Cream puff tier for us and sheet cake for guests?

Don’t serve anything that all of your guests cannot also have. It’s good hosting to have everything equal. Separate desserts a popular trend on WE but it is similar to if you decided to have surf and turf for you and fiancé but all guests are served spaghetti or basic chicken over rice. Guests won’t say anything to you directly but they will talk among each other and leave with a bad taste in their mouths about your hospitality. Perhaps as a compromise she can make enough cream puffs for everyone at the rehearsal dinner and then order cake for all with no cream puffs at the reception.

I wouldn’t serve yourselves something that your guests aren’t offered. It’s bad manners and bad hosting.

Why would you make it your dessert table item if its not being served to guests? If you want, say, your head table to have cream puffs, then just have her make enough for the head table and have them already placed on the table when the reception begins. Then they never have to be passed out in front of guests who aren't special enough to get them.


Also regarding the second paragraph... if you want a variety for your dessert table, you need to buy/make the desserts yourself. Don't just bank on other people doing the work/spending for you. If they bring desserts that can be a welcome addition. But it is up to you to fully stock whatever you want.

I LOVE cream puffs and would be so bummed if I knew I got sheet cake instead.


If your aunts are willing to carry on a Polish dessert potluck tradition that's great-- but only if they offer.

Thanks for the feedback, all. It was really an innocent idea. We want this to feel as much like a fun family party as possible.

The idea was not meant to be in bad taste or manners, not meant to make my guests feel like they aren't special, and not meant to put anyone out.

View Quoted Comment I’m sure your intentions were good :-) that’s why these forums are so helpful! You can bounce ideas off impartial parties and see how people view it. It allows you to gather a little insight on how ideas could be viewed/interpreted by your guests, and can help us all to prevent making faux pas. Maybe have your aunt make you the cream puffs and you and your brand new hubby can enjoy them that night after the wedding or the next morning – your first breakfast as husband and wife

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Cream puffs for breakfast sounds like a GREAT idea to me! lol

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Perhaps she could make the cream puffs for you and your husband and you could purchase some cream puffs from a bakery or mail order to go on your dessert table? You can usually get them inexpensively at Costco or Sam's Club. This web store has a 6 pack of 50 minipuffs for about $88. https://rebelsmuggling.com/product/delizza-50-count-mini-vanilla-cream-puffs-22oz-pack-of-6-ap-apiu-1093?gclid=Cj0KCQjwpcOTBhCZARIsAEAYLuX29elFYPTgpkppvVeg9YuXIzI9kuj_39QvVsLLfYK2KCGOrOVZqF4aAmWREALw_wcB

Im doing a small cake for us and cupcakes for the guests but the flavors will be the same. Only the "packaging " will be different.

View Quoted Comment Could you maybe do the cream puffs at the rehearsal dinner for you and those attending?

I actually disagree with the folks above. It’s your wedding! There are a lot of things at a wedding that are special just for the couple, that no one else does. Eat your darn cream puffs! If you are wanting to display something maybe something like these pics would work, with cream puffs on the top (for you and partner) and other treats on the bottom for guests. I also think if you have family willing to make and bring enough desserts for everyone that’s amazing and special. I would be thrilled to have homemade treats as a wedding guest, and in some families helping out by bringing a dish is how you show love and support.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for including this link. They are perfect. I’ll have to order a box to sample, of course.

View Quoted Comment I love the tower of assorted desserts! I had a sort of family picnic thing in mind (even though our reception is indoors). I have such fond memories of those occasions growing up, and I want our party to reflect and honor that.


The funny thing is, “our” dessert is just for show. As I said, we’re not doing a cake cutting. I did think it would be awesome to smash mini cream pies into each other’s faces, but for some reason, I can’t get my FH to agree to it🤔😆
Thank you again for the suggestions!

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This. Your reception is all about your guests. It's your chance to thank them for coming. It's not great etiquette to partake of something that you're not offering to everyone. I would save it for the rehearsal dinner.

I wouldn't serve something that your guests aren't served. It's bad etiquette and bad hosting.