This is long, but it’s important I provide details to get the full picture.
The friend I am considering uninviting is someone who has been a part of my friend group since college. We even lived together at one point, but he has always been closer and nicer to the other girls (my best friends/BMs) and I never really cared because he tends to rub me the wrong way. There have been a few incidents where this friend has called me the cruelest things under the sun, always in a drunken rage. At this point, I think he is just a bad drunk because he always apologizes and sneaks his way back into my good graces. My FH is aware of these incidents and has kept him at an arms length, respecting my friendship with him. Our friendship is shallow, as in I have been there to help him and he hasn’t done the same for me. I don’t think we have even hung out 1-1 before. My friends assume we are close because I’m not reactive to him.
Fast forward to my bachelorette party. He somehow joins by assuming he’s invited, but I didn’t mind because I was so excited to celebrate with my BMs, nothing was going to ruin it. This friend proceeds to get blackout drunk at a bar and gets kicked out, but before he leaves he follows me to the bathroom (entering the ladies room even though he’s a man) and tries to follow me into the stall and it caught me off guard because I didn’t want him to be in there with me. He begins to pull/bang on the door yelling to let him in, I say NO 10X. It truly scared me.
I tell my FH about this incident and my FH tells me this is the last straw and he can’t stand watching someone disrespect me over and over again. Like he wanted to knock this guy out. I plan to talk to the “friend” about his actions and how distraught I still am over them and tell him that if he goes to the wedding, he’ll be under a microscope, not genuinely welcomed by FH, my parents, and some BMs because there’s no way in hell he’s ruining the best day of my life.
Ultimately I’m scared of: the fallout if I uninvite him, my friends/BMs not understanding how poorly he has treated me, and them thinking I’m just dramatic. It’s keeping me up at night and I would love to hear if anyone else would tolerate this behavior for the sake of keeping the peace, or if they think I should uninvite him.