Analy aka T-waffle
Master October 2009

Dear Bride....A letter from a Photographer

Analy aka T-waffle, on March 31, 2011 at 7:55 PM Posted in Planning 0 216
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Hi Bride,

Thanks for the opportunity to talk with you and Groom about your wedding.

I realize that you've decided to go another direction. That's ok. I'm not offended. But I do want to make sure you know what you're doing. If it were another professional photographer, I wouldn't say anything, but I have to say something this time. It's all well and good that your friend is a photographer and is offering to do work for free. But you need to ask how important your photography is to you. The reason I ask this is because weddings take a certain amount of skill to do. They're not just show up with a camera. They're also, about knowing how to anticipate the height of expression, and the pivotal moments. It's knowing how to take romantic portraits of the bride and groom in less than 20 minutes without making them feel rushed, and worst of all, looking like they're rushed. Then there's the family pictures, the lighting problems when there isn't enough light, and knowing how to use speedlight

216 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs. Spring, on January 4, 2021 at 11:32 AM
  • Analy aka T-waffle
    Master October 2009
    Analy aka T-waffle ·
    • Flag

    AND maintaining a natural look.

    This all takes years to master, and I'm sorry, but a friend or family member that's offering free or cheap work because they're getting into photography just doesn't cut it. Remember this is your wedding. You're gonna have these images for the rest of your life. You're gonna have reminders for the rest of your life of how amazing your wedding day was.

    Obviously photography, and especially good photography is something I'm passionate about. So I'll just ask you a couple questions.

    Will your friend be able to make a professional quality album for you, or because she's not a professional, will she not have access to the album manufacturers?

    Does your friend have insurance and a business license?

    Does your friend have a portfolio of weddings and engagement shoots?(I'd love to see her work.)

    Does your friend have a mastery of light, portraits, photojournalism, and the other essentials?

    Will you end up with just a disk of images at the end of the day?

    • Reply
  • Analy aka T-waffle
    Master October 2009
    Analy aka T-waffle ·
    • Flag

    Will she just offer100 4x6s, 25 5x7s, 10 8x10s?(most new photographers do this... what would you possibly do with these 135 prints?)

    All of that to say this:

    I think that going with a friend is a huge mistake. Please re-consider going with a professional. Maybe I'm wrong, and her images blow you away. But if there's even a little doubt about how good your images will turn out, RUN!

    Once again, it was great meeting you and Groom.

    • Reply
  • Fun bride
    Master November 2010
    Fun bride ·
    • Flag

    But you're not a photographer. I went with a friend and was thrilled.

    • Reply
  • Erin
    Devoted September 2011
    Erin ·
    • Flag

    @ Fun: That was the letter from a photographer though...

    • Reply
  • sarah
    Super June 2012
    sarah ·
    • Flag

    My fh did all the photos for my moms wedding and it i made her a really nice album and it looked amazing i am sure she could have got some better photos with a pro but her pics look great and she was thrilled ... do what is best for you

    • Reply
  • *~WiiFeY~*
    Master June 2011
    *~WiiFeY~* ·
    • Flag

    I do think that having a friend or family member is better than NOTHING if you can't afford it. But I would have to say that if you can spend the money, having a professional is SO worth it. These are the only things that you'll have to remember your wedding by (besides maybe a video) to show your kids, grandkids, to be passed DOWN to your kids and grandkids.. This was one of the most important things for my wedding day, was to have a professional. I splurged too, because I'd rather have memorable photos than a super expensive cake that will be gone at the end of the day. And what's the point in that super expensive cake if there aren't any photos to remember it by?

    • Reply
  • *~WiiFeY~*
    Master June 2011
    *~WiiFeY~* ·
    • Flag

    Plus.. I've heard one too many bride on here who at first was confident that having a friend or family member do their photography was worth it. Then after their wedding day they posted some pretty unprofessional looking photos that they were VERY unhappy with. They didn't shoot half the family members, get any important or traditional shots, and none of the moments were really captured besides the staged ones. Plus, the fact that a lot of their pictures were very unflattering because of the angles and lighting.

    • Reply
  • Analy aka T-waffle
    Master October 2009
    Analy aka T-waffle ·
    • Flag

    This was written by a (WW) photographer, NOT me.

    • Reply
  • amee
    Super October 2012
    amee ·
    • Flag

    Different things are important to different people, and if they are fine with having a friend take their pictures, so be it.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Jacques
    Master July 2010
    Mrs. Jacques ·
    • Flag

    The "photographer" is 100% right--- I love you Analy!

    • Reply
  • Sharon
    Master June 2010
    Sharon ·
    • Flag

    Would you have a friend make your dress? might as well if you don't get any good pics of it. I would work my budget like it was my job to get a good photog.

    • Reply
  • countrybride*H*
    Master April 2012
    countrybride*H* ·
    • Flag

    Wow. That would just make me not want to go with whatever photog sent me that letter. I'm speechless. We are having FH's aunt do our photog because we don't have the extra money to spend on a photog and I've seen the pictures she has taken of her daugther's prom pictures when she was in high school.. and if I didn't know it was FH's aunt that took the pictures.. I seriously would've thought that it was a picture that belonged in a magazine for a prom gown or something. I have total confidence in FH's aunt, she has even said that a month or a few weeks before the wedding she wants for FH and I to go to the church so she can get an idea of the lighting and all.. so I'm not worried at all Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Melissa
    VIP December 2010
    Melissa ·
    • Flag

    P.S..................LMAO Smiley winking

    • Reply
  • Melissa
    VIP December 2010
    Melissa ·
    • Flag

    Rachel,, he was writing "dear bride" as to not call out a specific bride and BE professional.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Jacques
    Master July 2010
    Mrs. Jacques ·
    • Flag

    Rachel- Think before you type, maybe just maybe the name was replaced with "Bride" to spare any unnecessary embarrassment. I am sure if the photographer sent this to the Bride he/she would have called them by name but posting on WW its appropriate to use Bride and Groom. Lay off on the caps please.

    • Reply
  • rock-n-roll bride
    Super April 2011
    rock-n-roll bride ·
    • Flag

    I have to say that I agree going with a pro, it's more about the amount you can spend. I agree you need to have a budget and stick to what you can afford, but giving some padding to the photography makes sense to me and it's what we chose to do in the end. I do a little photography in my professional life, but it's all studio work and I personally know a wonderful wedding photographer; but I still didn't want to go down that road. Being a designer and being as picky as I am I didn't want to even chance there being any kind of tension between us. She is invited to the wedding and I said I wanted her to first have fun and then take pics when she feels like it. She is fabulous and wanted to offer to do the whole thing for free, but it just didn't seem right to me. She's my friend and I want it to stay that way. That's my decision though, I feel in the end every bride is entitled to her own.

    • Reply
  • RachInCali
    Super August 2011
    RachInCali ·
    • Flag

    Oh i am sorry sometimes i type with caps. I wasnt trying to be insulting. i was just trying to be nice. sorry i will not comment anything

    • Reply
  • Fun bride
    Master November 2010
    Fun bride ·
    • Flag

    There are good arguments on both sides. I'm not sure if this letter is an advisory or if it is an an actual letter sent to a potential customer. If I received that letter from a professional, after deciding not to go with that professional, I would wonder if the professional was desperate, that is my honest opinion.

    • Reply
  • GinaBeana
    Devoted May 2012
    GinaBeana ·
    • Flag

    This is tough. I understand the points the photographer was making, and I suppose, underneath the unprofessional words, the thought is that they want you to be happy with your photographs. However, this is each couple's decision to make, and putting together your wedding is a huge balancing act. Very very hard.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Jacques
    Master July 2010
    Mrs. Jacques ·
    • Flag

    I agree with Melissa lets not confuse "rude and dumb" with professionalism.

    • Reply

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