Death before a wedding

God bless your family at this difficult time. My suggestion would be to talk to your fiance pointing out the benefits of moving your wedding up. It really depends on how you present the idea, if you come across like "let's move it up before they die" then of course that would sound less insensitive but if you share your reasons ex. she will be there to see the happiest day of her son't life, you will have another long lasting memory of her at the event and it really would be an honor to her to move the date up although she is "saying" no, maybe you can honor her in some sort of special way at the wedding. Besides, depending on when she goes to heaven, you never know how that will effect your fiance emotionally and it may just trigger a whole train reaction of emotions!

My situation is kind of similiar to this. My grandmother was very ill and we were hoping that she would get well enough to attend my wedding. Unfortunately, she passed away this pass Friday. I think it all depends on the way you say it. Just let him know that it would be great if she can be there to witness your wonderful day. Be sensitive to his feelings and don't keep pressing the point. Have a back-up plan if he continues to say no. I plan on having my pastor read off the names of our deceased grandparents as a rose is placed in a vase and light a candle as their name is called out. We are also going to place a rose in the respective seats of our living grandparents that will not be able to attend the wedding. I hope this helps a little.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Did you think of doing a private ceremony for his mother...maybe just the immediate family? You can recite your vows in a small ceremony, and celebrate with other friends and family in December.

Best Wishes to you and your family.

There is really no right or wrong answer in this situation. Sometimes a person 'holds' on because they want to see their child get married; other times, the body gets tired and the person just goes. Have you thought about asking your fiancee's mother how she feels about it. So many times, we are afraid to talk about the 'D' word and it becomes like an elephant in the room. You can't go wrong with an open and honest discussion. God bless and loving prayers surround.

I agree with the previous post..... my grandfather is "holding on" and is bound and determined to walk me down the aisle in May.

He is 91 almost 92 and has been in the hospital for the last two weeks. The doctors said there was nothing they could do for him, but a family friend suggested a home-remedy for him, and it is working... although the doctors said it would still take months for him to heal with his age and condition, he is doing very well, and said he is going to walk again and walk me down the aisle.... It is really his motivation, and it could be motivation for your FI mom as well.... However, i am sorry for your terrible news.... I dont want to sound cruel, but do have a backup plan if the worse does happen... Have a plan and way to honor her, if something should go bad... But lets keep happy thoughts, and you will be in my prayers

I am in the same boat. My mother is very sick with cancer. Hospice is saying she has about a month, which will put it right at our wedding day. We are hoping she can attend the ceremony at least. If not, we are planning to return back to our home (she is living with us) in between the ceremony and reception to celebrate with her.

First, I am very sorry to here about your story. Second, I've been there. My sister got married last Aug and my father was very sick (brain cancer). We knew it was pushing it but she had already got engaged and planned the wedding in 4 months in hopes he would make it that long. Well, The week she was going to get married he died. He died that Monday and it was the hardest thing to have to do. Our parents are divorced which made it harder because he lived in Ohio at this time and we lived in Texas. She decided to leave her wedding date the same and had it that Saturday (the same day as his service i might add...). Needless to say there was a lot of drama all the way around, but in the end we said a prayer for him and knew he was watching from heaven. She made the choice to leave it the way it was and I have to say it is his choice for what he wants to do. I didnt agree with my sisters decision but it was hers to make. I dont know if this helps any but yea...

Blessings to you & your family. I am an Officiant, but previously a Hospice Chaplain of 6 years in Apple Valley, California. It is a known concept that our loved ones hang on for that one special event or occasion in which is so important to them. It could be 6 months or 2 years. Only God knows! How about an engagement party with the cake, gifts, & all with Mom present? This would include her not making her feel bad at all! You could also have a engagement vow ceremony with some beautiful flowers in hand. The wedding date can still be December 5th, 2009! My prayers are with you. If you need to talk I'm here.

Blessings!

I am sorry to hear about your situation. The same thing is happening to me and my fiance right now also. We are getting married on July 25, 2009. My fiance's father is ill with cancer. He doesn't seem to think that he will make it until June.

Right now, the wedding is not being postponed, but I don't know how my fiance will feel if his dad passes. When his mother passed, it was life changing for him and he took it extremely hard.

I don't know what to do, but pray that everything will work out. I don't want to lose my future father in-law. I also do not know where or how to begin to postpone everything if needed just one month before the wedding, if needed.

I will keep you in my prayers.