wedding Paper Divas for the case when the bride and groom are hosting is "With profound joy you are cordially invited to witness the marriage of Bride and Groom..."

All of this is somewhat dependent on the formality of the event. If you care to elaborate on who is hosting and how formal the event is I'll update my response to reflect that.

My parents are paying for the reception and FH's parents are paying for the rehearsal and flowers. I am very close with FH's mom and stepdad and my parents and I wanted them included in the invitation. It is a very formal event.

I should also probably mention that FH approved the invites initially. I approved the proofs with the invitation store during the day on Thursday, and this situation was brought up late Thursday night. The invitation store is closed on Friday.....

I am concerned that the printing company is already working on it. I do not have a way to contact the printing company as we went through the invitation store. If it comes down it, I guess we can just pay for updated invites.

While I agree the deceased father probably should have been mentioned in the announcement, the invitation is a different story. Deceased parents are not mentioned on invitations.

I was thinking it would be nice to have a picture of FH's father with his name in the ceremony program, and we were also talking about doing a memory table at the reception and having his dad's name listed.

Simply solution is to put. "You and fh together with families " no drama and no one left out

FHs mother passed away 5 months before we met. We originally were just going to put my parents names on the invites. His grandmother asked us to put her name on the invitation, so we did. Here's how we did it:

Mr. & Mrs. John Smith request the pleasure of your company as their daughter

My first Middle Last Name

Exchanges Marriage Vows with

FHs First Middle Last name, son of FH's mother's name

I came on WW to find out if we should put son of the late FH's mother's name, but I was told either could work. FH and I preferred it the way we did it and that was his grandmother's preference as well.

Maybe you could do something similar if you want to put his father on the invite. Since FH's father isn't in the picture, it made things easier in terms of wording for us. I would probably put son of the late John Doe, since you are putting his mother and step-fathers names on the invites also.

ETA: I agree the "Together with their families" is the easiest solution if everyone is ok with that. In our case, my parents wanted to be named on the invites and since they are helping financially, we decided the above was the easiest solution.

My best friend just got married and her mom passed away 10 years ago. The invitation read Mr. blah Blah and the Late Mrs Blah Blah request the pleasure of your company. My best friend insisted that her mother was her mother and that didn't change because her dad remarried (after all he only remarried bc her mom passed away). No one said anything. When he gave her away the officiant asked 'who gives her away' and he responded 'her mother and I.' It was sweet that she was included in the little details.

I don't think there is a reason to include his name. I think it would be better to do a memorial for the actual wedding. Maybe an announcement from the officiate or something. I agree with RJmargo. I would just do "together with their families" I think it causes the least amount of drama. My mother is deceased and I wouldn't even think about putting her name on a card. I don't see why it would be necessary but I guess it depends on the person. I am only doing a rose on an empty chair with no announcement. I don't want to bring the mood down. But for other people it is very important to pay tribute to there family.

ETA: I cant type this morning lol

FH's mother passed away and instead of listing each of our parents names we are wording that part of our invite as such:

"Sue and Robin, with the love and support of their families wish you to witness and celebrate their marriage."

You could say:

(Your parents name) request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter to FH name

Son Of FMIL, Loving stepfather xxx, and the late xxx