Cutting invites to the wedding

Once you’ve sent someone a save the date, you have to invite them. These people have already marked their calendars, potentially planned travel and/or to take off work to attend your wedding. To then not end up inviting them would be extremely insulting

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I most def agree! Just don't know how to convince my other half this is the correct way of handling things.

View Quoted Comment Yeah you’re definitely right! Just explain to him that a save the date is like a pre-invitation. It’s basically saying “you’re invited to our wedding so make plans to be there and we’ll confirm the details with an ‘invitation’ once it gets closer.” Your can’t exactly say “never mind you’re not actually invited” after that lol

Agree with PP. The only way to really cut down an invitation list after save the dates have gone out without being terribly rude would be to make the wedding literally immediate family only. But cutting the numbers down from 200 to 150 (or 200 to 100 or whatever arbitrary number) will be hurtful to a lot of people.

View Quoted Comment Out of the 200 probably 150 will come as I’ve gone through it. Some of these people are def family friends/work friends. I do agree that it would be hurtful and it is something we can not do. I tried to explain it to my fiancé but he doesn’t understand.

Please tell your fiance that a save the date IS AN INVITE. To not invite now is horribly rude and relationships are lost over this.

Explain to your fiance that STD's are sent so people have time to make hotel arrangements. I would be thoroughly irritated if I had received a STD, booked a hotel, and didn't get an invite.

View Quoted Comment I would def be the same way!! I find it rude.

You can't send people a Save the Date and then not invite them to the wedding. You need to find other ways to cut money.

Just show him this thread of all of us telling him proper etiquette. To Madison’s future husband: PLEASE LISTEN TO US. You cannot send a save the date and not follow it with an invitation. You’ve already made the decision to invite them when you sent save the dates. No takesies backsies.

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I love this post! Listen to her Madison's future husband! lol

If they got a save the date they must get an invitation. There is no way around it. “Cutting” someone after sending a STD would be extremely rude.

Agree with the others. If a save the date was received an invite needs to be sent out (unless you’ve had a falling out).

We have a list of 175 and we had to cut a few but we are still sending an invite because some may not show.

I would maybe cut out children, say it’s adults only on the invitations. That could possibly cut numbers and also cut out some plus ones. Let people know they can’t bring a b/f or g/f that you guys haven’t met or aren’t close to. That the invitations only apply to who the save the dates were addressed. But yes, you can’t cut out people you’ve sent a save the date to.

One of the many reasons why I personally do not like save the dates. Once you send that save the date in my opinion it's too late. You cant just bank on sending the invite to cut people and hoping they don't show up.

View Quoted Comment We have already said no children! I’m hoping everything works out in the end!

View Quoted Comment It makes me a nervous wreck thinking about it all haha everything will work out is what I keep saying to myself. Maybe it’s the 3 month jitters before the wedding

We had a 400 guest list I have to cut to 250 max 300 because of the venue. That was hard because we have huge families and a huge ministry following. We made some people really upset. At the end of the day it’s about us and what can realistically happen. We will professionally live stream the wedding for those who cant attend, and we are going to enjoy our day. I know how you feel. Trust that everything will workout as it should. Your day is going to be awesome. I moved our date 4 times between 2016 and 2020 due to deaths, finances, and tragedies. Sometimes you just have to trust timing and the way things play out. All will be well beautiful!!!!!! I know we want to follow etiquette but we had to say, due to venue restrictions we have to limit our guest list. Most understood. We refused to go into debt or move our venue... AGAIN... to accommodate. We had to choose what realistically worked for us.

It’s a tough call and I’ve questioned it myself! Here’s my thing with save the dates......I hate that we all all fallen into yet another way for companies to make more profit off us!!!! We basically send an invitation saying your gonna be invited.....if you think about it the whole thing is a ridiculous waste of money and I hate we all got sucked in! Sorry I needed to vent!