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Dad, stepdad or mom-who should walk me down the aisle?

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L + A, on February 23, 2014 at 12:26 PM

Hi everyone A little backstory, my parents divorced when I was 3, in a fairly ugly divorce involving my now stepmom. My mom had full custody, with my dad having visitation rights, and my mom and I moved up to WA state when I was 10. She met Scott, my now stepdad, pretty soon after. My mom and I...

Hi everyone

A little backstory, my parents divorced when I was 3, in a fairly ugly divorce involving my now stepmom. My mom had full custody, with my dad having visitation rights, and my mom and I moved up to WA state when I was 10. She met Scott, my now stepdad, pretty soon after. My mom and I have always been very close, she's now one of my best friends, and Scott has also been a great influence in my life. My dad and I used to talk on the phone once a week, for the past 5 years since college it's been closer to once every few weeks. He's only come up to WA 3 times in 14 years. However, I am the only child and a girl so therefore my dad still has this "daddy's little girl" mentality.

I want my mom and stepdad to walk me down the aisle but I feel like my dad would be crushed. And tradition is the dad walking his daughter down the aisle. What do you all think? My dad hasn't been a big part of my life, but my mom and stepdad had. I don't know what to do!

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Judith · on December 14, 2020 at 4:50 PM
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People see things differently, but my experience with a couple of friends and a SIL has confirmed my reaction every time I hear of Daddy walks her part way, other Dad walks the rest: Don't do it. What ever of the many roles you choose for your fathers to do, have each do it from beginning to end. No walking half way down with one, then swapping to the other coming down the aisle . No starting a dance with one, then having the other step in to finish it. No having one make a minute speech then passing the mic to the other. It is unnecessarily hurtful/ embarrassing to do this one dad half did it and passed you on, the story of your life and theirs. Everyone in the seats will be thinking, yeah, just like he abandoned his duties as Dad and someone else had to take over... Over and over. Whoever is going to walk you down the aisle, have them do it, beginning to end. If doing a reading, or singing a solo, don't split it. Dance a spotlight dance with one. Later have a full dance with the other. Host's welcome ( if helping), or speech, choose 1. You care for each, differently. But replaying being passed on is something enough people have suffered over. Don't replay it over and over in public at your wedding.
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