Crazy Question I know, but How do you uninvited certain guest from our wedding?

That actually happened with my cousins wedding, she wanted to invite some close friends from work but not ALL of th considering how many of them she had. She just handed out save the dates but then when she sent her invitations she just "lost" some.

You really can't...you'll just have to cut some things out (no cake, appetizers only, cut an hour off the bar time, etc...there are lots of ways to cut). The only time you can uninvite someone is if they are being EXTREMELY rude or might cause a huge scene, etc. Just hope that some will decline and hope that you get some gifts to help you get out of debt from the wedding after.

I'm not sure you can really do that...and I'm not one to be big on etiquette, either. I think it would offend most people to be un-invited, to be honest. Sorry! I wish I had a happier answer for you, but this is a hard situation. I think you probably have two options:

#1: make the time of day so you can have very minimal food (ex: classic cake 'n punch reception at 2pm or so) - this isn't something you can do for a 5pm wedding - they'll be expecting dinner afterwards.

#2: elope - then everyone will understand that you've changed the game plan all together, and that basically no one was invited, except for close family/friends. Some will be disappointed, but I think they'd understand.

There might be some third option, but I'm not sure what it is. Good luck with this, that's not a fun situation to be in. I hope you can get it worked out in a good way!

I had to uninvite someone from my first wedding back in 2004... it was hard but it was for a VERY good reason. He was making racist remarks and well, I am of the race he was making remarks about, so I had no issues with offending them.

If there is no "good" reason (I say that in quotes because my idea of good and yours might be different but for the sake of argument, we are saying no good reason meaning following typical wedding etiquette) ..then I would say not offending them would be almost impossible.

Did you invite them word of mouth or with invitations (either via email, post or anything other than oral "omg...you can totally come to my wedding!")

Good luck chica!

Have you already sent invites? If you've sent invites, your guest list is set & you can only hope enough decline and do as was suggested and find other ways to cut costs.

If you haven't sent invites, I personally think you should have a conversation with the "uninvited" people and let them know that your plan have changed and you're not able to invite everyone you originally planned to. I do think this is dangerous if some coworkers will still be invited though.

Mostly I think you should find other ways to accommodate whoever you invited by cutting costs, borrowing a little, etc.

I agree with Becky. I would talk to them since you see them regularly. Just be honest. It still may hurt some feelings, but it's better than not saying anything and "losing" their invite in my opinion.

Thank you for the feedback. Yes, we already sent the save the date to all of the coworkers via email, but now realizing we cannot afford all of them along with family and close friends. We feel so stupid because 3 months ago, things looked fine, but with kids school and other medical bills money just isnt there.

Jacqueline, how many people did you invite? I would say dont uninvite them because you will probably get declines. I invited 150 ppl and my total head count ended up at 99 :-) so dont worry, go head and invite them since they've already received a STD.

Yeeeah, you really can't uninvite people. You can cut down on things...you can buy a cheaper dress, you can go without the fancy centerpieces...but you can't tell people "Sorry, I don't want you to go anymore." It's just really bad form.

Sorry, you can't uninvite people just because you've run out of money. You'll have to scale back the food/beverage/whatever. Did you already send out formal invitations? If so, you're stuck.

It's rude to uninvite people. A STD = an invite. This is another example of why people should ONLY send STDs to VIP guests - people you know will be invited no matter what. STDs do not have to be sent to everyone, especially since the guest list may need to change down the road. It's too late for you but others can learn from this.

You really can't uninvite people without offending them.

This isn't a good reason to uninvite people. Find ways to cut costs so that you can afford to invite everyone you've already invited (and sending a save-the-date means an invitation must follow). Chances are, you'll end up having declines so it won't be a problem anyway.

I'm in the minority here....but I think that if you're going to un-invite people, it CAN be done. have a personal conversation with each. Explain how financial problems have made you cut back and you are incredibly disappointed but you are sticking to family and close friends only.

Now this is only a suggestion if 1) you un-invite ALL coworkers, not pick and choose. 2) you have already paid for/signed contracts and cannot cut costs from other areas (like many previous suggestions) in order to invite everyone.

And this is why Save the Dates are just so unnecessary .....

If you really are THAT strapped for cash don't go into debt for etiquette's sake. Sorry if it's bad form but I would not spend money I don't have. If I were your coworker I would understand if you were totally honest with me.

Un-inviting co-workers runs the risk of work place gossip. If I was to uninvite people I work with everyone in the office would know by the end of the day. Gossip would be rampant and believe me I wouldn't be cast in a good light. Even if I went around and talked to everyone beforehand and explained the situation I would still be offended as a guest. You invited me and now you don't have the money? That's not my fault and perhaps you should have been more conscious of your decisions. It's bad form no matter how you look at it.

I respectfully disagree with JuneBride. If my coworker invited me and then came up to me and said "I was so overwhelmed and excited at the beginning of planning, and I really want you to be at the wedding. But now that the stress of the budget is weighing on us, I realized I can't afford the big wedding I wanted. I know this isn't proper etiquette but I need to turn this wedding into a more intimate event with just family. I hope you understand."

I would totally understand. And if I didn't understand then we aren't good friends and there's no real reason I should be at the wedding anyway.

Unfortunately, I don't think you can really uninvite people. I think it just has the potential for many negative things to happen. I completely agree with JuneBride - even kindly explaining the situation to your co-workers runs the risk of workplace gossip. Perhaps you can cut costs in other ways. I don't know if you ordered your cake yet, but perhaps ordering cupcakes instead (they are less expensive) could help. Even doing little things like closing the bar during dinner could help. You might be surprised that cutting costs on many little things could definitely help save.

I have a similar situation. I didnt send out save the dates yet but I realized I had to let some people know our budget/venu is only allowing mostly family and a few friends. It was our entire bible study group I couldnt invite (12 adults plus 14 kids!). I sent an email (thats how we communicate during the week) and just explained the venue has a number we committed to and we couldnt afford everyone to go and there was no way we were only going to pick a few of them. They were sooo understanding and gracious! And the ladies asked if they could still be apart of my bridal shower!

@Kimberly - I've seen it happen even for small things like b-day parties where people change their minds or tell people they aren't having such and such event. It can be brutal and to me a wedding even more so. I would probably understand as well, but a lot of people don't and won't. I work with a lot of women and they don't let anything go. Also, I only invited people from work that I'm friends with so if I un-invited them their would be hard feelings.