Crying Babies?!

I dont think you can pick and choose which kids specifically get to come to the wedding. Especially since they are OOT, how are they supposed to provide childcare for a 6 month old baby? Are they supposed to leave the new baby at home just for your wedding? I dont think you are being entirely fair to them.

I totally understand not wanting your vows interrupted, but it could just as easily be interrupted by a bored 10 year old as a crying baby.

If think if you wanted to not have babies, than you should have made it an adult only affair. How are you going to explain to your friends that kids were allowed, just not theirs?

If you have a wedding director or even one of your moms on hand before the ceremony starts they can discreetly let any parents of young children know that should they get fussy that there's an area (somewhere out of earshot!) that they can take the little ones.

That way they know they'll get the evil eye if they don't hurry any crying kids out asap because they've been warned.

I agree with Carly on that note you cannot discriminate against children if you have already allotted for some to attend. If you did not expect them to come I would have not sent them an invitation. Here is the thing many people tend not to bring small babies to weddings because they themselves want to have a good time. But if they have to, I am pretty sure that they will be able to control there baby and you never know the child may be quiet throughout the ceronmony. This is the least of your issues when it comes to your wedding.

I would have them sit on an end pew so they can easily walk out.

Like others said- you can't pick and choose what kids come.

A 4-5 month old probably will need attention during a long ceremony. I would make sure "for their convience" they are seated where a hasty retreat can be made to a quiet room to see to the baby's needs. I know the last wedding I went to my son was just over a year. we stood in the back( not enough chairs) so I could leave if he cried.

I realize that we can't pick and choose the kids that are coming. But, there is a big difference in the behavior of a 10 year old (the youngest child there. Most are teenagers) and a 4 month old.

Although I do not personally have children, it seems unlikely that a 4 month old baby would be able to sit through a ceremony filled with 200 strangers and loud music without crying.

And while they are OOT guests, and have no where to leave the baby....don't some brides give parents a list of babysitters in the area?

Honestly you cant ask these people to leave their child with complete strangers. You wouldnt do it if you had a child.

If you didnt want to have a 4month old baby you shouldnt have invited these guests. There really is no way to tell them not to bring their child without being rude.

I don't expect them to leave their child with a stranger. But, I also feel they should respect the wedding ceremony. I just think it would be nice if they would be willing to step out of the room, or take turns going outside with him. It is only a 15 min ceremony. I am fine with him being at the reception.

If it is only a 15 minute reception it is very possible that the child will be asleep the whole time.

Yeah if its only 15 minutes I wouldnt worry about it regardless of how many people are there and after a few months of being parents i figure they know their child's temperment and you may bot have anything to worry about

I have the same issue. My 20 year old cousin has a 6 month old and I just know we are going to encounter this problem. I am going to have the ushers sit her at the end pew and maybe have a family member point out where she can go if the baby starts crying. I would hate to be in the middle of our vows thinking "I wish that darn kid would shut up and she would take it out"!

I will say, many babies can sleep through anything or at least stay calm/occupied for 15 min. When my son was little, he slept through his 2 hour confirmation ceremony, loud music and all. I didn't have any babies at my wedding but I was more concerned with the 3 flower girls shrieking with excitement over seeing the fish behind us lol.

I recently attended a wedding with a 2 year old and the whole time he cried for his mommy who was standing beside the bride, VERY distracting. During the reception he got very grumpy and started to throw a fit on the floor so personally, no kiddos will be at my wedding...

A baby just born in Feb. isn't going to cry that much. And I personally think that if you are worrying about this now, it should have been a thought before you invited them. I think it is rude to say, you can come, but don't bring your baby. I will have numerous friends invited with little babies. And what is sweeter than the chatter of little children and the occasional sound of a newborn yawning, saying I'm hungry or whatever it may be. Most mothers will have the courtesy to step out with a crying child. You were a kid too once is what comes to my mind and I am willing to be that your parents were not shunned because you cried once in a while, all kids to it, we as people are accustomed to it and if you ever plan on having kids yourself, get used to it because you will be surrounded by it. I don't mean to sound harsh, but this talk about kids all of a sudden and how they are such a disposition, really bugs me, I have two kids and would have been heart broken if I was asked cont'd.

To either not bring my kids or not come. I would have probably said if you can't accept my family, something that I love with all my heart, then our friendship is not worth me making the trip to celebrate with you, and never talked to you again. I understand some ppl don't like kids and that is fine, to each their own, I support everyone to have the freedom to choose what they do or don't like. But just remember you were a kid too once, annoying, crabby, demanding, snobby and such. People still were kind to you. Sorry, this is my own personal little vent. Not to mention that a 4 month old baby still usually sleeps during the days and keeps mama awake at nights. The 10 year old will have the voice and the words to say, I am bored, can we go yet. A newborn will hush with a bottle or breastfeeding. A ten year old, will argue. Your concerns are the opposite of what they should be.

Of course we do not want to discriminate against inviting children to weddings. It's your personal choice as a bride and groom whether or not you will invite children. Based on my experience as a wedding officiant I want to say that "crying children or misbehaving children" at a wedding ceremony are very distracting. The exchange of vows at your ceremony are meant to be endearing and beautiful and it's all about the moment, making a beautiful memory. If your guests bring children, have your officiant announce at the beginning of the ceremony in due respect to this ceremony, if your child is upset, please exit quietly with the child and then return when all is quiet. Trust me, a beautiful ceremony is the heart of your day.

Emily, I am in the exact situation as you are. I thought we could have an age limit, no children 2 and under... I am now realizing even though I have had my invitations printed out specifically not including the babies that this might be impossible and I have no idea what to do either. But I agree with you 100% that kids should be allowed to be there and that babies are undesirable to have at a wedding. I have a large head count so I am going to try and use safety concerns as a reason. I'd say try and write it on your wedding website and see if people can't take the not so subtle hint. It sounds like with yours you have at least a greater age gap with the kids. I'd also say that upsetting someone before the wedding is WAY better than trying to police them AT the wedding. I am really interested to see more replies/ideas for this thread.

Having a baby at a wedding is like “joyfully” letting it scream in your face and scratch one of your eyes out. A baby absolutely should not be allowed. BUT, you could allow it and mandate that the baby be completely out of earshot in a distant room. If the guest demands to have the screaming thing there, tell them to leave. A real friend would understand and go. A jerk? Why were they invited in the first place?

baby-free zones include:
fancy restaurants
weddings
cinemas
any other intentionally quiet places