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Beginner October 2021

Coworker invite dilemma!!

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Ashleigh, on February 2, 2021 at 3:03 PM

Help! So thanks to covid, everyone at my job is working from home. We have to have weekly phone calls for just my group (7 of us total) and I got engaged in the middle of last year. So, they all know I’m engaged and all know I’m getting married this October. Here’s my dilemma, I get asked questions about the venue, different details about the wedding, etc. on our weekly phone calls. I don’t want to be rude, so I give answers where warranted. Now I’ve come to where I feel like I have to invite all of them. Initially I had just decided I’d invite my 2 bosses and 1 other coworker (higher ranked than me), because they’re the only people I have a non-work relationship with and have known them since I started working there. We’re already over on our number of guests we were hoping to invite, so it’s getting to a point of even potentially dropping friends from the list. I don’t know what to do!! Any advice would be appreciated!!!

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24 Comments

Super October 2023
Alyssa · on February 2, 2021 at 11:26 PM
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I talked to my one coworker all about her wedding, any drama going on with bridesmaids and in laws. Saw all the pictures she wanted to show me and never once assumed I was invited to the wedding. That's just crazy. We were really good work friends, but we didn't go out to eachothers houses and hang out after work.

Don't invite them, don't feel obligated to if you aren't friends outside of work.
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Expert September 2022
Allie · on February 3, 2021 at 9:27 AM
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Ah ok if you've mentioned it a few times already, I personally think they're just plain ol' excited for you , and I don't think they're gonna expect that everyone is invited, especially in this day and age. And, like a previous poster mentioned, it's nice to hear some good news these days! You sound like a very considerate person who is just trying to be sensitive to other people's feelings, which is never a bad thing! I can definitely see how it would weigh on you, but I personally think you're doing everything right and "by the book," and I think the risk of hurting people's feelings (by answering questions that are brought up to you) is quite low, and you can release this from taking up any more of your energy!
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Beginner October 2021
Ashleigh · on February 3, 2021 at 9:47 AM
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Thanks! 😊
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on February 3, 2021 at 1:59 PM
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Yes, to both of these statements. People make small talk to cover awkward silences on conference calls. An upcoming wedding is an easy topic bring up. I wouldn't read anything more into it than that.
And it's always good advice to only invite coworkers who you see regularly outside of work. Work friendships can feel very close when you see/talk to each every day. But anyone who has changed jobs or been friends with a coworker who has left the company knows how quickly those friendships can disappear.
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