Dad wants to go with us to pick out wedding dress

If she wants her das there then that's her choice. I think it's great that her das wants to be involved. My dad wants to be surprised by my dress personally, but my uncle went with my cousin to get her dress, so I think it depends on the person.

Dad* hate that I can't edit my post

I understand it might be uncomfortable for you but it’s her choice who goes to the salon. Figure out a way to be civil with each other and cordial. It’s about your daughter not you two.

It’s her day, not yours. If she wants her father there then she can have him there. Dress shopping is not just a mother/daughter thing, I didn’t even invite my mother and she hasn’t seen my dress yet. You need to be civil and get along with each other for the sake of your daughter. FHs parents do not like each other at all but they will be civil to each other at our wedding.

I took my dad to my final fitting as I wanted him to feel involved. He loved it and it was one of the best moments for me. I would have taken him to all appointments but he hasn't got the patience. If he wants to be involved and she's happy with that, I think it's great.

If she wants him to go let him go. You two will have to be adults and be civil. Can you just behave for the sake od your daughter?

My ex and I don't get along either but we chose to be civil for my daughter when she got married. Yes that included us just not speaking to one another but wr didn't act crazy when it concerned anything surrounding my daughter and her wedding.

Don't say anything to her along the lines of I thought this was supposed to be our day or why does he have to be there he can go anytime to her. Don't force your daughter to choose which parent she likes better because you don't want your ex there.

And PLEASE don't have that unspoken attitude if he comes. If he comes and acts stupid don't play into it. Let your daughter have her day. Support. Lay your personal feelings A-side.

Personally, I get where you're coming from. I didn't even invite my dad because I knew it would upset my mom (that and I knew he would not be interested). I'm sure you're just a bit upset that it won't be just your day like you thought it would be. So it's ok to be disappointed. Unfortunately like all the others have said that disappointment will have to stay here. It is becoming more normal for the dad to have a say in these things.

Maybe instead make another day for you guys. Go get brunch or spend a day doing other wedding shopping. There are 1 billion things to buy. If you're the one planning and organizing the day then it would be normal for it to be just you, and if asked to include him you can say you want it just the two of you. Hope this helps!

It's okay to be disappointed. It's normal now for the bride to include her dad in the dress shopping. I think it's a good thing for her to want both of you there. I'm sure he knows you will be there so it's in your best interest to just be cordial you don't have to talk to her per se but at least try to get along to enjoy the moment with your daughter.

I understand in a way. My dad and I were close growing up, then he left me and my mom my last year of high school. I hated him for it. I told my mom that if I ever got married, he’d never walk me down the aisle. Over time, our relationship improved. A few years later they remarried eachother. He was there when I said yes to the dress at my first and only bridal appt, and I wouldn’t want it any other way

It's up to your daughter. My dad will be coming along, and if my mom threw a fit because of that, I would find it rude and selfish.

Alana says it perfectly.

I empathize with you, but this is the beginning of a lot of events where you will both be present and need to get along for the sake of your daughter. Can you plan to go to the fittings just the two of you? Help her pick out accessories or veils? Attend a bridal expo? You may have imagined the dress being your "thing" together, but there are plenty of opportunities to bond with your daughter throughout wedding planning!

I am a daddy’s girl and initially my dad didn’t want to come because he said it was a “girls thing” but he ended up coming with my mom because my sister had to work and it was honestly the best day ever for me.

It’s her dress shopping experience and if her Dad wants to go and she wants him there you should not deny her of that.

I can understand wanting dress shopping to be something you and your daughter share alone, however, if she wants her dad there I think you need to accept that. It's tough but if it makes her happy isn't that really what you want?

I don’t know whether it’s normal or not, but it doesn’t really matter what’s normal. It matters what your daughter wants, and from the sounds of it she wants both of you there. This one isn’t up to you.

S thank you all for your advice! We will be civil, I planned my son’s wedding. I guess I’m hurt because up until a year ago, he wanted nothing to do with her.

Plus I’ve never heard of such a thing. I have done things with her by ourselves, given her opinions, I took her Engagement pictures, which I was honored she asked me. Sounds like I have to suck it up.

Wedding dress shopping is about the bride, not about the mother or the father of the bride. If she wants her dad there (which is becoming increasingly popular for brides to do), you need to be respectful of that.

It's up to her whether or not he's there. My dad came with me (granted, my parents are still happily married), so I don't think it's particularly weird for the bride's father to go. Set aside another day to be about the two of you, or maybe offer to do a "just us" lunch/dinner before/after (before might be easier, so he doesn't tag along).

This is her decision, not yours. Consider it an opportunity to get over yourself after 20 years of being divorced. You and your ex are supposed to be mature adults. Time to start acting like it and be civil to one another at all stages of this wedding.