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Expert May 2018

Daddy Issues

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J, on January 18, 2018 at 8:49 PM

Posted in Planning 27

Are you going to have your father escort you down the aisle? Or someone else? Or go by yourself? What were the reasons for your decision? I’m not estranged from my dad, but we aren’t super close so the idea of him taking me down the aisle doesn’t really give me warm fuzzies. Plus I don’t really understand why the father gets to do it instead of the mother (or both). My mother had a bigger role in raising me. But my parents are divorced so it would be awkward to have both of them do it. This tradition just seems a little unfair to me to the hardworking mamas of the world. And I’m an independent woman and don’t really feel like I actually need anyone to “give” me to my man, lol. If I decide not to do it, how do I tell him? I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Thanks in advance for your feedback!

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27 Comments

Super March 2018
Deirdre · on January 19, 2018 at 11:41 AM
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I am walking with my dad down the aisle, but I am very close with my dad, and he's very traditional, so I am fine with this one. Do your parents get along okay? I had a friend who still had both parents walk her down the aisle even though her parents are divorced. One of my friends who isn't close with her dad walked in with her H (they did a first look, so they had already seen each other). I've also seen women walk out alone and give themselves away. That might be a good option for you since you say that you're an independent woman. I also think that could help to not hurt anyone's feelings. You aren't picking a parent over another one, you are owning your independence and walking out there on your own!
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Dedicated May 2018
Meghan · on January 19, 2018 at 12:19 PM
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I’m walking myself down the isle because my dad isn’t around, thankfully, & I’m not close with my step dad. I’ve always imaged walking myself down the isle butnif I was gonna choose someone, I would have asked my grandfather but he passed in January of last year, I was the closest with him. I don’t think we’re doing any parent dances either so I’m not too worried.
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Expert May 2018
J · on January 19, 2018 at 2:50 PM
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Thank you! Unfortunately my parents really aren’t on good terms and my mom actually wants to avoid my dad at my wedding, so I don’t think I will have both of them. I definitely do like the idea of just walking by myself or maybe having my mom do it, but thanks for the suggestion about walking out with my FH, I hadn’t even thought of that and think it’s a cute idea!
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Champion June 2010
Laura · on January 19, 2018 at 6:39 PM
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The first time I got married, my mom walked me down the aisle. The second time, my 13 year old son did. My dad attended both weddings, but he understood my decision both times because my mom and my son had much bigger roles in my life. At my second wedding, I had him escort my sister (my only bridesmaid) in, then he was seated. It worked for us.
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Just Said Yes July 2018
Sarah · on February 18, 2018 at 6:44 PM
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Just yesterday I told my dad that he wasn’t giving me away, and my stepdad was. We’ve got no relationship, and haven’t for over a decade. He doesn’t know my partners name, how old I am, or how many grandchildren he has.

Make the decision that’s right for you on your day, if that means having your mum instead then go for it, the last thing you want is regrets.
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Dedicated March 2018
Julie · on February 18, 2018 at 8:29 PM
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While I love my dad, I will not be having him walk me down the aisle. I am 46 years old and this is my second wedding. I'm not as close to him now as I was when I got married the first time at 25. I am an extremely independent person, always have been, so I'm doing what I want to do. My oldest brother is my Man of Honor (instead of having a maid of honor) and my daughters (age 16 and 17) will be my bridesmaids. Both of my FH's parents and my mother have passed, so we aren't doing any dances at the wedding except our first dance. His best friend is his Best Man and his 2 kids are his groomsmen. Do what you feel is right for you and makes you happy. As a total people pleaser, it's hard to do sometimes, but I know I'm doing what's right for me this time. You know what's right for you.
Best of luck!
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