Sarah
Savvy October 2021

Covid - ridiculously stressed out

Sarah, on July 26, 2021 at 8:06 AM Posted in Planning 5 115
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Is anyone here having a wedding in the fall and not addressing Covid? My family talks about the numbers on an almost hourly basis, and I’m just about to lose it. I am vaccinated and most people I know are, but my fiancée’s family is not. Am I the only one that thinks if someone isn’t comfortable going to a wedding right now, they will decline? I will offers masks and hand sanitizer for anyone who wants it, but I really don’t want to ask for vaccination status/negative tests/etc…

115 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on August 17, 2021 at 2:26 AM
  • Courtney
    Dedicated September 2021
    Courtney ·
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    This is something I am starting to get concerned about as well. Considering the second strain of the virus. I am in a similar situation most of my invite list in vaccinated we believe. However I’m worried by the time our wedding come around I’m praying they don’t put a shut down or for them to say we can only have so many people there. This is so frustrating. I’m getting married in September not sure when you are but praying this all works out the best for you and I.
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  • Sarah
    Savvy October 2021
    Sarah ·
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    Praying too!!! I am Oct 2nd! Hoping maybe it all dies by down our dates! A lot can happen in a 6-8 weeks I’m hoping!
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  • Stephanie
    Dedicated October 2021
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag
    I am an October 2 wedding too, and my fiancé’s family is freaked about covid (although they’re all vaccinated). I think everyone on our guest list is vaccinated, and we are not upping our guest list even though we started with a small number (50). Im hoping that with the small guest list, which will allow for social distancing of even vaccinated people, our guests will feel comfortable with coming. But who knows.


    I am fairly confident my state will not have another lockdown (verrry republican governor), so that is not as big of a concern for me. I am more worried about people just rsvp’ing no.
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag

    I 100% agree with you. Our reception is October 2nd and I feel the same way. If you are not comfortable with coming, simply decline I promise I won't be offended lol. I am not asking for anyone to get tested before, I feel like that is a bit much.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Savvy October 2021
    Sarah ·
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    Yeah I am in TN, and I don’t think we will shutdown either. I’m worried about No’s more for my mom than for me. They’ve spent so much money, and she wants a nice, fun wedding so badly for us…and for her and my dad and their friends too. I think we will have 100 at the most, but probably more like 75. I’m just so dang tired of them texting non stop about it! It’s like I’m not even excited about it anymore.


    Hopefully everything goes off without a hitch on 10/2 for you and me!!! 😃
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Savvy October 2021
    Sarah ·
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    I am so glad to find someone who feels the same about it. I’m battling internally like, “am I a monster!?” But wedding planning is hard enough without this added stress! And it’s causing so much tension between myself and my FH! It’s making me not even excited about it anymore because my family is freaking out every other day about it!
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  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    This is really tough since you know that fiancé’s family is largely unvaccinated… they’re putting themselves and others at risk (mainly themselves) but I would definitely be more worried if I knew this. I do believe that people attending weddings at this time are acknowledging the risk they take, however, if you know certainly that there will be a large number of unvaccinated guests I do think some of the oneness is on you to take extra protocols enforcing mask wearing for the unvaccinated (which is in accordance to all CDC guidelines).
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    No you are definitely not a monster. We are all grown and people can/need to make decisions based off of what's best for them. If they choose not to get vaccinated then that is entirely their choice, they can wear a mask and take the proper precautions. If not simply don't go. That is not on you!!

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Savvy October 2021
    Sarah ·
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    I definitely get that! It’s just that out of the 80-100 people who could be coming, his family/friends make up 6 people. He’s not big into family so not many were invited. If his unvaccinated crew made up half the guest list, I would be more worried.
    • Reply
  • M
    Beginner September 2021
    Maria ·
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    I’m having the same issue. I just got to the point where I realised what will be will be with covid and I don’t want to put my life on hold because of it. Covid is a genuine problem at the moment but I really don’t want to postpone the wedding so I feel like looking at it from another angle helped me. Think about how happy you and your partner will be after the wedding and you mentioned your mum was more worried about attendees ( same with mine) so as long as those closest to you are there that’s what matters! After the wedding day there will be so many more special moments too.


    Also on the topic with feeling bad as they’re paying, trust they understand the situation with covid and it’s not anyone’s fault. Are venues giving any flexibility on this?
    This is the risk we all take for having a wedding this year but I feel like looking at the bigger picture helps remind us of what’s important (whatever that may be). Hope this helps x
    • Reply
  • Tori
    Devoted October 2021
    Tori ·
    • Flag

    Our wedding is October 16th and I'm only a little worried. I'm in Missouri, which right now is a crazy hot spot, so my city and county just went under a new mask mandate today. Our wedding is in Illinois though, which I'm hoping their numbers stay down. We're both vaccinated and a majority of our guest list are as well, plus our whole wedding will be outside. So I'm crossing my fingers that we can still have it!

    • Reply
  • Christina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Christina ·
    • Flag
    I’m October 10th and worried too. We already postponed from last October and do not want to do that again. We are in a similar boat with several members of FH’s family not getting vaccinated. Although NYS is no longer requiring proof of vaccination or negative test, we are still requiring those of our guests for peace of mind. Unvaccinated guests will also be required to wear masks. If the risk of coming unvaccinated was solely on the unvaccinated guests, I wouldn’t mind because they can make their own choices. However, because they can put our immunocompromised and older guests (who are VIPs) at increased risk, I mind. I know some people think that’s controversial (which honestly blows my mind), but if the unvaccinated guests don’t like it, they don’t have to come.
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  • Sarah
    Savvy October 2021
    Sarah ·
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    I get it completely! I just struggle with it. It just feels so divisive. Feels like I am punishing people who are choosing not to get the vaccine when, and this is just my opinion and not a popular one, I don’t think they are doing anything wrong. It’s just all very stressful, and I hate the issues it is causing between myself and my FH.
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  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    I agree with Christina. It’s still your responsibility to make sure that unvaccinated guests are following the required protocols like wearing masks and social distancing.
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  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    You don’t have to make it about right or wrong or opinions or politics. It’s the laws and ordinances that are currently placed - it’s not like you’re just choosing arbitrary rules by requiring unvaccinated people to follow cdc guidelines.
    • Reply
  • S
    Expert November 2021
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    It's a tough spot to be in! We postponed from November 2020 to November 2021, and we're only allowing vaccinated guests to attend our wedding. It's possible that we may get a smaller turnout because of this requirement, but that's a risk we're willing to take. I personally would not feel comfortable attending a wedding (or any event) if I knew that there would be unvaccinated people in attendance, but I can only speak for myself.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    We aren't getting married in the fall. We are getting married in a couple of weeks. But I'm stressed because some of my family is against the vaccine and some refuse to wear the mask for many reasons. With the government making mask mandate being an honor system you can't even ask for proof. So we decided the best way to combat this issue the best we can is to keep everyone outside. But my fiance and his family are all about the vaccine and wearing mask. If it rains and we have to have our wedding indoors he actually thinks people are going to be honorable with the masks. But I keep telling him not to expect that. And how we are not going around on our big day and policing people. So I kind of know how you are feeling with this.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Savvy October 2021
    Sarah ·
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    Awesome that you are going to be outside! Our ceremony is outside, and our reception is kind of half inside/half outside. You can just be wherever you want to be. The food and bar are inside, but you can mingle in or out, so I guess that makes me feel a little better! Just hoping that if I provide masks and hand sanitizer, that everyone will do what makes them comfortable! I know everyone says it, but what a weird time to be a bride!
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
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    We also are going to have hand sanitizer at every table and having masks provided. It is such a weird time.
    • Reply
  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
    • Flag
    At this point anyone who is choosing not to get vaccinated has had the opportunity to. It isn't your responsibility to protect them from anything, it's their decision to get the vaccine, wear masks, or anything else.


    I had my wedding in April and I didn't ask who was vaccinated, didn't ask people to wear masks, etc. Our ceremony was indoors and reception outdoors. My BIL and SIL had a fully indoor, normal wedding in Feb. No restrictions. It's entirely up to you.
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