Dance of my dreams versus dress of my dreams (kinda long argument with myself- input appreciated)

Ahhhhhhh I just watched that yesterday!!!!!! I love that song!! Ray is the best and did you know he was voiced by voice acting genius Jim Cummings?! And FH and I are doing our first dance to At Last I See the Light from Tangled Disney may not be the most realistic picture of romance ever but THEY SURE GOT THE MAGIC RIGHT OK. Also 1) thank you for your sweet and detailed response on my dancing post and 2) best of luck with the answer to this conundrum! (I'm obviously the last person who should be giving advice in this corner lol!)

My wedding dress as a ball gown and I can't imagine buying one that I only wear for a thirty minute ceremony ya know? So I either have to compromise on the dress of my dreams or compromise on the first dance- which will probably cost a lot of money because while I can do a Viennese waltz in a ballgown it's not a dance I'm very comfortable with let alone being good enough to teach Nick so we'd definitely have to pay for lessons which would suck. I mean, my other option would be to pick a different song with a tempo for an easier but still danceable in a ball gown like a fox trot or a rumba or American waltz but my FH sounded disappointed when I mentioned potentially switching the song so idk. I know I have a lot of time to think about it, I just figured I'd see if any of you ladies had advice on the subject.

You have a long time to brush up on your Viennese waltz...

I think your dance will only be a few minutes of your day so you go with your dream dress. Then you go on groupon to get a few dance lessons cheap to learn the steps needed for the dream dress.

I am just hoping FH and I don't fall on eachother.

Have you explained how difficult Viennese waltz is and how much lessons would cost to your FH? I suspect there's a good chance that once he hears how much you want a ballgown, and how much it would cost to have both a ballgown and a first dance to this song, he'll be happy to change it.

Also, you say he's not much of a dancer... what are the chances he'll be able to lead Viennese waltz after only a year of lessons? FI and I have been dancing for a year and haven't even been able to touch Viennese waltz yet.

(If you're looking for alternate song suggestions, for romantic, newbie-friendly first-dance waltzes, I highly recommend "Come Away With Me" by Norah Jones or "Go Places" by the New Pornographers! And if you're looking for a really short, newbie-friendly, cute rumba/tango/cha-cha, "Alone Together" from the Steven Universe soundtrack is awesome.)

@Lara I know I have plenty of time, it's my FH who I'm worried about. I've tried to teach him to dance before, just a simple club swing, and that took forever. With something as quick and complicated as Viennese waltz I feel like he'd need a professional instructor which really isn't in the budget. With tango I have a lot of guy friends I know through the Argentine tango community and I've taught beginner classes so I know how to lead and follow so I would feel confident teaching him myself/with help from friends so it'd save us a lot of money.

I can understand that, for sure. I would say keep the dress on and try to find a song he can dance to :-/

@Kay that's true. I'll talk about it with him when he gets home. I guess I'd just feel bad changing it because there are very few things he's had strong feelings about wedding wise- mostly just the venue, the food, and the first dance song- and he goes along with anything I want for everything else so I'd feel bad changing one of the few things he seemed really excited about.

@SarahMarie that's true, the dance is probably too short for me to spend this much time worrying about it lol I'm sure we'll figure it out

I could be totally off base, but why do you need to do an actual ballroom dance? What about holding each other and swaying/moving to the music? No lessons, dream dress, dream first dance song...it's like 3 minutes of the whole day. Anything you do will be romantic.

@Jacqui722 I guess it's just something I always assumed I'd do. I've been ballroom dancing since high school and I was the vice president and one of the instructors for the Argentine tango club on campus in college. I mean it won't be the end of the world if FH decides it's too difficult and doesn't want to do it, but I'd at least like to try. idk we'll see I've got time to mull it over, I'm just being a drama queen cuz I'm sitting at home with a sprained wrist with nothing to do lol

I obviously don't know how difficult the dance can be, but I do think you should try if it's something you really want! You guys have time on your side. Even if it's not perfect, it will be memorable.

One more thought--you can wear a tango dress just for that dance--doesn't have to be a wedding gown or anything expensive-- and put your ballgown back on for the rest of the reception.

That's true. My friends I met through tango did that at their wedding now that I think about it I dunno how I forgot when I was a bridesmaid helping her change lol

I was thinking the same thing as Jacqui. Would it be possible to have a second dress (doesn't have to be anything special- can even be something you already have) just to wear for your dance. You can be introduced in your wedding dress and whatnot and quickly change for the dance. Afterwards, just quickly change back. As a former dancer (tap, jazz, lyrical), I can totally appreciate that you want to show off your ballroom skills on your big day, but it is 100% not worth compromising your dream dress for a 3 minute dance.

FH and I ballroom dance, so I TOTALLY hear you on this one. I couldn't give up the a-line floor length. We are having a big band, and are planning on doing a lot of swing at our wedding. Tea length would really be ideal, but I just couldn't give up my dress. I bought a poofy crinoline off a friend, and we have been practicing with the extra bulk/weight. It's not so bad. I couldn't justify a second dress either.

Incidentally, I did have a friend who wanted to perform a tango. They did a first dance in her regular dress, then she disappeared and switched into a blue dress just for the tango.... wait. I was going to say then she switched back, but no, she stayed in the tango dress for an hour or two, then changed into a third dress that was white but not her original poofy dress. So yeah. 3 dresses at a reception... That's apparently an option too...

Here is my thought. I would suggest getting the dress you want and doing a slow romantic song that you can really enjoy each others time together. So many times the first dance is a mess when coupes are trying to remember how to do the dance they tried to learn and they end up just looking a their feet instead of embracing the moment. Later in the evening perhaps you can switch gears and do an 'A Hora Loca' (the crazy hour) and do your tango then! This change can really liven up a reception towards the end. You can see an example of what I am talking about 2/3rds of the way down this blog post. http://caffreysphotography.com/las-velas-houston-wedding-nair-ryan/

Do a modified Viennese Waltz. I'm no dancer and we managed to learn it in the 6 months we were taking ballroom.

Argentine tango is so, so much harder to learn than the waltz. Yes, Viennese is a challenge as well because of the speed and rapid movement, but unless he plans to literally spend this whole year learning how to lead tango, you may be backleading most of "the cool stuff". Argentine tango has the steepest learning curve for leads of any dance, IMO.

Why don't you keep the song but not do an over-the top dance? That way you both get what you want. There's nothing wrong with doing just a normal dance

Omg! I'm a tango dancer too, high five

I had the same debate, as a dancer (mainly latin styles) Tango was my dance of choice, but there is no point to it if one cannot see the lady's footwork, I would have to change into a dance outfit, the change back into my dress. But I was not crazy about that, so we decided to try something new together. We will both learn a new style called Kizomba, it has lots of latin and tango flare

Check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dm_TzKprOls

I say go with the dance that will make you feel more comfortable, and simply find a "dance dress", a quick outfit for the dance and that is it, change back into your dream dress.