Day after brunch-dilemma

I would either graciously accept or graciously decline. I don't think you get to determine the guest list of a party someone else is hosting.

We are doing a day after brunch, but its not being hosted. We put on our website that we will be having brunch at a local restaurant and anyone that would like to join us can. We also don't plan to open gifts though. Anyways, I'd just tell your mom your reasoning for not wanting to, and hopefully y'all can come to some sort of agreement / compromise.

I think because it's your parents, I would express to them that you feel overwhelmed by that. See if they would be open to compromising and having it be smaller like you mentioned, and if not, tell them you would prefer not to do it. If they still insist, you can let them know that they are welcome to host anyone they want to host, but that they should let people know that the bride and groom won't be able to attend. I have a very close relationship with my parents and for the most part we can speak freely, so this wouldn't be hard for me to do at all. I realize that not everyone has that relationship, though. I would try to keep the conversation casual while still getting your feelings across.

My mom booked a few hotel rooms for her out of state family. They are planning on all getting together the morning after the wedding for brunch and to just chat. She told me I can come or not, doesn't matter. That's small though - not like 50 people.

I'd decline. I'd feel awkward opening presents..again. I've already had a shower and any other gifts will be opened at home with my FH. Also, I want to spend the next day being a newlywed and not having to go through more wedding related motions.

If it were me, I'd just let them host the day after brunch but opt not to open gifts. In my experience, no one brings physical gifts to weddings, they just send them to the bride and grooms home. Also in my experience, guests will be gone the next morning so I'm sure not all of your family and friends will attend the brunch even if invited.

It's all just what you want. Most of my FH's family is traveling from Colorado and California. They also haven't seen or talked to him in years. We are wanting to go to breakfast with them the morning after, but only because I'm afraid of FH talking/trying to catch up the entire reception. Him and his mom are talkers, so I'm not sure if the rest of the family is (never met 90% of them). So this was a way to ensure only a little bit of talking during the reception, and more enjoying the reception together, having fun.

I agree with FutureMrsD. If they want to host it I would let them but I would tell them you just want to do brunch and not open gifts.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Weddings with lots our of town guests are tricky. We dealt with this on our rehearsal dinner, I shared the guest list and immediate my mom and aunt were asking why it didn't include all out of town guests (nvm nearly all out guests are out of town and we’re throwing a separate welcome party specifically so we could have the rehearsal dinner smaller 🙄). If you really can't comfortable with a large guest list for a next day brunch talk to your parents and explain why but if their paying id honestly just go with the flow

Oh man. I wouldn't want to either.

I'd suggest talking to your parents candidly.
If you dont want to see that many people again (I need time to recharge after social events) just tell them politely. And decline their offer.

If you're good with brunch. Do brunch. But ask to not do gift opening.
If you want to do gift opening later with a small crowd, host that yourself.

I find the morning after gift opening tradition super odd. So I plan to skip it.